


My Bodyguard

by Anonymous



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: (by White), A surprising amount of fluff, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Injury, Bonding, Cheating, Child Death, Dancing, Developing Relationship, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Fake Character Death, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kaer Morhen, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Multiple Personalities, Nudity, Original Songs, Panic Attacks, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Past Cutting, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Singing, Smoking, Stalking, Stitches, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Unhealthy Relationships, and not in a good way, the opposite of slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:07:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 88,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Jaskier is a wannabe musician with a stalker problem and horrid mental issues, however, everything always runs deeper than just the surface when it comes to him. Geralt, his hired bodyguard, stayed with him for a total of four days, saw his body, then found him again. Found him alive, and under the new name of Irys.  This is the slow journey between the two of them, the slow and confusing feelings in which emerge despite the unbelievably messy situation they are all dragged into.Wattpad linkNot a happy story, but it has some very light-hearted moments.All underage and rape is implied/mentioned, but I tagged it anyways.Entirely pre-written. Updates happen in bunches.Tags will be updated as we go along.Tags were overhauled on Dec 9, 2020.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel/Lambert (The Witcher), Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Vesemir, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Renfri | Shrike, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Triss Merigold/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Kudos: 4
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! If you're anything like us, then you probably skipped right through the tags. Here are the warnings you need to know about (and this is not a happy fic, so buckle in):  
> -Homophobia  
> -Rape/rape subjects  
> -Sexual language  
> -Strong use of language  
> -Depression/PTSD/Anxiety (including episodes within them)  
> -Cheating  
> -Stalking  
> -Self-abuse  
> -Family abuse  
> Please do not read if you are not in a good headspace!
> 
> As this was originally a roleplay, there are a lot of POV changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mentions of/implied rape (not quite rape, but the context is similar, if that makes sense), panic attack/mental breakdown

_Geralt POV  
  
_Geralt stepped into the elevator, which was thankfully empty. He pressed the button for the top floor and watched the doors slide closed. When they had shut with a hiss, the metal box jostled and began to crawl upwards. It was always sweltering in here, even at night, he reflected, and the same crappy, cheery instrumental song was all that played. But this was the less used elevator.   
  
He didn't often feel the need to take it. But last night he had gotten a call that first thing this morning, he was to report to an office. He was being reassigned. Why he had yet to be told. That was how Witcher Corps operated. They ensured that their employees had the top of the line gear and training, and in return, both employees and clients were to ask no questions.  
Geralt clasped his hands behind his back, staring at the steel doors that were beginning to rust. He'd been here twelve years. At the start of that, they'd had the same amount of rust. Hell, he'd tried to clean it himself with no luck. He had since abandoned figuring it out. What was a little rust, anyways? There was a decidedly too cheerful 'ding!' made by the elevator to announce to him he had reached the seventeenth floor.  
  
He stepped out of the elevator, striding smoothly down the hallway. There were smaller offices branching off it. In the end, there was one big office, two medium ones on either side of it. Geralt approached the medium office on his left, and knocked once, twice, before stepping back and clasping his hands again.

_Julian POV_

Inside Jaskier had been sitting there on the overly comfortable chair that was starting to hurt his back. He waited, nervous, praying that this time he wouldn't have a large-breasted bitch like the last bodyguard he had. Don't get him wrong, she was nice to him when she wanted something like a couple of hours to go on a date or an extra smoke break.  
  
He sighed, his black ripped jeans and leather polished boots were way too hot, damn this building was more stuffed than a turkey on thanksgiving. His black-rimmed eyes scanned the room, it was simple but what it had was either very expensive or very comfortable which screamed also very expensive. He was wondering in his head how his manager could afford them but then again, he was starting to get popular.  
  
He scratched and his shirt sleeves, bright magenta shirt with swirls pattern embroidered onto it. He was always a sucker for wearing good clothing, even if to others the shirt wouldn't be fashionable, he liked it. All of a sudden two knocks echoed into the room from the door, only two knocks? Damn, Jaskier could already tell this person was either a straight to the job type of person or an I don't want to be here type of person. He was silently praying for the first option.  
  
His manager stood from leaning against the wall and looked at the door. Her heels clicked on the ground as she walked to the door, green eyes, and red hair. In a suit and skirt with tights and overly large heels. The same outfit she wore every damn time Jaskier saw her which was a lot seeming he had lived at her place for the past month.  
  
"Come in." She almost yelled at the door as she opened it slightly so it cracked enough in a gesture for them to walk inside.  
  
Her eyebrow raised slightly as she saw the man before she almost shrunk under his presence. Jaskier was watching, eager to see who the new bodyguard was. It was nice to be able to hopefully go to his apartment again and not stay with his manager any longer. She's a sweetie but by God's her habits drive him crazy.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt stepped into the room, his eyes observing it warily. The floor to ceiling windows around three of four walls revealed that outside, the sky was just starting to lighten. The far wall was entirely glass, with the transparent material creeping onto the first half of the walls beside it.  
  
He stepped forwards smartly, taking in the man seated at the desk. He looked, in Geralt's professional opinion, like someone who had accumulated fame and didn't know what to do with it. As such, he had gotten into trouble doing stupid things even a child knew not to do and now needed to hire a bodyguard.  
  
His boss, Vesemir, had drilled it into him thousand times to take first impressions seriously, but to also be willing to set them aside. He stopped walking once he reached the center of the room, his hands still clasped behind his back.  
  
"I was summoned?" He inquired, wanting to see who answered and who was really in charge here- the wanna-be playboy-rock-star, or his manager?

_Julian POV_

Jaskier looked at the man who walked in. Hold crap, he was huge. He looked huge at least, but still around Jaskier's height. Just Jaskier was lean and slim whereas the bodyguard.. well, he looked like a bodyguard for sure. He looked at him, as did his manager. Jaskier's mouth turned from a straight line into a large grin and stood up. He was right, they were around the same height.  
  
"Ah! Yes, you were. Hopefully, you'll be working with me due to some unfortunate circumstances which happened but it wasn't too big of a deal but some stuff went down with the previous bodyguard and also a couple of people in the middle of the night and something about something a rather but I can't remember the half of it due to all the shock and other ugly things that happen in the brain. Either way, you're going to be stuck with me for around a month or so in my apartment with me. There is a spare of everything, Miss Lancey here and I set it up so that you'd be alright and comfortable. Does that sound okay? " he asked with a large grin.  
  
24-hour supervision of sorts sounded extremely overprotective for a man like Jaskier who waved his arms around and had eyes brighter and shinier than the damn sky. His manager stared at Geralt from where she was beforehand, she was obviously intimidated by him. But if Geralt wasn't hired out for being overprotective then some shit would've really gone down. Honestly, Jaskier thought his manager was being way too overprotective with the 24-hour watch but to be fair, he was actually rather shaken up about the event. He just hadn't allowed himself to face what had happened yet.  
  
"Oh! I'm Jaskier by the way! Lovely to meet you, and who might you be?" he asked.  
  
Jaskier has a grin and gestured to Geralt with his eyes by roaming them up and down his body to try and suss him out. He liked to look on the outside he was flirting but internally he was analyzing as much as he could about the man.

_Geralt POV_

"Geralt." He grunted out.  
  
Anyone superior to him had clearly failed to mention that he would be stuck on babysitting duty for the next month. Baby might have been accurate- the man, Jaskier, he had called himself, looked a few years younger than Geralt, and was clean-shaven. Having listened to the man talk, he was beginning to understand why he, Geralt, would be shifted to this assignment. A robbery, assisted by the man you had hired to protect you, would leave many people shaky.  
  
He didn't doubt Jaskier was being sincere when he said he couldn't remember all of that night. He was used to having to room in his client's living quarters, especially due to his preferred line of work within body-guarding.  
  
If he was going to have to deal with working beside someone who was in enough trouble to need a bodyguard, then he expected an interesting case, with plenty to learn from and enough pay at the end that there was the option of drowning it all out. In other words, when Jaskier mentioned such a thing, he accepted it as part of the job. The man was flirty, or did a damn good job appearing as such. If being observed wasn't something Geralt was trained to notice, he likely would have missed his client's intentions.  
  
"Do you always talk this much?" He said after introducing his name and letting a few beats pass.  
  
He didn't see why Vesemir and his other superiors thought to move him here. He was far from talkative, and this man had been betrayed, was all. He had escaped unscathed but for terror. His current, no FORMER, client had been fascinating. She had a death threat hanging over her head, and the man who was trying to kill her had wanted to hire Geralt as well. No one else. Just Geralt. And the wannabe playboy-rock star was talkative.

_Julian POV_

"Ah well, Geralt! What a gorgeous name. There's a little more to our lovely little story but I'd rather do it one on one back at my place. And yes! Indeed I do talk this much! Right well is there anything you want to know before we get shimmying? Oh, and if I could catch a ride with you to my place, my manager can go back to her office and finish things up there." he blabbered on.  
  
Jaskier's grin that probably couldn't get any bigger somehow managed to get slightly larger. With his tone of voice it's almost like he knew no one would really be listening, he only made his tone change when he asked a question or actually said a statement of importance.  
  
Lightly, he patted Geralt on the shoulder, it was like a feather, ensuring not to make the man feel uncomfortable if he wasn't used to being touched and by how still he stood all the time, that looked very much so to be the case of things. Jaskier smiled up at Geralt hopefully, eyes big and puppy-like. In reality, he knew his manager was scared.  
  
Why was she? He had no idea at all. Was it a common reaction towards Geralt? He didn't know but his manager needed to just leave because her being a shell-shock little frozen spaghetti stick wasn't really helping. He got to shut up and let her do the talking but it appears that didn't work out so well. The manager paused, eyes drifting to Geralt to hear the response as she was basically shaking in her boots.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt didn't flinch at Jaskier's touch, but he did grit his teeth. He... strongly disliked being touched, especially by strangers. Even with Vesemir or his own brothers, he tried to avoid physical contact. Sometimes it meant going out of his way. Sometimes it didn't. But in the present, he had been asked for a ride home.  
  
"My car is parked outside," he said.  
  
His voice one of those ones where despite the soft speaking, everyone listens and can hear. Perhaps it was because he spoke as infrequently as he could. But Jaskier and what had he called the woman? Miss Lancey? might not know that.  
  
"As for other questions. Why would my superiors assign me to you?" He assumed there was a good reason.  
  
He had been caught up and in the middle of something, had been very busy, when he got the email and then a call, telling him he was being reassigned.

_Julian POV_

"Tell me are you always this broody Geralt?" he teased lightly.  
  
Jaskier smiled at Geralt's response, a light laugh escaping his lips. He appreciated the ride home though, honestly it made it easier and at least now the man would easily know where he lived once he'd driven there. His smile lightly varnished for a brief second, a flash of something in his eyes. Remorse. Miss Lancey nodded to them both, Jaskier moved his attention back to her and waved.  
  
"See you later on beautiful! I'll text you when I get home!" he yelled out to her as she scattered off.  
  
"Is everyone that scared of you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow before meeting Geralt's eyes. Damn, odd color but they were gorgeous.  
  
"Right, business. We can talk in the car. I can mope in there, let me be a little bit happy for now. Oh!" he said his face picking up in a grin. "I forgot the way out of here. I saw a few other broody guys on the way in here, I take it that those were your comrades?" he asked, wanting to try suss out a little bit of information from Geralt.  
  
As much as he appreciated having a new bodyguard he had to ensure this one was trustworthy. At least he wouldn't go spilling his guts about who knows what to who knows who. It'll keep Jaskier safe. Lord if he knew this was going to give him so many trust issues.  
  
He was fucking terrified. He wouldn't dare tell anyone that even though he had a feeling he was going to spill his guts to Geralt in the car. He could try to distract him but. Well, he didn't know. He didn't read the contract, he just signed it and prayed. Fuck. He should've read it. He'll just have to ask Geralt afterward about the contents of it later on, possibly when they were in that car.

_Geralt POV_

"Most people." He grunted out.  
  
He narrowed his eyes at Jaskier, the implied words obviously 'not you.' He turned on his heel and walked back towards the office door, holding it open for Jaskier to pass through. As they walked down the hallway to the main elevator, Geralt decided to answer Jaskier's other question.  
  
"Those were Lambert and Eskel." A pause. "My brothers."  
  
They weren't blood brothers, but they had been trained by the Corps at roughly the same time, with Geralt and Eskel being one year ahead of Lambert. He called them his brothers, regardless of what they actually were.  
  
Geralt pressed the button to call for the elevator, then cursed as the doors slid open a minute or two later to reveal a handful of men in business suits holding paper coffee cups. Some had beards, most had scars. Maybe one of them looked comfortable in his suit.  
  
He stepped aside to let them pass, then got into the elevator. Once Jaskier was inside, he pressed the button for the ground floor and clasped his hands behind his back again. The elevator music came on, some easy listening crap Geralt didn't hear anywhere else but here.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised at the fact most people would run away. Honestly so far Geralt seemed like a decent person, one who would make everyone okay secretly without letting people know that he was doing so. He snapped out of his confused state as he saw Geralt open up the door for him and he looked a bit surprised before he grinned at the man. He happily walked out and followed wherever Geralt was taking him.  
  
He cringed internally when he saw the elevator. That thing looked like a death trap, he forced his manager to walk the stairs with him. As it opened and revealed other men, Jaskier's heart rate picked up. Usually he wouldn't mind being stuck in an elevator of men but he could feel their intensity from where he stood, not to mention the sickening heat that radiated to where. He was.  
  
He looked at Geralt for once not having much to say, and followed in behind the man. He stood next to Geralt. His breathing was a little bit faster, mainly for the fact that the elevator looked like it could break if it wanted to. He was tiny and would get crushed if it suddenly dropped. If not by the metal then surely by the man next to him.  
  
Jaskier cleared his throat a little, clamping and unclamping his hands on the spot. He was intimidated by the people who were behind him, even though no one was there now. He was terrified actually if anything, the heat really didn't help. His cologne that he wore that slightly smelt of dandelions and cinnamon filled the elevator as he felt a drop of sweat from the back of his neck drip down to his collarbone and down into his shirt.  
  
Luckily when he sweats, it was mainly at the back of the neck. He waited patiently, keeping breathing in check as he looked in front of him and slightly down which was a bad idea due to seeing a light slither of light seeping through as they passed each level.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt, disturbed a little by the fact that Jaskier had actually quieted, kept his gaze straight ahead, watching the buttons of the elevator. The screen above them was counting down slowly to one. Too slowly for the bodyguard's liking. They were only on floor twelve now. He turned his head, and only his head, to look at his client. He said nothing, but Geralt could tell he was anxious.

His posture and the fact that a cologne that wasn't his filled the air gave him away. But Geralt would say nothing. With only the two of them in the elevator, there were no other witnesses of Jaskier's nerves. Geralt was slightly startled when his phone buzzed from the pocket of his trousers, loud in the small space. He took it out, notifications displayed on his lock screen.

 **Yennefer of Vg.**  
To: Geralt _  
Did you meet him yet? The new client._

Geralt gave Jaskier an apologetic glance, but unlocked his phone and typed a reply.

 **Geralt of Rv.**  
To: Yen _  
Yes. He hasn't answered as to why I was assigned to him._

He could almost hear Yennefer rolling her eyes at him.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier breathed slightly more even, having gotten used to the sensation of the shitty ass elevator, tracks of rust all over it. He kept clamping and unclamping his hands, if you looked at it enough you could see that he was actually making guitar notes with his fingers in a poor attempt to calm himself. He looked at Geralt and smiled a little bit up at him, noticing him get out his phone and text someone.

Jaskier felt a smile creep up onto his face. He was glad that Geralt wasn't petrified of the damn elevator like he was. It means if shit happened at least one of them would have the brains to do something about it. Jaskier moved his weight on his feet, thinking it might ground him a little but it did the opposite.

His knee buckled out from under him as he shifted, luckily swerving away from Geralt instead of towards him. That would've been his most embarrassing achievement yet if he managed to do that. He let out a yelp as he started to fall backward and shut his eyes tightly. Fucking hell he hated elevators, even more than beforehand now. There was a reason why but he had a feeling that would not surface.

_Geralt POV_

**Yennefer of Vg.**  
To: Geralt _  
Geralt, I'm sure he'll tell you at his own pace. That is, if you managed to say the words aloud._

He saw Jaskier's knees, starting to sense what would happen at the moment before it did. Smoothly, he reacted, following his training and the muscle memory drilled into him since he was young, still a child. Geralt immediately took his phone in the hand furthest from Jaskier, taking half a step towards him and catching the man with an arm around the middle of his back. He stood there, supporting the man for a moment.

The bodyguard was calm, pulse even, and as slow as ever. He had been trained for this sort of thing, had caught people in worse positions before. This was nothing and was certainly nothing new. When he was certain Jaskier could stand again, he set the man back on his own two feet and stepped away again, though now he was closer than he had been.

Geralt threw a glance towards the screen saying what floor they were on. Floor 5 and decreasing. He gave it a minute, then sent Yennefer a quick text. They were on floor two when his phone buzzed again. He glanced at the lock screen before turning it off and returning the device to his pocket.

 **Geralt of Rv.**  
To: Yen _  
I'm driving him home. Don't expect any answers to your texts._

 **Yennefer of Vg.**  
To: Geralt _  
Have fun._

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's eyes opened up instantly as soon as he felt Geralt touch him, wildly looking at him with the most fear he'd felt since that day before he realized it was Geralt and stood up properly, clearly embarrassed. He growled lightly at himself as he stood, he took some deep breaths and felt a tad bit better. He watched as Geralt texted again and smiled a little bit. It comforted him knowing Geralt wasn't staring at him with intensity or with an eager look to get to something.

"G-" he tried and cleared his throat "Geralt," he said quietly as he looked up at the man with a small smile and an honest look on his face.  
  
"Thank you, for that. And for you know, taking up the job without really knowing what you're doing," he said while playing with his sleeve a little.  
  
He honestly felt a little bit confused as to why Geralt was selected, he was the total opposite of Jaskier's overly cheerful and confused emotions of a roller-coaster whereas Geralt seemed relaxed, calm, and seemed to know what the hell he was doing. Honestly extreme opposites usually get along so hopefully, that would be the case. He didn't pick him by hand, he left that up to the company.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt looked back at Jaskier as the other man spoke. Not that taking the job had been entirely his choice. Normally, he didn't mind reassignment.

"You're welcome," he said brusquely.

There had been a few times he had ended up going someplace better because of it. But before Jaskier, he had been protecting someone who had desperately needed his help. She couldn't fend off everyone, and that included herself. So perhaps he was being a bit short with the man.

The elevator did its annoying 'ding!' and opened the doors into the ground floor. Geralt let Jaskier exit first, since he was closer to the door, then the bodyguard followed. He led the way to the main door, which was past the front desk. The lady at the front, Triss, looked up from the book she was reading and waved. Geralt nodded in return. She returned to her novel. Geralt walked through the door, which was one of those glass revolving ones with the four segments. They reached the sidewalk, the smell of freshly cut grass reaching them. There was a parking garage behind the main building.

"That was Triss. The car's around the back," Geralt said.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier gave him a small smile before jumping out of his skin at the 'ding'. He stood up straight and looked forwards before seeing the doors open. He let out a quiet oh as he realized the elevator had made the noise. He walked out, inhaling the air which seemed so much fresher. God it was hot in there.

Jaskier hummed as he saw the woman with her nose in a book and Jaskier smiled at himself, people relaxing was something he enjoyed to see. He kept walking, seeing Geralt step forwards, walk and opened the door behind him, following him out. Jaskier stretched his arms and legs, a smile on his face as he looked around, having seen no one.

"So. My last bodyguard let three men into my house. On purpose, making sure I was asleep. They took some of my belongings, mainly underwear and other sexualized items." he explained.

As he did so he kicked a stone, the smile didn't leave his face. He had to show he was okay somehow, mainly by pretending it wasn't him that it happened to and it was just a story.

_Geralt POV_

"Why?" Was the first word out of Geralt's mouth. Understanding motivation made understanding people that much easier. He and other Corps members were supposed to be on top of knowing who was who, especially in the celebrity world, and knowing how likely each was to be the target of something like this.

He was not the first, nor would he be the last, member of the Corps to fall behind on such a thing. He didn't know who Jaskier was, to put it simply. The face was vaguely familiar, but he didn't know what the other did for a living or why he had been robbed.

He fell into step beside Jaskier as he brought them to the parking garage. The morning was still new, the sun barely breaking the horizon yet. As a result, there were few cars in the garage, though there were more than you might find for other lines of work.

Geralt brought them up to the second level, careful to take the stairs this time. He stopped beside a comfortable-looking silver car. The convertible awning of it was pulled forwards, acting as a roof. Geralt fished the keys out of a pocket and unlocked the car.

"Get in," he told Jaskier, before getting into the driver's seat himself and starting up the engine.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier raised an eyebrow at the question. "Well, that's something I would like to know as well. When I woke up, I woke up from a strange scent. It was like a Lime gone off and was rotting in water sort of stench. I opened my eyes and there was a man over top of me. Pants down to his ankles and hand working away at himself. He was moaning and grunting, not the sexy kind either before you ask." He explained as they walked side by side. Jaskier smiled at Geralt in appreciation as he saw the stairs and they started walking up it.

"He had released on top of me, it was all over me and for warning, I sleep naked, well at least used to. I screamed, silently though. Then it gets a bit fuzzy. But I'm told he tried to do some nasty things, the other two, one was there helping and the other was leaving condoms around the place. I saw the bodyguard and screamed at her to help me and she smirked and shut the door. Only because my manager put on a thing where if I press my on and off button on my phone enough it automatically calls her and the police gets a notification. By the time they came I had blacked out, one man, the man who was hanging the condoms, got caught but the others had scattered. They found writing on the rooms of their shit and piss in jars all over the place-" he explained as before he saw the car.

"Oh my gods, is that yours. Jesus, it looks so fancy, no wonder your company is expensive, you get fancy cars but your elevators are death traps." he chuckled lightly and looked at the car before hopping in and shutting the door behind him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt snorted. "It belongs to my girlfriend, actually. Mine's at the shop." Not all of the elevators were death traps. Just the one he liked most. He pulled on his seat belt, making sure it clicked before taking his phone out of his pocket again.

"Address?" He opened Google Maps and propped his phone up on the dashboard.

He began thinking over the tale Jaskier had told him as he put the car in reverse and began backing out of his parking space. It was disturbing, to say the least. Some sicko had wanted release and had found Jaskier as the way to do it.

Shifting the car to drive, he turned and drove around the level of the parking garage, following the path to the ramp down. He turned onto that as well, bringing them down to the first level. It was a straight shot outside from there. Geralt fed his ticket to the machine at the exit, which opened the metal bar. He drove through, turning into the main road. A thought occurred to him as he did so.

"What company did your previous bodyguard work for, and how long did she work for you?"

He figured that Jaskier might have changed companies, trying to find someplace that was more reliable. If this had been an inside job, then the last bodyguard might have either taken her time or gotten it done quickly. He briefly wondered if she had been paid. His phone buzzed with an incoming text, whose notification appeared at the top of his screen. He glanced at it, but otherwise paid it no mind. Yennefer knew he was driving, it could wait. If something really bad had happened, she knew to call him.

 **Yennefer of Vg.**  
To: Geralt _  
Don't try anything in my car, Geralt._

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled a bit and left out a light "Ah." before he processed what he had said "Oh right! 4C, the Luxan Apartments near the main town on Amber Street." he said to Geralt.

His driving was, well, Jaskier was quite impressed by it. A lot smoother then again it could be the car. His girlfriend's car hmm... Jaskier sat for a moment trying to imagine what she'd look like. He was guessing a sexy lady who was all sexy and up in your face with snarky comments and a bitch with a heart probably. Or a complete blonde-haired angel who goes to church every Sunday, he actually placed a bet to himself that that one would be the right one.

"Hmm?" he asked a bit confused, pulling himself out of his daze "oh right, well they worked for Viper or something like that. It was a snake I know that much. Their name was Xilth. At least that's what I called her because she refused to let me call her by her name. I don't know what her name actually was but I think it was Dorothy or something like that when we, my manager and I, filled in the report." he explained rather quickly and all in one breath.

He hated to think about it. When he has to explain it it's like it became real again. Jaskier scratched at his hands, only realizing how dry they were, they were starting to crack. Ever since that day if anyone touched his skin, anyone at all, he had to wash his hands or shower and scrub until he almost bled, if not then until he did bleed.

"So, girlfriend eh ?" he asked a little bit cheekily "what is she like? Sexy witch or Christian blonde?" he asked, assuming the latter one would be right.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt plugged the address into his phone before backing out and exiting the parking garage. Once outside, he began making his way towards the town's approximate center. Amber Street, huh? He knew Viper's type. Most of their employees were little more than expensive bitches with muscles. They didn't always find a reason to want to protect their client, and more often than not, would resign from that job once they got a better paying offer. Which, ironically, had been one of the first things he had been taught when Witcher Corps had taken him in.

They did both physical and mental training there, working towards their people being the best money could buy. He had been taught to always, when meeting a client and taking a job, always find something there that you like or want to preserve. Make it small, so you can stay detached but find it. Maybe it's their dog. Maybe they've got kids who come home on the holidays. But find something that is worth protecting about them, no matter how despicable they are. It makes the job easier. Geralt looked over at Jaskier when he asked about his girlfriend. Course. He had mentioned this was her car.

"Witch." Yennefer was indeed sexy, but Jaskier didn't explicitly need to know that. "Literal witch. She's got some voodoo shop set up." Which, thankfully, was not where they met. But it had been related. "I met her at some witch ComicCon-style event. I forget what it was called."

_Julian POV_

Jaskier hummed a little bit and nodded in understanding. A proper witch? Of course she was a proper witch. Jaskier looked out the window, it didn't really bother him that Geralt had a girlfriend, after all, he was just his bodyguard.

It was not ideal to Jaskier but Geralt seemed pretty serious about his work and wouldn't allow himself to be distracted. People outside were going about their daily lives as Jaskier started with slight envy. He sometimes wondered what it would be like if he wasn't semi-famous. Would he have had those individuals do as they did if he was normal? He shuddered at the thought before grinning at Geralt.

"So! Seeming you'll be living with me for a while, are there any pet peeves you have? I have a bath and shower luckily so you can choose either. Oh! Also what do you like to eat? And drink, if you do drink. Because I love to cook, I turn into a bit of a housewife with it but a fine drink, a fine drink is always best when composing." He blabbered on, the air in which was silent with slight tension turned into a very carefree and bubbly one.

" Oh! And I compose a lot. My studio is in the apartment. It's a bit of a makeshift one, you can talk to me as I compose and I'll often ask for advice. I sing many genres and I won't be offended if you don't like any of my music. Well, I slightly will if you insult it, but nothing bone-deep. The room is soundproof, many egg cartons later." he had to improvise with the soundproof room, seeming as they never actually bothered to ensure it was soundproof and he found out by a few unhappy neighbors at 4 in the morning that it wasn't.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt turned onto the street the apartments Jaskier lived in were located. He saw parking behind the complex and drove there. They were nice buildings, really. Nothing overly posh, but the complex was sleek and clean. He appreciated that. With a little luck and likely help from Jaskier's manager, his client's apartment was about the same. Geralt parked and removed his keys. He slid his phone into his pocket and opened the door, getting out of the car. He shut and locked it behind him, looking towards Jaskier.

"You lead." It wasn't just about the fact he didn't know where he was going. Those words ran deeper than that. He knew that even if people wanted a bodyguard, they still wanted control. To look, act, and feel like they were in charge, not just be it. He remembered his second assignment. He had over-stepped and had tried to lead someone who wanted to keep the power to take charge to themselves. He had been fired, nearly on the spot. Geralt had learned since then to mention those words early on and to figure out where he stood- literally and figuratively.

The assignment before this one had been different. He had been equal. He would almost dare to say a friend. They had known each other beforehand, certainly. She had asked for him in particular due to that. As he followed Jaskier, Geralt couldn't help an anxious glance over his shoulder towards the direction of her home. She lived far from where they were now, not even in this country, but he tried to see her nonetheless.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier hummed quite happily as he stood out of the fancy car, opening the door before closing it behind him. He let out a muffled Hm as he stretched his back.

"My gods how do you sit in that thing, it's far too comfortable," he muttered under his breath before he started walking. Taking the outside stairs to the second level of the building he walked to the very end apartment and took out his keys, unlocking it. When he said he and his manager had prepared it, Jaskier and her were over Skype. He hadn't actually been back just yet. So he hadn't been in the building since that night.

"Well Geralt, welcome to your new home!" he said cheerfully with a large smile on his face as he opened up the door. Everything practically shone. Before the events Jaskier wasn't the cleanest person. He had food laying around, dishes not done, clothes folded to put away. He wasn't dirty but not tidy either. Now he was a severe clean freak when it came to himself and his belongings.

As he opened the door, to the left was a couch that connected together at a 90-degree angle in front of the TV which was medium-sized and angled towards it. There were small tables next to each side of the couch's length and a matching footrest in front of it. Simple but luxurious compared to what he grew up with.

To the left was an island and a kitchen with two ovens, many cupboards, and a wine rack with, well it was full of around 40 bottles. The lights dangled above the island and well as some over the sink. The lino on the ground stopped and turned to carpet right before the couch started. It turned to carpet down the thin hallway as well. Being two bedrooms, one straight ahead, the other to the left, and the bathroom to the right. There was a door from the living room that led into his studio.

"Right! Oh is there anything you need to get?" he asked as his eyes scanned the place, he was searching every damn detail to make sure no one was here. That's what his bodyguard was for but he'd rather have him feel like a guest than if he was at work. If the man felt as if he were working the whole entire time then he could possibly pass out from damn near exhaustion. Plus, Jaskier wasn't quite sure if he could trust him fully yet. He seemed as if he could but his last Bodyguard also seemed harmless.

_Geralt POV_

"Yes," Geralt replied, stepping cautiously into the space. He had put everything in the trunk of Yennefer's car. He would have brought it with him to the apartment but he had wanted to see the place first. To get a feel for it. He cast a shrewd gaze around, searching for anything that seemed out of place.

The entire area was cleaner than he had originally anticipated, but after hearing Jaskier's story of that night, it only made sense. Satisfied, he took a few more steps inside. No one. When he strained his ears, still no one. Very well. Geralt turned to look at Jaskier.

"My things are back in the car. I'll be a little while getting them." He stuck the keys he was still holding in his other pocket, the one not holdin _g his_ phone.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled but he still swallowed lightly at the fact Geralt was going to leave him there all alone. He supposed he should get over it. He knew where he wanted to go the first time. He nodded and walked over to the studio room. He opened the door slightly and smiled a little, turning on the lights for it. It wasn't tiny, but it wasn't big either.

There was a computer with a couple of chords linked into it for a sound alter and a bright red wheely chair. A stool stood behind a microphone which looked quite expensive as it was one of the things he needed for clarity of his voice. And his gorgeous girl, his lute. Guitars, well he could play them but they're overrated. The lute gives that extra added feel to it and when he goes live it makes people feel special.

He grinned as he picked it up before he paused and looked around the room, shit, the feelings were coming back. Everything he had repressed. He settled the lute back down before he looked around wildly. His face, all the color drained from it as he felt a lump in his throat and his stomach-turning. He thought he could handle it, why couldn't he handle it. Was he this weak?

⋆✧⋆

_Geralt POV_

Geralt watched Jaskier disappear into a room, then turned and walked back out of the apartment. He took a brief time to learn how the lock worked on the door. There was a bolt that could be used from the inside above it as well. The lock itself was the kind that would lock behind you as you shut the door, and could only be unlocked from the inside or with a key.

Geralt stepped out into the hall and shut the door behind him, trusting Jaskier to let him back in. If that failed, well, he could text his superiors. Else, Geralt had the tools and knowledge to break down a door if he must. But that was extreme, and almost certainly unnecessary in this case.

The bodyguard made his way down two flights of stairs and emerged onto the second level of the parking garage, where he had parked. He walked briskly to Yennefer's car, aware of the potential dangers of leaving Jaskier alone too long. The man had just gone through a traumatizing experience in the apartment he was currently at.

If he broke down, Geralt was supposed to be there. He was there to protect the man, yes, but also to protect him from himself. Geralt reached the car and unlocked it, popping the trunk as well. He lifted the door of the trunk, revealing a fortified black duffel bag and a pouch of stiff leather. He grabbed both, holding the pouch and slinging the straps of the duffel bag upon his shoulders. He shut the trunk, locked the car, and started jogging back towards the apartment Jaskier lived in.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's body felt as if it had gone into a form of shock. Blood felt cold but his heart rate was at around 130 beats per minute, that's a weight-lifter's damn heart rate and bodybuilders, not a damned man who played in front of a camera as a career. He swayed, falling back onto the wall behind him, not caring about the unevenness of the egg cartons against his back, he turned, all the sounds seemed to merge into one high pitched noise that rang in his ears. He ran out of the studio.

If he was going to be sick, at least it wasn't going to be there. Unknown tears flooded down his face and neck, some dripping to the ground but most traveling down his body and wetting his shirt. Sweat poured off of the back of his neck as his hairs stood on end. He felt it come up and he vomited. It was out of him and on the ground, luckily he had made it to the kitchen lino so it wouldn't be as hard to clean up.

The images flashed inside of his head, his lute had writing in blood on it, he didn't know where from but it smelt like a female's monthly, and not the hygienic kind. There had been released all over his computer and keypad, the sick bastards hand pissed on the walls and recorded themselves on his camera of them fucking his chair and- He had to stop, the vile came up his throat again as he let out a scream, he could feel them over top of him, he could hear it and see it more than it was at the time.

He didn't know when, but he was on the floor curled up in a ball against the side of the island to prop himself up to feel as if there was something that grounded him. He was covered in his own sweat and vomit, thankfully he went to the bathroom earlier so when he pissed himself it was only light and it only soaked through his fabric lightly. He was hyperventilating and he couldn't stop. He wanted it all to stop.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt entered the second floor of the apartment complex, then made for the stairs. He dashed up to them, taking them two at a time. He turned around the landings, not falling but nearly falling until he finally reached the fourth floor. Geralt shoved open the door from the stairs and burst into the hallway. Wanting to be fast but not run, due to other tenants, he speed-walked, some steps being a jog, to Jaskier's door.

It was locked, and since he didn't have a key, he had to hope the man would answer. Geralt knocked once, twice, and then waited. When he got no response, he furrowed his brow and have two knocks again, this time louder.

"Jaskier?" He called, staring at the door in concern. He slung his bag off and set it down on the floor beside him, placing his pouch atop it. He shouldn't have left, he knew he shouldn't have.


	2. Stitches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: panic attack/mental break down, blood

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier's mind was blank but full all at once. Screams were heard from him, he couldn't tell who's they were, he couldn't even click that the screams and sobs combined were from his breathing patterns. He was dry gagging, having nothing left in his stomach as his breathing quickened again, having periods of hyperventilating and forgetting to breathe at all. He wanted it to end. The screams, the sobbing, the pain that wrecked him all over his body and in his mind.   
  
He looked around. Something, anything. The counter, the door. Geralt. Who. He couldn't comprehend names at the moment but he knew he had to get up. He tried to stand up, shakily a few times his legs gave out from under him, the third time he landed on the ground, smacking his head on the corner of the counter, blood dripped it's way rather fast down his face but he couldn't feel it, he didn't even notice the pain.   
  
He gave up, screaming until he felt no air left in his lungs as a small teaspoon or such of vomit crawled up his throat, he inhaled and choked on hit lightly, he could breathe fine but it forced him into a coughing wheezing fit as his breathing was uneven and fucked. He wasn't even focusing on what had happened or what was happening. All he could feel was overwhelmed and underwhelmed all at once.  
  


_Geralt POV_  
Geralt pounded his fist against the door as he heard what sounded like gasping then the smack of a body against stone. "Jaskier!" He called again, putting more volume and force into his voice this time. He banged on the door once more for good measure, then sighed and turned away, scanning the hall for something he could do to help. He crouched down and began rifling through his bag.   
  
He took out what looked like a wallet of black leather and opened it, revealing lockpicks tucked into the sides. He stood back up and took to the lock, prodding it first with his fingers then with a straight, unchanged lockpick that was worn. He stuck it into the lock, wiggling it around enough to get a feel for what picks he'd need. Removing the straight lockpick, he slid it back into the booklet and removed two new ones. Maneuvering them around in the lock, he waited for the telltale click. It didn't come. He growled and knocked angrily again.   
  
"Jaskier!" Geralt then returned to his attempt to pick the door's lock. At last, it clicked open. Geralt swiftly withdrew the lockpicks, stuck them back in the booklet, stuck the booklet back in his duffel bag, zipped the damn thing (gods this was taking too long), and slung it over one shoulder. He grabbed his pouch in his other hand and burst into the apartment. He pushed the door shut with his foot behind him and dropped his gear to the floor as soon as he caught sight of Jaskier.   
  
Any unswallowed anger died in his throat and he rushed over to the man, pulling him tightly against his chest and pinning his arms to his sides. Geralt held him close, resting his head on Jaskier's shoulder and murmuring nothings over and over, trying to ground him.

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier didn't even notice the noises or the sounds around him. He only noticed someone was there when he felt a solid chest. A solid chest? Jaskier's breathing calmed down slightly, someone else was here before it clicked someone else was here. He thrashes slightly before he realized the hands, they were large. They weren't like the smaller ones that had pinned him down.   
  
His eyes, wild and teary, and confused looked up at who was holding him. Who was he? Those eyes, Geralt. Jaskier breath hitched in his voice as he recognized it as Geralt. He felt Geralt's heart rate on his own thudding chest. The feeling in itself instantly calming him down. He could hear again slightly. Someone was talking, Geralt was talking to him. It was gentle, he wasn't angry. Jaskier's fear dimmed away slowly as he clung to Geralt and cried in a much more rhythmic way compared to beforehand. He sniffed as he sobbed, wrapping his arms slowly up and around Geralt and hugged him tightly with his arms and hands still shaking.   
  
After around an hour, Jaskier had calmed down. Throat raw with silent tears dripping down his face and the occasional hiccup. He had stopped crying. He didn't want to move through. His arms slacked lightly as they loosely were wrapped around the larger man until Jaskier felt his hands were sticky. He moved his hand to his side and looked at it before his gaze shifted to himself. Oh god, he was covered in vomit. And it stunk. He grimaced slightly at the feel and look of himself before he moved back to hugging Geralt who he knew, was probably also covered in it.   
  
The poor man honestly, he shouldn't have to deal with Jaskiers crap. Jaskier sighed and nuzzled into Geralt's neck lightly. He took a deep breath out, his cheeks were red from embarrassment as he felt a knot tighten in his stomach. "I'm sorry," he muttered quietly, he definitely meant it, you could hear that clear as day, but the voice was quiet and horse, unlike his usual voice.

_Geralt POV_  
Geralt held Jaskier as he sobbed, murmuring over and over to the man. Sometimes it was "Jaskier", sometimes, the times when the man sobbed so hard Geralt wasn't sure he was breathing, it was "breathe." Sometimes both. He didn't register any of what he was saying, he just knew that this was a man who was breaking, and it was both his duty and his desire to comfort him. Yes, Jaskier was his client, but even if he had been a stranger, Geralt would have acted the same way.   
  
Perhaps he wouldn't have broken into his apartment, but he would have sought help then done his best to comfort the soul going through this. When at last he felt Jaskier calm and still, he let himself breathe half a sigh of relief. Only half. He wasn't a superstitious man, not by a long shot, but he saw no harm in not tempting the Fates to twist things. Then Jaskier had the gall to mutter a quiet, "I'm sorry," against Geralt's neck. As if he was the one who needed to apologize. Geralt drew back just enough to see Jaskier's face. Was the other man blushing? Geralt chalked it up to embarrassment and moved on from that train of thought.  
  
"You have nothing to apologize for," Geralt murmured in return. "I should have gotten in here sooner." He would have to ask for a key some time very soon. But right now, they were both covered in vomit, alongside tears and mucus. He stroked Jaskier's back with one hand, keeping him close another minute before he spoke again.  
  
"We should bathe and change." Simple things. Keep it simple, keep it direct, and see Jaskier through this. That Geralt could do. He kept stroking Jaskier's back, watching the man's eyes and face to see how he felt.

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier went to wipe his face before remembering his hands were covered in vomit and sighed a little, dropping his hands down before smiling a little sheepishly at Geralt. He lifted his head so his eyes met Geralts as he nodded, a face of happiness on him again. It seems to be a face he wore rather than felt.  
  
"You did nothing wrong Geralt. Thank you," he said with a bit of a more genuine smile, he would pat him or something but his hands were coated and he was sitting in his own pile, he used his sleeve to wipe his mouth to ensure there was no vomit on his lips. He moved forwards and gently placed his lips just under Geralts pale cheekbone. A light blush stain in the sharp of his lips stayed there fro his lipstick that was left on, a gentle kiss in thanks due to not really being able to do anything else.   
  
"A bath sounds lovely. You go first and I'll clean up my mess. Do you have spare clothes? Also, you don't need to wear work clothes unless we are at formal events and such." he said, starting to go back to his talkative self. "ah and I was going to have vegetable soup tonight although you look like a man who likes his meat. Would you prefer something else?" he asked, offering to cook something else in case the man felt like it.   
  
Seeming he just dealt with Jaskier as a complete fucking mess, it is the least he could do for him. He leaned into Geralt touch on his back lightly and blushed properly this time before leaning forwards.   
  
"I um, find comfort in physical touch. The heartbeat and yours is slow so I like it. I won't touch you or anything if you are not comfortable with it though. So no need to worry." His eyes were a little hopeful, the black from his eyeliner had smudged through tears and blinking even though it was waterproof.

_Geralt POV_  
"I'm a vegetarian," Geralt said, grasping for straws. He so rarely let himself get this disarmed, the last time was- no. He wasn't on that assignment anymore. He could worry for and about her, he could check in with her, he could ask Yennefer to keep an eye on her, but he had a new mission now.   
  
"So you don't need to cook something new." Jaskier was a fan of physical touch? That Geralt could work with. And the man was trying to look after him, despite Geralt only being there to protect him, and only under orders and for pay. He had had a client once who truly embodied the idea that a bodyguard was exactly that- a bodyguard, and nothing else. He had been a shadow to the man. This was... newer.   
  
He didn't mind. If he played his cards right, becoming closer to Jaskier could make it easier for both of them. "I don't mind your touch," he said gently, knowing the man would likely want verbal acknowledgment and consent of the fact. He let his arms relax and slip entirely from Jaskier, taking a step back.   
  
He touched the bloodied side of the man's head and frowned, fingertips coming away with blood on them. "Where's the bathroom?" He asked. Might as well start on getting cleaned up. If Jaskier felt he should go first, then he would go first.

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier smiled widely, he was vegetarian. That would make his life so much easier due to the fact Jaskier avoided meat if he could. "Any vegetables that you don't like? So you like Spinich as well?" he asked, he wanted to make sure he could repay the man as much as possible.  
  
He smiled at Geralt once he was given the verbal consent, it helped him a lot with having an idea of what he could and couldn't do as a form of comfort for when he needed it.  
  
Ah just walk down the small hall, it's to the left. My bedroom it straight and your bedroom is the right." he explained with a smile. "if you need anything please just let me know love." he said as he stood up, a little bit wobbly but he was alright. He moved around the kitchen, grabbing some sponges and so forth from out of the cupboard and filled the bucket with a bit of water and disinfectant soap.   
  
He wouldn't allow mess. Not this type of mess either. He quickly grabbed the sponge before he looked down at himself. Oh gods, he only realized not that the inside of his pants felt wet too. Thank god it only got the fabric and not the ground.   
  
God, Geralt must be a thing of some interesting stuff right now. He couldn't change what happened though. He crouched down as it was the easier way to clean the floor without getting what was on him on the floor as well. He scrubbed away and even when it was clean, he kept scrubbing it until Geralt was ready to come out. He wanted it clean.

_Geralt POV_  
"I'll eat it all, even rhubarb." He chuckled internally to himself. He had had a strong dislike for rhubarb as a child but was now over such things. Once Jaskier started moving, Geralt did as well.  
  
His hands were still fairly clean, but he didn't want to go through his duffel bag. So he wiped his hands as best he could on his trousers and picked up his bag and pouch. The bodyguard proceeded down the hall, shifting his pouch to his left hand to open the door to the bathroom.  
  
It was small, and simple, but elegant nonetheless. The room was a small box. Along the right wall, the edge a handful of centimeters from the door frame was a tub-shower combination. It stretched from the wall to the other, the showerhead on the wall opposite Geralt. Also directly opposite Geralt was the toilet, on top of which he set his bag. Along the wall to his left, blocking the door from opening past 90°, was a floor-to-ceiling cabinet, then touching that was a sink, the kind with storage space beneath it. A mirror hung above the sink. Between the sink and toilet was maybe half a meter of empty space. The floor was tiled, but there was a rug over it.  
  
The first thing Geralt did was go through the cabinets, searching for razors or honestly, anything sharp. He found a handle and a few blades and took a rubber band to tie it all together. He stuck the bundle in a Ziploc bag and wrapped it carefully in a cloth, knotting the ends of the cloth together loosely but firmly. He stuck the parcel in an outside pocket of his duffel bag and braced his hands on the counter, exhaling. It was just a precaution.   
  
If Jaskier needed to shave or got upset, Geralt would give them back. But he didn't want to find the man with slit wrists one morning since Geralt had done nothing to prevent it. That done, Geralt pulled the shower curtain closed. He checked the window centered on the wall opposite the door, making sure it was both closed and covered. That done, he locked the bathroom door. He washed his hands once more, scraping the last traces of vomit and such off.   
  
Geralt them unzippered the main pocket of his duffel bag. Inside the black fabric was, on one end, carefully stacked books. He's had his clothes neatly stacked in the middle. On the right side was various little items, among them his lockpick booklet and toiletries pouch. Lining the lengthwise sides was various weapons and tools for his job. Of course, everything had gotten a bit shaken around, but it was still roughly organized. Taking out a clean pair of clothes, Geralt set them aside and sighed again, stepping into the tub to try and figure out Jaskier's shower.

_J_ _ulian POV_  
Jaskier's facial expression honestly said it all as he went ahead and cleaned the floor. His face was screwed up slightly, a frown between his brows, and his nose was scrunched up. God his pants felt disgusting and there was no way in hell we were going to start cooking while wearing this.   
  
He gently scrubbed the sides of the walls and along the floor, using the sponge as a form of mop for the liquids on the floor. He dunked it back into the water and even when it looked clean he'd go to the kitchen sink, pour out the dirty water and redo it all over again until the sponge and water ran clear of any dirt at all.  
  
He sighed as he turned on the tap and scrubbed his hands clean, he even used the sponge because he couldn't cope with bodily liquids on his skin, it was hard enough to be covered in what he was.  
  
Honestly, the kitchen had a nice setup. Jaskier particularly enjoyed the dishwasher being tucked in not too far away from it under a counter, he thought it was smart. There were cupboards and cupboards and honestly they all looked pretty much the same so it was going to be a bit interesting to see how fast it takes before Geralt gets used to which cupboard is what. Even Jaskier fucks it up still.

_Geralt POV_  
Geralt had had to use enough different showers by now that he was fairly confident using a stranger's. They all were similar enough, once you got down to it. Handle. Buttons. Water. Hot and cold. But each one did take some getting used to. And if he was going to be living here for the next month (at least, his contract might get extended), then he might as well learn this system now.  
  
Geralt stepped back out of the tub once he decided to start trying to turn the water on. Dirty as his clothing might be right now, he would much rather not be hit in the face with a stream of water. He tugged the lever, which was pointed towards the floor, up. Water trickled, stopped, made a choking noise, then began to fall in earnest. Geralt looked down to see if the drain was open, and it was.   
  
That settled, he had seen a band of color beside the handle, blue at the bottom and red at the top. Assuming it meant water temperature, he adjusted it to just below the middle of the spectrum. He took another step back on the rug and tugged the shower curtain closed. Now- a towel. He had seen them in the cabinet. He opened it and took one out. It was a medium turquoise, plain in color but fluffy in feel. Geralt grunted his assent and set it down on his clothing, which was piled on the rug.

Geralt reached up and undid the leather cord that was holding his hair up. He set it on the sink counter. He then unlaced the top of his shirt and pulled it over his head, dropping it between the sink and toilet. His boots followed next, then his trousers and undergarments. By that time the water was at a temperature he liked, so he stepped into the shower, making sure the curtain was pulled shut.  
  
Geralt took the bar of soap from the rack. To his utter surprise, Jaskier had a whole assortment of hair products and body washes. That wasn't even mentioning the clutter of lotion bottles by the sink. Geralt had been a tad bit surprised he could actually find a normal bar of soap among it all. He decided he wouldn't be touching any of the hair products, not yet. For now, water would work fine.  
  
He scrubbed himself quickly, running his fingers through his hair a bit more vigorously than normal. Satisfied, he cleaned the dirt from under his fingernails and turned off the water. Geralt yanked back the shower curtain and stepped out into the rug, dripping. He picked up the towel and rubbed himself dry, pulling his clean set of clothes on. He opted to go barefoot, this was someone's home after all, and his boots were not the cleanest even on a good day.   
  
Geralt wrapped the towel around his shoulders and looped his cord around his wrist, folding it in half and making a knot. He zipped his duffel bag, stashing his pouch inside it. He felt the pocket where he had stashed the razors and razor blades just to check. They were still there. He slung the bag down his arm so it rested in the crook of his elbow and unlocked the bathroom door. Geralt padded out into the main room where Jaskier was. He took in the now-spotless kitchen and gave the man a half-smile, which turned apologetic.  
"I didn't know where you wanted me to set my clothes."

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier looked up from where he was thinking, he was basically just leaning against the bench, a tea towel place over there his back touched the counter in case he accidentally touched it with his lovely clothing right now. He looked up at the sound of Geralt coming out and saw the half-smile he was given and smiled back widely.   
  
"Oh! Oh no need to worry, I'll throw them in with mine and press them afterward when I do my lot. There is a shared type of laundry mat for people who reside here, it's just down the street seeming it's the morning we can go there if you'd like. Most people do theirs at night due to working or schooling or whatever." he explained with a smile as he grabbed a plastic bag from the kitchen draw and held it open so he could place his clothing in it. Afterward, he tied up the bag and placed it on the floor in the hallway just outside the bathroom before grabbing himself another bag.   
  
" Well, I'm going to get cleaned up. Make yourself at home, I usually make a large pot of soup and eat it for the whole day, breakfast morning, and lunch. Unless there is anything different you wanted at all? I do have some homemade pumpkin seed bread that I did yesterday. I uh, bake at night if I can't sleep. I'm usually quiet when doing it. You don't have to stay up at nights with me if you don't want to." he explained as he pointed to the bathroom.   
  
"Make yourself at home while I just," he said before he walked into the bathroom and shut the door, not in the habit of locking it. Luckily he had already shaved this morning and hadn't even realized that there were none of his shavers around. He peeled off his clothes slowly and placed them inside of the bag he brings with him into the bathroom. He groaned a little bit as he felt his head pulse slightly. He'd need to get Geralt to have a look at his head, he was never any good at doing it himself if he got injured in any sort of way actually.   
  
He sighed lightly before backing away from the mirror and he turned the shower on, allowing it to heat up as he grabbed his toothbrush which was bright orange and the golden tubed toothpaste, putting a decent amount of it on it and brushing his teeth. He kept brushing and brushing until he could taste metallic and spat it out into the sink, splodges of blood from scrubbing at his gums too hard in it. He turned on the tap, letting it wash away and cleaned his brush before popping it to the side. He must get a second cup for Geralt, his one had his tube of toothpaste and his brush in a concrete cup scalped with a bird face on the front.   
  
Seeming as Geralt worked for wolf Corp, a wolf would only be the best option. He hummed and nodded as he agreed in his head, he'd have to do that at some point. Geralt probably wouldn't need it but Jaskier felt like it would be something nice to do for him. He quickly tested out the shower temperature and chuckled lightly as he saw that the plain soap had been used. Take Geralt to be a simple man. Jaskier's gaze moved over the different ones he had... He felt like a green apple kind of day. He grabbed it and quickly lathered it up, washing his body head to toe. He wasn't allowed to use a cloth due to the fact it triggers memories of the aftermath.   
  
  
_Geralt POV_  
Geralt set his duffel bag down by the door and took a seat on the couch, the hallway to his right and behind him. He left his hair gathered on his shoulders. It was dripping, but he would rather it get him and his shirt wet than the floor. Jaskier had mentioned eating, but Geralt would rather wait. He had never had a large appetite, to begin with, and years of training had only served to eventually diminish it. He had been hungry during those years, though. With little else to do, he pulled his legs up onto the couch so that he was sitting cross-legged, and straightened his posture. He rested his hands on his knees and let his mind wander.  
  
Geralt was back to his first day of training for the Corps. Eskel was there, as was Vesemir, though he was their instructor. His mother had left him. He had traveled a week and had been living at the School of the Wolf, Kaer Morhen, for three. And yet here he was, standing at attention with all the rest, a shaking twelve-year-old who didn't know the names of half the weapons he was to learn, let alone how to use them.  
  
But he made it through, was one of the mere 30% who graduated. He had been bruised and battered, physically and mentally, but at last, he was made a full employee of Witcher Corps and was sent out into the world.  
  
Which brought him to- no. No, keep your mind away from there, Geralt. She's gone, she's not your problem anymore, leave it. He snapped out of his relaxed state and dug his phone out of his pants, grateful he had remembered to move them and his keys to his new pair. Geralt unlocked his phone and began texting hurriedly.  
  
**Geralt of Rv.**  
Now  
_Yen. How's the Renfri situation?_

He sent the text and put his phone face down on his thigh, trying to distract himself. And it worked, for the most part. He began counting his breaths, working to make it so that each one was equally spaced. When his phone finally buzzed, he was calmer in his reply.

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier shook the thought out of his head quickly, he had thought of that already today, he didn't need it again and neither did Geralt. He put the soap down and grabbed his cinnamon shampoo and quickly shampooed his hair, enjoying the refreshing feeling of being clean again. He rinsed it out before using a makeup cleanser and took off his makeup, his freckles would now lightly be revealed, they were so faint most don't notice but he always did, as you do when it's your own face.   
  
He grabbed a towel, wiped himself down before hopping out onto the rug, noticing it was wet. So Geralt hops out then dries? Odd but cool. Just one of those random notes you make mentally. He wrapped the towel around his waist before using a smaller towel to dry most of his hair, leaving it damp and an utter mess in all directions. He picked up the bag, opening the door and popped it outside as he walked out to check on Geralt, looking around to find him. "Geralt?"

_Geralt POV_  
**Yennefer of Vg.**  
Now _  
__You're rather impatient. I'm sure Triss would know how Renfri is.  
  
_And goddammit, he knew she was vexing him on purpose. Yennefer knew how worked up he was over his sudden reassignment. Triss, the Witcher Corps receptionist and accountant, would indeed know something about Renfri, but Geralt had only been reassigned the previous night and he doubted Witcher Corps had sent a replacement yet. Nonetheless, he unlocked his phone again and sent off another text.  
  
**Geralt of Rv.**  
Now  
_Triss. I need records on Renfri. How is she?  
  
_The reply buzzed in a few minutes later.  
  
**Triss Merigold**  
Now  
_Geralt, you know I can't give you access to those records. But please, be assured that the Brotherhood and Corps are working on getting a replacement in for Renfri. Hopefully the Corps first._

 _also, I told you, E-MAIL me when I'm at work, please. If someone sees me on my phone...  
  
_Geralt growled, but he knew Triss was being serious. She wasn't going to give him anything on Renfri. The Brotherhood was a rival organization to Witcher Corps. Both Triss was an old employee of it who had eventually tired of the Brotherhood's endless policies and debates. She'd moved to the Corps instead. Geralt sent the third text, not expecting a reply.  
  
**Geralt of Rv.**  
Now  
_Hey Renfri_  
_How are you?  
  
_He turned his phone off and settled back into the couch to wait for Jaskier.

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier walked out into the living room, the towel snug around his waist. He was slim and lean but he definitely had light muscles and great toning to his body. He had a lightly hairy chest, unkempt but smooth looking that trailed down and a line to the towel line. His hair was everywhere, fluffy and looking like a sea urchin.  
  
He walked into the living room and smiled when he saw Geralt was on the couch and moved so he was in view of the bodyguard. His new scent filled the room and it was a pleasant change from that of sticky hot stinking vomit.   
  
"Geralt? Oh, there you are. I just wanted to check how you were. Are you comfortable? Do you need anything? If you're a gamer then in my studio there is a computer, it's got a great CPU and everything. So if you want you can do that while I'm composing or you can come in and listen but when I'm in there I don't eat or drink and because there are no windows I lose track of time. " he warned him lightly with a grin plastered on his face.  
  
Honestly to him, it was a pleasant surprise with how relaxed Geralt was. He wasn't fully relaxed, he knew that much but he didn't have his mind going at ten thousand hours a minute without being able to control it.  
  


_Geralt POV_  
"Hm," Geralt said, looking up at Jaskier. He was careful to keep his eyes riveted on the man's face. "I will be helping to change the lack of self-care your show. If you would like." He had seen clients come and go, and there the bright, loud, in-control ones, yes, but there had also been the kind, broken ones who needed someone to lean on and to guard them when their nightmares became real.   
  
Geralt got the feeling he knew which category Jaskier would fall under. It was that group that he had always wanted to help and to calm. Some had listened, but he knew they stopped the moment he walked out the door for the last time. Some tried but never made it. Others had clung or given up completely. But he had learned to make this offer, and even if it was rejected, to begin gently nudging his client towards a better path. Sometimes it took, sometimes it got him fired.   
  
Someone, probably Vesemir, had at one point told him that he couldn't protect each client. That was something to build off of and grow from. Someone else, probably Yennefer, had told him he cared too much about his clients. Triss had once asked him, when he'd been newer to the job but had been asked to fill a senior Witcher(so they were called)'s shoes if that was all life was to him. Monsters and money.   
  
He had told it was all it needed to be. Monsters had meant the people he clients hired him to ward off. He had changed that answer over the years, and he suspected that Triss knew, but she never said a word. He knew Yennefer, or whoever had told him he cared too much and tried too hard, was right. This was just a job. He was to go in, be a bodyguard, and go out. Nothing more.   
  
"I do some gaming," Geralt found himself replying. He offered up his earlier reasoning to himself. He would be living here a month, at least. Jaskier seemed extroverted and in need of someone to talk to. And he might find that befriending the man-made the job that much easier. Geralt focused back on Jaskier, not on his internal dilemma.   
  
The man was still standing there, in a towel with his hair a mess. Completely at ease with a stranger in his home. With... Geralt. The bodyguard was a bit surprised but took it. He nodded towards the towel. "Tell me, are you wearing anything under that?" It seemed rude to pry, but he felt he'd ask. After all, should the towel drop, he would rather know to look away beforehand.

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier smiled a little bit and nodded "sure thing love." he said as he took up Geralt on his offer with a light chuckle, he was right. He really didn't want to deal with taking care of himself. He just wanted to love and help others.   
  
That's what he thought he was put on this earth to do, to help, to heal. And a lot of the times he forgot about himself. He watched Geralt, seeing as he was thinking in his head about something which seemed to be important. He chuckled lightly as he saw the slight concentration on the man's face. He smiled as he put his hands on his hips and hummed as he tilted his head a little bit.   
  
"I'm a little bit of a gamer as well, I have a couple of games I play for free time but most the time I'm composing," he explained with a chuckle before he paused. Did he just hear him right? "I uh, no I am not," he replied, his face heating up a little bit and he seemed to slightly shrink under Geralt's gaze.   
  
"I should probably go ahead and put on some clothing. If it makes you uncomfortable I won't come out like this again if you find it... Displeasing." he said with his face heating up even more with his eyes seeming bluer in contrast with his cheeks. "I need to put clothing on anyways, tell me Geralt, what's your favorite color, aside from black white or silver" he chuckled lightly.

_Geralt POV_  
Geralt shrugged, shaking his head. "I'm not bothered by it. This is your home. Dress as you please." He would, admittedly, feel horrible if he began to dictate Jaskier's life. He was a hired guard, not an advisor or therapist. He hated therapists. Yennefer had once made him go to group, and then to couples, therapy.   
  
He had been gritting his teeth through every moment of it. Geralt ignored Jaskier's blush. Of course, the man would be embarrassed. Geralt had called him out in his own home, which he himself was a guest in. Perhaps the bodyguard should be the embarrassed one.   
  
"Grey, then," Geralt said, smirking. He knew the color was similar to silver, and within the palette, Jaskier had said not to choose from. But the man hadn't explicitly said no grey. Then he huffed good-naturedly. Having had his fun, Geralt amended his answer.   
  
"Dark red," he said, more serious this time. Like the color of old blood, or the inner petals of poppies. Geralt rose to his feet, having caught sight of the gash on Jaskier's head. He hovered a hand near it. "This is recent. The counter?" That would explain the crash and sound of impact he had heard, and why the man hadn't had it when Geralt left but had when he returned.  
  


_Julian POV_  
Jaskier raised an eyebrow and chuckled lightly, oh gods, of course, he would say grey. Jaskier rolled his eyes and was about to say something before Geralt spoke up again. Dark red. Interesting color. Jaskier smiled and nodded.   
  
"Dark red it is, a gorgeous color too if I may add, especially if it's from a bottle of wine or a thick matt like dried blood." he rambled on lightly and waved his hands in the air lightly in hand gesture, making a tacky look with his hand when discussing dried blood. He looked down for a moment at the ground before hearing the sound of shifting. His eyes moved upwards as he saw Geralt come towards him and he couldn't help but blush slightly.   
  
Although physical contact is his comfort, he never actually had shared physical contact with people well. He always got embarrassed or flustered, a habit from when he was a kid, not from being a sexually excited teenager. Jaskier frowned a bit before he looked to Geralt and saw his hand reach up. When did he do that? He blinked a couple of times before he remembered.   
  
"ah yes, I tried to stand up for a... Not so pleasant reason and ending up falling down, smacking my head on the counter. I wondered why I felt it sting slightly in the shower, I thought maybe it was just mainly a headache." he admitted lightly. He had organic brands of shampoo and soaps, preferring to help nature out as much as possible. He looked at Geralt with a small smile on his face.   
  
His eyes truly were a beautiful color, he was quite fascinated by them. We're they contacts or natural-born? It would be interesting to find out. He didn't look like he had contacts in.  
  
"Is it bad? Would you be able to tend to it if it is?" he asked. He was utterly horrible at patching up and remembered looking in the mirror and thinking he should ask Geralt to do it. How had he forgotten that? Maybe he hit his head harder than he realized.  
  
The gash was relatively deep and long. The corner of the counters wasn't actually filed down or rounded, they were sharp.

_Geralt POV_  
Geralt brushed Jaskier's hair away from the gash with his fingers holding it away with one hand. With the other, he hovered a finger along the length of the cut. "You'll need stitches," he said after a few quiet minutes of observing.   
  
"I can do them. Or a hospital can if you wish." Medical training, both for oneself and others, had been a required skill for graduation. Geralt was adequate. There were others who were better, he remembered there had been this one young man who'd started training, only to realize it wasn't his calling. He went on to become a doctor.   
  
He'd been a few years behind Geralt, but the white-haired man had heard other recruits talking about the man who had quit. Geralt looked towards the counters. They didn't look smoothed down. He bit back a sigh. This was Jaskier's apartment and Jaskier's way of living. It was not Geralt's place to say something, nor was it his way to point out the obvious. He let go of Jaskier's hair, letting it flop back over the gash.   
  
He walked over to the sink, opening a few drawers at random until he found one that held dishcloths. He took a rag and wet it, then wrung out the excess water, and returned to Jaskier. "Hold still," Geralt warned, gripping the other side of Jaskier's head this time so he couldn't flinch away. He held the cloth in his right hand, his left arm going by the other man's chin.   
  
Geralt dabbed at the wound, lightly at first, just trying to break up the old blood there. He began wiping in earnest, keeping his touches gentle but firm, once fresh blood began welling up in the cut.

_Julian POV_  
Jaskier nodded as he looked to Geralt moving "Well, I'd rather have you do them honestly" he admitted before watching the man come back over to him with a cloth. His face grew hot, not that it wasn't already, but this time on Geralt's hand it probably felt very warm. He neck and head.  
  
He swallowed as he watched the man focus on his wound on his head. Hissing lightly and flinching at the first dab before muttering a sorry and tried to stay as still as possible. It stung, rather badly. The first thing he does when something on his head feels uncomfortable is his eyes tear up. He blinked a couple of times, feeling the moisture in his eyes all of a sudden, the glassiness of them made the blue in his eyes pop.

"Thank you for doing this Geralt, I appreciate it," he said as he was trying his best not to flinch away from it. He was surprisingly gently for having such large hands and an on the run job although he could see how that man gained that trait from his own personality. He was a gentle person, anyone could really see that if they bothered to look.

"Have you always been this gentle?" he asked. Maybe his girlfriend or someone changed him, maybe the job changed him. But Jaskier was curious. He was about to continue his question before he sneezed, a shove going over his body as he sniffled lightly "ah sorry." he said before he sneezed again. His skin had goosebumps starting to raise over them as he tensed slightly from the chill.

He was cold, there was no denying that. He thought it would be 'pop out and get dressed' whereas now they were in the living room, one of them nearly naked and the other tending to a wound.

  
_Geralt POV_

"Hmm," Geralt said again, but he sounded touched. Jaskier's face was warmer under his hands this time, but he kept his fingers to the sides of the man's head as best he could, touching hair not skin. After he paused to let Jaskier sneeze the second time, he began answering his questions.   
  
"As far as I know." He remembered less from his childhood than he would have liked, but he did remember always wanting to help others, make them proud of him. His own mother, Visenna, had often been the target of his deeds. He remembered how many times he had tried to make a promise he surely couldn't keep to her, only to have e her smile down at him and gently tell him off. She had reminded him to 'live and let live.' After she had abandoned him to Vesemir, he had tried to toss the words away, but after some time, he grew to follow them again.

Of course, his training as a bodyguard had helped him as well. He was cold and withdrawn. He would not call himself unfeeling, though he knew his emotions were more repressed than other people's. But Geralt still very much felt, and he disliked seeing pain. I had always disliked seeing it, no matter what form it took.

Geralt paused again as he saw Jaskier's shivering. He lowered the now-bloody cloth from the man's head, letting his other arm drop as well. "You'll be fine. Go dress, then I'll sew it up." He walked back towards the sink, careful to keep a neutral speed and expression. Most of his clients would have been furious if he had said something like that unless in a dire situation.   
  
But unless Geralt had read Jaskier completely wrong, he might be in need of some direction and control. The way he had readily agreed to Geralt's offer of helping him get on a healthier schedule while composing had tipped him off.


	3. palms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: injury, applying stitches onscreen

_Julian POV_

Jaskier let him do what he needed, not wanting to rush the man on the deed he was kindly doing for him. He smiled at Geralt's reply. Its good to have someone good-natured around, even if most people didn't see bodyguards like that. He listened to Geralt's advice, it sounded more like a suggestion and Jaskier was comfortable with saying no to Geralt if needed due to the fact of how calm the man was and how kind he was.

He nodded after watching the man walk to the sink, a small smile on his face before he moved as well, going towards his room at the end, he closed his door over a little bit before turning to his room.

His room was simple, extremely simple actually. He had a bookcase, pure wood, and carved to have a diamond-like pattern in it standing tall to the right of him, the light switch for the room a little closer to the doorframe. His bed, Queen-sized with blue dandelion patterned sheets neatly folded and tucked into the corners.

It seemed kind of childish to outside eyes, Jaskier had always thought but he had a night lamp which when you turned it on it had all the stars in the universe. It linked up with an app on his phone, you could alter it and see star signs, could see what the stars looked like up close, what they looked like in Italy to what they looked like in Australia. It was quite exciting really. It was the one thing his mother gave him as he walked away from the house. His family, yes they were filthy rich. But were they his family? No, not really. They refused to have a son who wanted to do music, mainly his father refused due to the fact his last name gave away that he was son to one of the most famous and well-known families in Britain. The good part was, he was in America now so he didn't have to deal with any of it.

The starry night lamp sat on a small side table, simple and relaxed. Honestly, his dream was to pursue musical theatre but he didn't have the qualifications nor did he believe he could actually manage it.

In front of a camera, sure but in front of people? Oh no no that was definitely not an area he wanted to get into. He had terrible stage fright and is jumpy just from going in a place where one person out of 20 is aggravated. It's the main reason he doesn't eat outside or do anything of that sort. He gas managed to become a popular artist on YouTube and Spotify, Instagram, Facebook, many many different social platforms and had a manager but that was really as far as he had gotten so far.

He sighed before smiling widely. Right. Dark red, he had many different shades of dark red but velvet blood like a colored shirt would go nicely.

He quickly grabbed some underwear from on the bottom of his closet and slid them on. He took out a pair of black leather pants that were lace-up, pulling them up and not tying them just yet. He pulled out two options.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt had returned to his phone during the wait. Renfri had yet to respond to his texts, but then again, he had just sent them. They had seen each other the previous day. She was fine, Geralt told himself. The Corps would get a replacement bodyguard to her within a few days. Renfri could hold her own until then.

After a few minutes, Geralt set his phone aside on the couch and rose to his feet. He stretched, then turned to frown towards the hallway. Was the wannabe playboy-rockstar the mind of a person who took half an hour to get dressed? Geralt had no problem with that, but he himself didn't understand it.

Geralt walked around the end of the couch, walking behind it now. He went over to the door to the apartment, where he had set his duffel bag. He unzipped the main pocket and took out a book. He had packed a small stack of them, and surely Jaskier had more, plus there was always the public library. The one he had taken out was from the top of the stack. It was a hard cover copy, no jacket. The book was black, with white lettering on front. He had read it several times before but had only recently purchased a copy. Before that, he had mostly borrowed from the company library.

Geralt returned to the couch, taking his previous position. He took the towel off his shoulders and set it on the back of the couch, pushing his hair onto that. He settled himself and cracked open the book. It was called 'The Tree in the Orange Grove,' and was a thriller novel. There was a romance side to it as well.

He started from the forward, which on another occasion he might have skipped, but today he didn't. Maybe it just felt better to read it.

  
_Julian POV_  
  
The first a deep red shirt with stiff material, it as a collar that went upwards instead of downwards, no patterns but pockets only. He remembered buying it for a few Instagram lives he did.

The second was a flowy shirt, almost like a medieval texture. It had no collar but was neatly folded back and sewn to create a loose and off the shoulder nearly look. It had a lace-up at the front, designed to be an open shirt to show off one's chest. Its sleeves went to the ends, turning into a relaxed cuff that was doubled over and sewn nicely, a small black button and the end to do it up. The front at the bottom of the shirt was still together but around an inch, under his sternum, it opened up. He nodded and decided to go with that one. He put it on and lightly before tidying it up. It revealed his collar bones and contrasted deliciously with the deep brown hair on his chest. He smiled widely as he moved to his side table and opened up the small draw where he kept his jewelry. He was feeling a bit fancy today. He took out a black collar, one made of silk-like fabric, a black strip, thick for a choker bow days but not overly thick.

He placed it around his neck before moving into the bathroom, opening the cabinet from below the sink and pulling out a makeup bag. He lightly applied a thin layer of matt foundation, using eyeliner to outline his eyes and, well, he naturally had long eyelashes but he felt a bit extra. He used a mascara that looked natural, lightly contouring his the hollows of his cheeks and highlighting his cheekbones, a slight golden shimmer to contrast with the deep red. He tucked in his shirt into his pants, typing them up and lightly pulling out his shirt so it bagged lightly. He pulled out a plum lipstick, it was literally made from plums, smelt of it, and tasted like it. He licked his lips and hummed lightly, he only applied a thin layer so it looked like a tint. After a small amount of a matt brown smokey eye being applied, he quickly went to put the product in his hair before waiting. 

He has to ask Geralt if it was safe. And had to get stitched up first. He opened the cupboard again, pulling out a small red box and opened it, his mother's ring, and a couple of different rings from fans. His mother's ring was her wedding ring. She gave it to him and told his father that she had lost it which resulted in a beating which nearly killed her, but he paid for a new one. The exact same. 

It was a gold band with three wish dandelions along with it, its how he chose his name to be Jaskier. After all, his mother was Polish. He sighed lightly and took a moment to smile at it before sliding it on his right-hand ring finger, a silver banded ring with a citrine stone in it on. And a star Ruby stone with a silver band on his left ring finger. He slid on silver gold and rose gold bracelets in his right wrists and smiled. Done. He was ready for the day, apart from his hair. He thought for a moment, about the soup.

Geralt didn't seem too interested in eating it during the day and he only suggested that because he thought he might eat like a normal person but it seems like they both have bad eating habits. He erased the thought from his mind. Hell just make some for dinner that's all.

He rushed out of the room and to the living room where Geralt was, it had been roughly around 15 to 20 minutes for him to get ready.

"Sorry for the wait love. When I get dressed, I have to get ready completely otherwise it just loses its charm." he said with a light chuckle with a bottle of hair product, a type of wax in his hands "also I don't know if I can use this with my hair." he said with a chuckle to make sure.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt had finished most of the first chapter when he heard the sound of bare feet on a floor. He looked up, seeing Jaskier. He had done a bit more than getting dressed, clearly. Geralt wasn't one to judge, he just didn't agree with fashion. In general. Simple and practical were the only things he needed his clothes to be.

Jaskier had said there was no need for him to wear work clothes, but Geralt only ever wore the same thing. He had three sets of it, plus his armor for when he was on active bodyguard duty, particularly outside or at an event. But even then, he still wore the same clothing underneath it.

Geralt closed his book and set it aside, front cover up but the writing upside down to Jaskier.

"Wait," he said, addressing only the man's last statement. He rose to his feet, carefully taking the wax and setting it aside. He examined the gash again, which was still bleeding. It was a light trickle, and only in two spots, but it was still blood. "You sure you want me?" Jaskier had said he wanted Geralt to do the stitches, but Geralt wanted to confirm it one more time.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled when he saw Geralt having to set a book to the side and come towards him. He wasn't all too worried about his head honestly, it would just have to do its thing he would've originally thought if Geralt wasn't around. He probably would've left it and had some sort of issue happen with it.

Jaskier nodded in response to the question. "Yeah, I don't really like hospitals Geralt, not after having to go to one after the incident," he explained à little bit.

He remembers it relatively well considering the condition that he was in. He was horrified, shaken, in a gown on the hospital bed and he remembered the feeling of not understanding of he was supposed to smile, cry, ignore everything, or accept it. He honestly had done a little bit of both he reckoned.

He snapped out of those thoughts and smiled widely at Geralt "What were you reading?" he asked, interested to see what types of books he read as he may have read the same ones as Jaskier, though Jaskier doubted it due to the fact he was mainly romance with a side of horror or detective work. He was in the middle of a book himself, he had to find some sort of way to kill time while he lived at his manager's house. Speaking of which.

Jaskier quickly pulled out his phone, he didn't like to text much. He usually messaged her on his social media platforms. He went through messager, finding her and clicking on her.

Manager Lancey ️  
_Sent  
Home!! _

Her and Jaskier often spoke in the ways of emoji, it was something he did before he met her and Judy how he was, it was an easier way to express himself.

Jaskier quickly sent it to her before discarding his phone, slipping it back into his leather pocket. He looked to Geralt with a little bit of fascination. "Did you want to stop by the public library today? While we are out and so forth," he asked. He wanted to make sure Geralt felt as if he were home. Not just staying here.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt nodded. That much he understood. He had never been a fan of hospitals himself. They were tied too clearly to an incident from when he was a teenager. It hadn't gone well for him. Jaskier didn't need to know that.

"The book's 'The Tree in the Orange Grove.' Romance and thriller." He looked back towards it for a moment, then refocused on Jaskier. Some people would make fun of any man who read romance novels, and especially a bodyguard who did. Not that Geralt particularly cared. It wasn't their book, and him reading it did little, if anything, to harm them.

He prodded the skin around the gash one more time, checking to see if it too had gotten inflamed. The whole area was starting to swell and warm. Geralt withdrew and moved behind the couch. He walked over to his bag again and took out a zipped cloth pouch of firm fabric, shaped rather like a pencil pouch. It was dark red, with black ends and a black zipper. He returned to Jaskier with it.

"Move to the sink." Geralt could be polite, he could, but so far Jaskier hadn't seemed to mind his brusque manner that bordered on rude. He would push it. If he hit the man's boundaries, well then he knew for the next time. Geralt walked with Jaskier to the sink. He set the pouch down on the counter and turned the man by the shoulders until his back was to the sink and the gash on his head was towards Geralt. He removed his hands from Jaskier's arms to unzip the pouch. Inside was the small first-aid kit he always carried. Among other things, it contained his needles and clinical thread. He removed those and a piece of gauze.

"I don't mind going to the library," he muttered as he examined the wound and brushed Jaskier's hair away from it, wetting his hand with water from the sink to slick the hair down and keep it in position.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled a little bit wider, hearing that he enjoyed reading thriller romance books. In Jaskier's very bias opinion, he thought that romance with anything can always make a great story. It just depended on what type of romance you wanted.

Jaskier hummed and moved with Geralt, jaw slightly clenching when he saw the needles and looked to Geralt with a bit of an 'oh gods really' kind of face.

He knew that he was going to have stitches so that only made sense that there were needles involved. He just didn't click. Instead of focusing on it, he decided to try to focus on the previous subject in order to not over feel everything. A distraction.

"Romance novels are always one of the best types of novels to me. Or even ones with strong friendships in which are deep. But the true root in a book to me would be the way they work things, the author's style, the gentle flow of words, or the harshness of them. When I feel like I could be the character, then I think its a good book. The public library is a good one, it has more romance novels then London that's for sure if my memory serves me well- ouch. "

Jaskier was talking away before he felt a slight sting where the cut was. It had always been there but he just ignored it. He tried to keep smiling, but it was starting to become painfully real he was going to have a needle shoved in him.

He's mainly glad that if anyone was doing it that it was Geralt with his gentle touch.

"We should probably stop by the store, grab a few bits, and there is a key carving place a couple of shops down from there, we could go get you a key carved," he suggested with a small smile coming back onto his face.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt washed his hands as thoroughly as he could, then dried them. He took out a small tube of ointment from his pouch. He unscrewed the cap and squeezed a small amount onto one finger. With that, he traced around the wound. "That'll numb it in a few minutes." He washed the ointment off.

Geralt stroked Jaskier's hair, wetting the strands he had pushed out of the way again. He picked up the needle and began tying the thread onto it. He threaded the strand through the eye and tied two knots to secure it. Geralt touched the edge of the gash with one finger, and when Jaskier didn't react, he lifted the needle. He used his left hand to push and hold the skin together, and pressed the needle to one end.

"Don't flinch," he grunted out, and slid the needle in, down and through the skin. He pulled the thread through until maybe a finger's length was left, and started twisting and looping until he finally pulled it tight and finished the first stitch.

Concluding that Jaskier was likely talking to distract himself, Geralt joined the conversation. "You've been to London?" He had, on two separate occasions. Both had been for work. He hadn't much enjoyed his time there. He let paused. "And yes. I'll be needing a key. Should have asked when I arrived." He felt a flash of guilt at that. If he had asked then, they wouldn't be here.

Geralt tied off another two stitches as he talked. Two more, he decided, then they would be done.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier thought it was rather comforting that Geralt bothered to ensure he was numb before taking action. Jaskier started by staring at the man's chest, not wanting to really see how concentrated he was on his head. Only when Geralt asked about London did Jaskier realize he said too much and he couldn't lie to Geralt. Not when he was doing all of this for him and ensuring he was okay mentally and physically. He's a bodyguard, not a doctor and yet here they were. His eyes flickered upwards to get a look at Geralt's facial expression, seeing it flash with guilt light as he spoke about the key.

Jaskier frowned and moved his hand forwards to Geralt's side, lightly feathering his fingers over him, light enough to know he was touched but that was about all. He ensured his head didn't move while he did it. "Geralt, it wasn't your fault. I made a choice to stay here alone, how were you to know I would react like that?" he spoke softly, more gentle than even his normally soft but loud voice.

He sighed as he quickly moved off the topic, making sure to answer Geralt's question.

" Ah yes, born and raised there for the first 15 years of my life actually. I ended up well, it's easier to put it this way. My name is Julian... Pankratz. My father, well if you know the famous then you know who he is. The son that supposedly ran away. It took a few years but the media left me alone then I managed to get on a plane and made my way here. I used to work in a little coffee shop, it was nice there. Sometimes I miss it. " he confessed out loud, more to himself than Geralt.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt kept working, not letting his hands still until he had tied off and cut the last stitch. He removed the needle and his fingers, setting the former in the sink, string attached. He rinsed off his hands, trying not to turn his upper body so much that Jaskier felt the need to stop stroking his side. That finished, he recalled the tube of ointment and set it back in his pouch. Geralt then turned back to face Jaskier. He raised his still-wet hands to the man's head, examining his handiwork. Not bad. Not the prettiest, but it should hold and heal fine. That was what mattered.

It was only once he was done with the gash that Geralt addressed what Jaskier had said about London. "I'm not one to judge a man on his parents." He paused and placed one hand on Jaskier's hip. He held it there, lightly, no more forcefully than the feathery touches Jaskier gave him. It was an anchor for Jaskier, not Geralt. The former clearly thrived off a physical touch. He had opened up to Geralt, and as such, the bodyguard could try to provide any needed comfort.

"I thought you might be famous. You were rich, certainly. Rich enough to afford Viper, then Witcher Corps directly after. I didn't know your face, but I only learn the celebrities I have to." He paused again, remembering something. "I've met your father. Hard man." That had been the first time he'd been in London.

Jaskier must have been afraid, running away. It was foolish, to say the least. How could you expect to outrun your own parents, not when they had both the law and wealth on their side? But the man in front of him had, somehow. Geralt could respect that.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled a little when he finished, stretching his neck a little before letting Geralt examine his work. Jaskier didn't particularly want to see it, he didn't like looking at stitched skin, it made him want to vomit usually now that he thought about it. He napped out of his thoughts when he heard Geralt speak. He wasn't going to judge him from his past.

Jaksiers grin grew wider as he heard him say that, his heart thumping away happily from joy. He felt the hand on his hip and chuckled lightly, of course he was gentle as well, light and precise.

Jaskier let out a light chuckle "Saying he was a hard man is honestly a nice way of putting it. My mother smuggled me some money when she could, bless her soul. I don't know how she isn't dead yet from all the beatings. God's, I remember them as if they were yesterday. Belt, chair, even would get the kitchen knives or use his boots. Metal rings on his fingers. Anything he could really. I didn't exactly run away from my father. It was a half and half of being kicked out and running away. My mother helped me escape. God's I pray she's doing alright." he slightly rambled on as he said his wishes to her out loud. It was a good thing Geralt had his hand on Jaskiers hip, he needed the physical comfort. There were a lot of events in his life that he hadn't yet processed and allowed to heal within himself. He thought back to the days, remembering huddling over his mother and wrapping his arms around her to try and protect her from the kicking. It took years of oils to get rid of the scars, leaving Jaskiers skin almost perfect apart from the scars that ran up his forearms, a vertical line running right down the middle. It was faded, hell it was pretty much nearly gone. But Jaskier kept that one, the one where his father had promised to cut each nerve and tendon within it to make him never be able to play again. It was the last beating he had from the man. And the last time he saw him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt frowned and with his free hand, reached up to Jaskier's face. He touched the side that the cut wasn't on. Geralt ran his fingers lightly up and down the side of Jaskier's face, watching his eyes. The man had dropped his smile and had gone quiet. He must have been lost in thought. The bodyguard waited in silence before he decided to break it.

"Jaskier. You're in the States now. Your father isn't here." He rearranged his arms so that he had one resting on Jaskier's shoulders. Slowly but firmly, he led the man over to the couch. Mindful of his wet towel, Geralt brought them to the other half of the couch. He pushed the man down onto the couch and took the seat next to him. Geralt kept a careful distance between them, no longer touching Jaskier. If he had overstepped, he had to trust the man to tell him.

Geralt settled in to watch him, thinking. Despite his best efforts, his thoughts still turned to the woman he had been reassigned from. Geralt tried to shake it away. She'd text him back. Else Yen might. Refocusing on the present, he began speaking, hoping to calm the both of them.

"You want to hear about my first assignment?" He paused, waiting for a reply but not expecting one. After a moment, Geralt continued. "I had to guard this girl. Her father was a wanted man, he was drowning in his debt. So I had to protect his daughter. This was the first mon- man I ever fought. My first kill. Nothing to be proud of, but it can be part of the job.

"He tried to rape her. Had her clothes off and everything by the time I got there that day. I wasn't allowed to live with her to protect her," he added as an explanation. "I attacked him on her behalf. Killed him. He didn't stand a chance. I look over, and there she is, drenched the man's blood. She screamed, vomited, then passed out. Her father came running. Told me in no uncertain terms to get out." He stopped, uncertain. His voice grew softer.

"I don't know what became of her. Never had the chance to learn. I was too busy trying to keep my job, and by the time that was stable, it was too late." He fell silent, staring down at his hands, which were clenched in his lap. A murderer's hands. No matter who he tried to save, he was always the one at fault, the one no one wanted to see. But that was his problem, not Jaskier's. He snapped out of his gloom.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier snapped out of his Haxey thoughts and leaned into Geralts hand as it stroked his face. It felt nice, the rough against his smooth face, he enjoyed the fact he didn't have to be anything but himself unlike with his last bodyguard, she-

No. He wouldn't think of her. Not now. She's old. He has a new bodyguard now. And he's here in front of him, showing his such kindness for no reason.

He quite happily moved with Geralt to the couch, a small smile on his face as he moved and sat down alongside Geralt. He listened intently, wanting to know as much as he could about the man. His brow frowned a couple of times, why the hell would she do that to him? That made absolutely no sense at all. Horrible way to be treated, especially on a first job. Geralt was so kind, gentle, loving even Jaskier would dare to say. His thoughts were jumbled as he listened, keeping his eyes on Geralt's facial expression. He watched as his bodyguard stared at his hands, Jaskier only then noticed that they had been clenched. A small smile came onto Jaskiers face, maybe Geralt was helping him with his life and being his bodyguard but maybe, maybe by chance he could help Geralt back as well. It was evident to see, the way he's so gentle says what he thinks but never talks about his emotions. He thought of himself as a bad man. And that, that was just not okay to Jaskier.

Jaskier's hands moved from being beside his body to reaching out. His long nimble fingers wrapped around one of Geralt's clenched hands. He had to use two hands to hold it as Geralt's hands were significantly larger than Jaksiers.

He tenderly brushed his fingers along Geralt's hand and lightly pulled them open through gently caresses. Once Geralt's hand had at least relaxed lightly, Jaskier brought it to his lips, quickly licking them to get any extra bits of his lipstick which should've now soaked into his lips seeming he only dabbed a light amount on, before bringing them to Geralt's palm as he gently pressed a kiss to it.


	4. dryers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: smoking

_Geralt POV_

Geralt watched as Jaskier took hold of his hands, his hands, the ones that had blood on them, enough to stain them forever despite Geralt only being 27, and he- pressed one to his lips. Geralt froze, unaccustomed to the softness and reverence in Jaskier's eyes. No. People did not do that. They didn't look at HIM that way. Geralt was distantly aware he was trembling. He forced himself through several deep breaths, never looking away from Jaskier. He knew it was too much to hope for that the man hadn't noticed Geralt's response.

He didn't withdraw his hand. He couldn't. Jaskier, despite how slim he was, had a deceivingly strong grip. Geralt also, though he was not going to admit it, didn't want to offend or embarrass Jaskier. He could break away if he was uncomfortable, but oddly, despite the strange situation, he was not.

Geralt took another breath and looked around, instinctively searching for anything new or out of place, anything that might warn him of danger. He saw nothing, and it was only then done he allows himself to look back at Jaskier.

"My apologies if I have made you uncomfortable." It was his job to protect, comfort was a second. BEING comforted shouldn't even be in the picture. Surely Jaskier knew this. Surely he understood. He had just heard Geralt confess to killing a man, for fuck's sake. So why was he still determined to be kind to Geralt and be friendly?

_Julian POV_

Jaskier felt the trembling of Geralts hand as he looked at it with softness and gentle kindness. He almost let out a tiny laugh when Geralt tried to apologize, in fact, he actually did. Not in a degrading manner, but in a manner of basically calling him a big oaf, but just for a measure he verbalized it. "No, you big oaf. You haven't, nor will you ever I predict," he said softly and with a quiet voice, wanting to not scare the man away.

He moved the palm up to his lips again, kissed it twice higher up the palm before turning his hand over and kissing each of his knuckles between words.

He started with the first knuckle with a small smile "Despite it all, Geralt." he started, a second kiss. "You are Gentle." a third kiss. "You are special." the fourth kiss before turning his hand slightly. "And you are no monster." he kissed Geralts thumb knuckle before holding his hand gently but with a firm enough grip.

He trailed his fingertips lightly over where he had kissed and where he hadn't, mixing the two up like a potion of forgiveness for Geralt to have towards himself.

Geralt was kind, one of the kindest people he's had in his life, even though there weren't many, he knew Geralt was a good man. His eyes flicked up to Geralts and he gave him a gentle smile, admiration in his eyes as he scanned Geralts facial features once over and looked to his eyes. He internally hoped Geralt wasn't disgusted or freaking out over the fact that he was kissing his hands, if he hadn't figured it out by now, he might have to explain it later on.

It was his way of giving affection. His way of giving love to others, his way of allowing to show he is vulnerable for them so that they were one and the same. He was a hopeless romantic, he loved everyone and everything. He would even say he falls in love, not in a romantic way but on a spiritual level of love and compassion for others.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt met Jaskier's gaze steadily, heart pounding a little harder than usual. Otherwise, he was much the same as he always was. He let Jaskier press kisses to his knuckles let him stroke his hand as he tangled them together. Geralt didn't protest. If this made Jaskier feel comfortable then this is what he would do. Gods, what would Yen think?

Geralt had always known he was straight. He had felt that way since before he had been forced to quit normal school for training. This, this softness with Jaskier, meant nothing. It was his job, in a way. It was of no threat to the relationship he had with Yennefer.

Geralt reached his thumb over the side of Jaskier's hand, stroking the skin there. He didn't know quite what to think. He was none of the things the man seemed to think he was. He killed. He fought. He beat people jobs for a living, and yet he was called gentle? He had failed so many times, had let so many people go free, had been robbed of what he was owed, and he was special? Was that why mistreated him so? Because he was special? Because he had the misfortune to get fucking CHEMICALS spilled on him and a whole bunch of other shit that forever bleached his hair and made him easy to scar? Easy to scar in so many ways, be it physical or mental. That incident had opened his eyes wide enough for his job, but too wide for the life he might have otherwise had.

And 'not a monster?' Gods. How could Jaskier look at him, listen to all he did and didn't say, see what he was capable of, and still think that? How could he see anything in Geralt worth treasuring and admiring, the way he so clearly did? He didn't understand. Neither of them did.

_J_ _ulian POV_

Jaskier smiled gently at Geralt, feeling the thumb gently caress the back of his hand made his smile grow wider with a gentle humm towards Geralt.

Jaskier couldn't help it, he loved Geralt deeply, as a person. Nothing more, he couldn't let himself. One Geralt already had a girlfriend and two, he was a guy. Jaskier was quite confident in liking both females and males. He thinks the number of products he has and the clothing he wore screamed that out enough. Jaskier gave a light chuckle at Geralt, he looked like. Almost puppy with those Amber eyes just looking at him. Jaskier scooted a bit closer to Geralt and smiled at him, lightly reenacting what he did to Jaskier earlier but slightly different. He lifted his hand and lightly cupped the man's cheek, he could feel the stubble of the man's face quite easily but he didn't really mind it. He smiled a little wider and caressed his cheekbone, tracing it lightly before tracing the contour of his cheek, repeatedly stroking it with the softest touch.

Jaskier felt happy, he felt joy from being able to give and love Geralt this freely without feeling as if Geralt would ignore all of it.

"You're loving, Geralt. And deserve to be loved. Don't allow anyone else to tell you otherwise or I will personally try to beat them up." he joked a little bit as he let à light chuckle out before resuming his light well-meant seriousness.

"You're loved Geralt. If not by anyone you can think of already, then by me. Don't let your darkest thoughts take away who you are at heart." he spoke softly, reassuring, almost as if the air was the thing that said it sweeping by his ears rather than coming out of Jaksiers mouth.

Jaskier didn't know what to think. How could a man like Geralt be thought to of been so unloved? It was absurd! His task now was to make sure Geralt understood. Understood he loved him. Understood someone out there will always love him, understand that not everyone will instantly hate him and he has to put on a mask.

_G_ _eralt POV_

Geralt closed his eyes at Jaskier's touch, brow furrowed. He wasn't angry at Jaskier. He knew that much. No, his anger ran deeper than that. It was directed purely at himself and his superiors. Mostly at himself. He hated how easily he had broken, how easily he was giving into this. He was a bodyguard, for fuck's sake. If he comforted people, it was only ever because they were a client, and they had usually been cold to him afterward. He hadn't gone this far, and this wasn't even far. His idea of comforting his clients was essentially smothering them with himself until they calmed down and shoved him away.

And his superiors had brought him here, to a man who craved affection and touch. There were other Corps members so much better suited to this task, why him? Because he was one of their better employees? But then, why not leave him where he was, with Renfri? Who was in mortal danger and was now unprotected. He knew she could look after herself, but that didn't keep him from worrying.

Geralt opened his eyes again, amber meeting blue. "You wanted to go to a store?" He prompted. He knew it wasn't his place. It wasn't, it never had been, and it certainly wasn't going to start being now. But he didn't know how to react to Jaskier's easy earnestness. That was not someone he had had to cover during training.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he saw his eyes close, relaxing into his own touch. He smiled and hummed happily, looking around the náms face and all his features. Only now did Jaskier realize how young Geralt looked up close, his eyelashes were reasonably long.

When Geralts eyes suddenly opened and looked back to Jaskiers, Jaskiers smiled happily and nodded at his question. "Ah yes. What meals do you like as well? Are you a bad schedule eater or a type of morning day and night?" he asked curiously and he didn't bother to move his hand away from his face.

He gently smiled and kissed Geralts forehead before pulling back and humming, removing his hands from Geralt with a light humm and walked over to his coat rack. He grabbed his coat off the wrack, slipping it on. It was a pure black almost trench coat like one jacket but only went to the length of his tailbone.

He pulled out a packet of cigarettes, from it and opened it, seven cigarettes left. He pulled out one of them and closed it, placing it back in his coat pocket as he looked up at Geralt.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt shrugged. "I eat lightly early and late. Inbetween I eat when I can." He had never had the largest of appetites, so usually, something before dawn and something late at night could last him through his day. If he got hungry, he either ignored it or had a light snack. Eating infrequently made missions easier in several ways, he had noted. The first and foremost was that it took less time out of his day and lowered his expenses. He ate when he woke up and either when he went to bed or, if he had something else to do that night, sometime shortly before midnight.

"I don't mind what I eat, so long as there isn't any meat." That much was true. He would truly prefer that he not eat at all, and survived on the food he had brought, and whatever else he had to buy for himself. Geralt wasn't comfortable with other people providing for him. He was a guard, nothing more. He wasn't even always there. Some people wanted full-time protection, others wanted his presence only for a few hours. Geralt tried to avoid having to bodyguard at events, such as concerts or film award ceremonies. He would rather live with or nearby, and guard a person daily. He let Jaskier kiss his forehead, marveling at the man but keeping his expression a careful stony blank.

Geralt stood too, stretching. He took his book and phone from the couch and padded over on bare feet to where Jaskier was standing and putting on his coat. He crouched down and returned the book to his duffel bag, rezipping the main pocket once he was done fetching a pair of socks from it. They were dark blue and went most of the way to his knees, which was ideal for the boots he wore. Unfortunately, said boots were currently in need of a wash. Geralt had a pair of everyday shoes. He took those out of his bag instead and swapped the long blue socks for ankle height black ones. He didn't take a jacket out.

Geralt pulled on his socks and shows, tying them before straightening to stand beside Jaskier. He narrowed his eyes as he saw the other man take out a cigarette. That was fine, he supposed. Jaskier was free to do as he liked, so long as he didn't necessarily expect Geralt to do the same

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he waited for the man to get ready and pulled out a white lighter from his pocket. White lighters were supposed to be considered bad luck, but he liked to challenge it for it to be a good luck charm. He held his cigarette in his hand, if he saw Geralt smoking then he'd offer one but he didn't wish to offend the man but making it seem he expected to do what he did.

"That's alright, I have really bad eating habits. I don't eat when composing or feeling nervous or 12 hours before I go live. Actually now that I think about it, it is a really bad habit to be in. But oh well. So the plan is. Groceries last because I don't want frozens to go off if we need any. We need to get you a key and I need to do some extra shopping due to you moving in. New bedsheets and stuff, don't really want you to not be comfortable. Oh and laundry."

He spouted on as he moved his lighter to the same hand as his cigarette and wrapped his fingers around the door handle and opened it. He used his back to hold open the door and did a quick pat-down ensuring that he did have his keys.

" Did you want to take the car or walk? I don't mind either. Just you'll need to unlock the door first if you want to take the car, which honestly would be nicer considering how many bags we'll have at the end of it." he rambled on.

He shifted the small doorstop that was hiding behind the door and plopped it in front of the door as he moved to pick the bags of clothing up.

_Geralt POV_

"We can drive," Geralt offered. He patted the pocket he kept his keys in to assure himself. He had slid his phone into his other pocket. Geralt moved out into the hallway and kept one hand on the door as Jaskier reemerged with the bag of laundry. He moved the doorstop back to where it was and shut the apartment door behind them. He heard the lock click and started walking down the hallway, following Jaskier.

He waited until they were finished with getting the laundry loaded, and had stashed the bag in a small locker. Then, Geralt led them back upstairs, to the level where he had parked Yennefer's car. He unlocked it, gesturing for Jaskier to get in. He himself took the driver's seat. Before he did anything else, before he had even closed the door, Geralt pulled out his phone and sent his girlfriend a quick text.

**Geralt of Rv.**

To: Yen

_I won't be home tonight, or for some time. Jaskier seems intent on getting me to move in with him._

_You'll get your car back soon._

He allowed himself a faint smile at that. He had been unsure of whether he would be staying with Jaskier completely or if he would be visiting home some nights. Yennefer would understand what he meant.

That done, Geralt pulled his leg in and shut the door, turning on the engine.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier harried the bags by where they were tied with on hand and placed them in the front of the car with him happily. He fiddled with his cigarette, he'd just have to wait until he was at their first location, which would hopefully be the laundry mat. Or where ever Geralt deemed to be the best place to start first. He didn't think he'd want the bags of vomit and piss covered clothing to be sitting in his girlfriend's car after all.

Jaskier hummed lightly as he twirled with the cigarette happily, he didn't mind having to wait. And he wasn't about to smoke in a car. If it were his own or not, he didn't like smoking in closed spaces. His apartment, cars, inside at all.

He gently started to hum at the new song that he was composing, it was only halfway done unfortunately and he'd had a writer's block for a while. He had the tune of it but no lyrics yet. Well, he said he had a tune but it was half a tune.

The tune was rather slow but still had a jumpiness to him as he sang the only part of the song that he had really created yet.

" _O'er glistening roofs you float_

_Through lily-strewn rivers you dive_

_Yet one day I will know your truths_

_If only I am still alive..._ "

He hummed lightly and under his breath to try not to disturb Geralt but Jaskier scrunched his nose up and stopped humming, nah. Maybe he should just scrap the song in general due to the face he was so stuck on it. He let out a small sigh. He really had nothing to sing about lately.

No lovely girlfriends or boyfriends to try and woo with his songs.

He waited and looked out the window, keeping silent with a slight frown of concentration of his brow.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt set the car in reverse and started driving. He drove around the garage to the ramp down to the first floor, then from there went straight, turning onto the main road. He was in agreement with Jaskier about the groceries. Better to get those last. Jaskier was humming, and Geralt found himself almost enjoying the song. It didn't sound finished, though. Jaskier kept returning to the same spot as if trying to work out what should go there.

When the man stopped humming, Geralt looked over, confused. Jaskier seemed sad about something, based on the way he was sighing and his normal chatter was absent. Finally, as they rounded another corner, Geralt could take it no more.

"Is something bothering you?" Was it the fact that he was waiting to smoke? Geralt appreciated him not doing it in the car, but in all honesty, Yennefer had probably done worse in here. There were days he wondered if he was crazy for falling for her.

Geralt pulled up outside the laundromat. It was s small, squat building, another in a solid line of connected buildings. The red bricks looked freshly cleaned, however. Geralt turned off the engine and removed his keys, pocketing his phone.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier was silent, in deep thought before he looked to Geralt with a light "hmm? Oh! Oh no nothing is wrong, love. I just was thinking. I have no inspiration for any songs at the moment but I'm soon something will come around. I'm also composing another song and it's ready for a live, so I might do a live tonight. I play best at night but I'll be in the soundproof room.." he said with a little smile. 

He waited until Geralt had parked up fully outside of the rather cute laundry and picked up the two bags of clothing. He opened the door and shut it behind him, trying not to slam it before walking over to the door of the laundry mat and used his pass, a small blue tag on the keys that he pulled out of his pocket. Once it made a satisfying beep he popped it back into his pocket again and held the door open for Geralt to walk in.

After Geralt had walked in he let the door shut and moved over to the washing machines. He quickly pulled out his clothing and shoved them inside of it before pulling out Geralts clothing and looked to him as he loaded it in "Any specific setting darling? I remember the first time I came here, was humming and realize it had amazing acoustics in here, really can emphasize your voice and make a lovely- and sorry you probably don't wanna know. Setting? " he asked with an eyebrow raised, waving his hands around a little before stopping as he looked at Geralt.

_Geralt POV_

"Machine cold," Geralt said, taking a short moment to follow Jaskier's abrupt shift in topics. "Dark colors." He had, in fact, been interested in what the man was saying. It was wonderful to see him talking so enthusiastically and cheerfully, like what had happened that morning was much further in the past.

"And that's fine. I don't sleep much, anyway." He was referencing Jaskier's comment about his live stream tonight. Geralt might even try to get on it, just to see how it differed from the real thing.

Besides, he preferred not to sleep while others were still awake near him. It wasn't that it woke him up, but it instead made him uncomfortable. His mind would be following different scenarios and be constantly checking the movements of each person. Them, when they finally had gone to sleep, Geralt would have to steal out of bed and meditate to calm himself enough for sleep. And, it was his job as a bodyguard to keep his clients safe. He was of little Jude if he was asleep. Nonetheless, he did still need sleep, and so be resolved to try to fall asleep when Jaskier retired for bed that night.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nodded and quickly put the machine on and pressed a couple of buttons, it starts up with noise and started to work away at its designed purpose.

Jaskier moved over to Geralt and raised his eyebrow lightly "Habits?" he asked out of curiosity while putting the bags over in the bin. He really didn't want to use those bags again afterward. He moved over to Geralt afterward and smiled brightly at him.

"If you want, just knock and come on in if I'm live streaming or not. I'll put a little sign on the door to let you know if I'm live or recording. I'm not sure if you'd take interest in that or not but, the invite is there." he said as he walked over to him and picked his smoke and lighter up off the small wooden counter next to the washing machines where people could fold their clothes, he had placed it there on the way to the machine. He smiled at Geralt as he held his smoke up. "I'm going to go out for one. If you want you can keep me company but if you don't like being near it that's okay. I'm hygienic with it all, I don't like to smell like smoke or to have old smoke near me. In fact, I'm allergic to old smoke so I have to make sure my clothes are properly cleaned." he started blabbering again, lifting his hand as he spoke and gently placed it on Geralts bicep, sliding it down to his forearm before letting him go.

He moved over to the door and opened it up and walked outside, leaving it up to Geralt if he were to come after him or not. He leaned against the glass window of the laundry mat and flicked his lighter a couple of times before it catching as he inhales, moving it to his pocket as he inhaled deeply before holding it in his lungs for a moment and exhaling in front of him, a light amount of smoke coming out.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt pursed his lips. "I would rather not disrupt you," he told Jaskier. Nonetheless, he might take him up on the offer anyway, just to check up on him from time to time throughout the night. When Jaskier told him he'd be stepping outside for a smoke, Geralt felt his chest tighten. Not out of anything Jaskier had done or said, but because of the memories, it brought back. It wasn't anything big, but there had been an incident during training involving smoking. One recruit had been expelled, then other wasn't trusted ever quite the same again. And that was before he set things on fire and became notorious for taking the weird assignments he could. Geralt had never spoken to the guy, except for at the start of training. He didn't particularly want to.

Jaskier's hand on his bicep.. in front of other people.. Geralt hadn't expected that as much as he should have. No one was explicitly watching, but the front walls of the laundromat were glass, and there were other customers there.

Geralt stepped outside with Jaskier, leaning against the wall street a few feet away. He still had the leather cord he used to tie up his hair on his wrist. He pulled the coarse white strands back in a half-up half-down style, which he only wore to contain the front and sides, and knotted the cord to hold it in place.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled at the other man as he came out and watched as he stood a little ways away, typing up his hair. Jaskier couldn't help but chuckle lightly at Geralt, he really did suit his hair up or down, it doesn't really matter, he looked good either way honestly. Jaskier found when he had it down, it framed his face and found him actually rather attractive in the way it scalped his face.

Jaskier enjoying it while his hair was up as well, honestly, he thought it softened Geralts features slightly and made him look like an angel in his eyes.

Jaskier winked over at Geralt once he saw his eyes looking towards him. He grinned over at him as he lifted up his cigarette, taking a long deep inhale with it before exhaling.

This was strange to him, Geralt had already shown him his vulnerable side and Jaskier had shown his own side to Geralt as well within the first day of knowing each other. That was pretty damn intense, especially for Jaskier. He didn't know about Geralt but oh my lord, he'd never been so vulnerable and liked it before.

Once he finished his smoke, he put it out on his shoe sole, before walking to a bin after making sure it was out and put it inside of it, throwing it out.

He hummed lightly as he rubbed his hands together. Unfortunately, he didn't think to bring any perfume... But the scent of the smoke was extremely light unless one smelt his left hand, the hand he smoked with.

He walked to Geralt and smiled widely at him from a reasonable distance, he had just smoked and didn't want to breathe it into his face.

He reached his right hand out seeming it wasn't touched by the smoke and lightly touched his forearm with a smile to signal he was done. There were probably only a couple of minutes left on the machine inside.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt watched Jaskier and the passerby, keeping an eye out for anyone who might intend the man harm. When he had finished the cigarette and touched his arm, Geralt followed him back inside. It was warmer in there, though less humid. The sound of the machines turning material over and over was oddly soothing if a little disheartening. Geralt couldn't explain it. Perhaps it was the way a zipper sometimes cracked against the metal, barring, and inconsistent. Or maybe it was because the noise bordered on drowning out his thoughts. He may not always like his thoughts, but he would rather hear them than not.

Geralt stood beside Jaskier and faced the opposite direction, towards the door, as the man began unloading their laundry. Geralt kept guard, more out of habit than the feeling there was an actual threat here. But it never hurt to be careful, and that was what he was here to do, after all.

While Jaskier worked, Geralt felt his phone buzz against his leg. He looked to the man, then to the door, then back at Jaskier once more just to check. Satisfied, Geralt checked it.

**Yennefer of Vg.**

To: Geralt

_So I texted Triss. No response, obviously._

He waited for a minute as her next response came. He knew she was a fast typer. She did this to bug him because she knew how desperate he was for information about the Renfri situation. Finally, Yennefer's response sent.

**Yennefer of Vg.**

To: Geralt

_So_

He waited.

**Yennefer of Vg.**

To: Geralt

_I texted Renfri._

A pause. Jaskier was almost done now.

**Yennefer of Vg.**

To: Geralt

_She says hi. And not to text her._

Geralt felt the blood drain of his face, the cold stone and air of dread filling his body. He slowly lowered his phone against his leg. Renfri didn't want to speak to him. But she had to still be in danger. Was it about her past? He didn't know. He couldn't.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier happily hummed away at to the tune of another song he'd been composing, it was a little more solemn and relaxed compared to the other bouncy one. He carefully unloaded all the clothing, placing it in one of the baskets they provided there as long as you brought it back.

He shut the door quietly to the washer and picked up the basket, placing it on his hip. He turned, looking to Geralt, and instantly à frown came onto his face.

Geralt looked wrong. Not in a cruel or he's deformed sort of way, oh no. But his face, it seemed to be drained, slightly paler. His phone was in his hand, gods Jaskier thought of everything that could've possibly happened to make the man be so distraught. He moved, strangely silent for himself, it even shocked him, towards the man.

"Geralt ?" Jaskier gently, almost cooed towards him, ensuring to let him know he wasn't a threat to Geralt. "Geralt?" He lightly called his name again, gently extending his hand and placing it on Geralts shoulder before slipping it up to his face just to ensure the man was actually pale, comparing his hand's shader of pale to Geralts face. He definitely was pale. Something had happened. "Want to talk in the car?" he offered gently.

He knew Geralt wasn't a very public person, especially with having to be a bodyguard he could imagine that it's easier just to be silent.

Jaskier kept his hand on the bodyguard's cheek, even slightly caressing his thumb over it, he kept it there until either Geralt moved or pulled his hand away, which either he would expect.

Jaskier was just shocked, he wasn't sure what to do. He looked at the clothing that was in the basket that was on the ground now, having placed it down beside the two of them before glancing back up to Geralts face. What could he do to make it better? Maybe dinner? But he was going to live stream, maybe he should do the stream tomorrow and practice tonight. That way he could make them the soup that he talked about and they could watch a crappy movie or something.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt twitched, turning his head a fraction of a centimeter away from Jaskier's hand as he came back. "Apologies," he murmured. "It's nothing." His heart was still beating painfully hard, though it remained at its slow pace. The ice of dread had worked its way throughout him fully now. Renfri was pushing him away. He supposed it was for the better. He had been reassigned, it would do him no good to dwell on the past. Even if that past was only the previous day.

He turned his phone off, frowned at the strange object in his hand that could bring so much pain, and slid it back into his pocket. Jaskier still hadn't removed his hand. Geralt didn't mind, but for fear of a crowd, he gently took hold of Jaskier's wrist and moved the man's hand back to its owner's side. "We can talk in the car," he said quietly in agreement.

When Jaskier had finished up in the laundromat, Geralt followed him back outside. They walked a little way down the sidewalk to the car. Geralt kept his hands firmly in his pockets, only his thumbs sticking out. When they reached Yennefer's car, Geralt unlocked it and walked around to the driver's side. He sat down, not touching his seatbelt as he shut the door behind him.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nodded with a small smile still on his face, he didn't want to make Geralt uncomfortable in public and got the message. He smiled as Geralt bothered to actually move Jaksier's hand back to him instead of just walking away, a small simple gesture in which to Jaskier proved his point even more about Geralt being so gentle.

Jaskier picked up the laundry basket, quickly following alongside Geralt until they reached the car. He opened up the back door, placing the clothes in the back seeming it had the laundry basket. He thought seeming there were two of them, he might start actually use it and keep it, obviously return it if he didn't need it anymore after a month but, for now. He closed the door, careful not to slam it before he opened the car door, seeing Geralt had already day and he was doing just that, sitting. It made Jaskiers concern grow more as he felt a slight twist in his stomach. He hopped in, not bothering to reach for his seat belt as it seemed Geralt hadn't even bothered to yet, meaning he was actually going to open up to him a little bit more. Its always hard, the first time you meet someone and are forced to open yourselves up in order to understand each other more.

"What's going on Geralt? Talk to me." he soothingly spoke as he closed the car door behind him, he leaned his body slightly, angling so that he was facing Geralt as much as he could. His own way of comfort and comforting was physical touch but what was Geralts? He never really thought about it. Did he need space? Did he need closeness? He didn't seem to mind Jaskier's little touches in order to try and soothe him normally. He looked to Geralt, eyes focused on him as he kept his hands to himself for now, once Geralt started talking he should be able to try to figure out what he needed afterward.

He sat, waiting, not leaning but was up straight, eager to hear why Geralt looked so damn upset, he didn't like it. He wanted to change it.


	5. xo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: none

_Geralt POV_

Geralt waited, staring at his feet, as Jaskier took his seat. When the man was settled, he looked up out the front window. He breathed. He didn't sigh, just breathed. One hand-picked at the other, a nervous tick he had failed to get rid of for good. It had gone away for some time but had returned recently.

He looked back at Jaskier, amber eyes meeting blue. He had never liked confessions that weren't directly faced to face. It was easier to look away, but it made what you were saying seem more shameful. Geralt wouldn't do it.

So he bit the inside of his cheek, thinking. Jaskier was willing to help. He so painfully, clearly was. They hadn't even known each other a day, and yet Jaskier seemed to trust him. Thought I'd him as a good person. Even though Geralt felt he had made he clear that he didn't want to be there. Ah. His coldness. That was as good a place as any to start.

"I apologize if I've been rude to you. It was never my intent." He didn't look away, though some instinct buried far within him screamed at him to. He took another breath, this one deeper.

"I was reassigned to you last night. Wasn't supposed to leave my previous case until it's completion. But I was sent here instead." He paused, staring at how his hands were trembling. He felt disconnected from the world as if he was searching himself through a stranger's eyes. And how pathetic he looked. The hired bodyguard, breaking down and needing to be comforted on day one of the jobs, and by his client of all people. No wonder Vesemir had moved him away from Renfri. He took another breath.

"My last client. She.. she was in a bad state, to keep it short. There are threats against her life and she trusted me, and then I was moved. Abruptly. To you." He told himself to ignore any pain he might see in Jaskier's eyes at that statement.

"Yennefer texted her when she didn't reply to me. Told me my previous client didn't want to speak to me anymore." Another pause. "That was what happened a few minutes. Yennefer texting me that." He looked back out the front window, having said his piece.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier listened closely, the corner of his eye not missing the way that his hands were fiddling and starting to shake again. That must be his tick, the thing that gives away if he isn't okay.

He stared at Geralt, slightly surprised that he was looking at him while he spoke, Jaskier knew he certainly would not have had the guts to look at anyone. Well, he knew from his own experience that he didn't.

His brow frowned slightly as Geralt started, rudeness? Geralt had shown nothing but kindness to the man. What the hell made him thought that he had been rude lately? Or at all? He literally hugged Jaskier until he was no longer vomiting all over the both of them, that right there could be described as nothing but kindness.

Jaskier's eyes widened and his lips parted as soon as the words registered in his head. Geralt had his old client, he took him away from them, he had separated them. God's, Jaskier felt nothing but pain for a moment, not because of Geralt saying it was his doing, no-no, but the mere fact he split the two of them up in general. Jaskier jaw clenched as he swallowed, feeling the tears sting at his eyes lightly as he tried to ignore them and listened to what he had just heard.

Yennefer, that must've been his girlfriend. Current girlfriend, he wasn't single. He tried to remind himself lightly.

He moved his hand after a moment of silence hesitantly to Geralts, touch light as ever as he gave Geralt a small smile, it was more like a ghost of a one but it was definitely there, honestly if anything it was sadder.

"I had no idea that they reassigned you. I thought that you had maybe finished your previous assignment already. I'm sorry that I've put you through this Geralt-" he had to pause for a moment and clear his throat lightly.

"I can, if you want, try and call up for a different bodyguard so you could be assigned to her again?" he offered, hell he would even pay them extra than a month's worth of wages towards Geralt so he could be promised the job back.

Jaskier's heart was beating extremely fast, his heartbeat was in his ears honestly. He could barely process that he was even speaking.

He gently took Geralts hand, noting how it was shaking again, he would've kissed it if it were not for the fact of how far apart they were. Instead, he moved his other hand to the bodyguard's cheek and gently stroked it as always. He didn't know how contracts worked, that may not have been how the contracts worked.

"If there is some way to get you that job back Geralt, then I'll help you do it. If there's something like money needed, I'll give you what I can. If it's needing to leave then you can, whatever it is I will try to help you." he spoke as he looked into the Amber eyes, ignoring the fact that he could feel a tear escape and drop down his face.

He didn't want Geralt to go, Lord knows he didn't, it was the main reason for the year, but if Geralt would be happier then he would try.

_Geralt POV_

"No." Geralt said firmly. It came out more fiercely than he had tried to make it. But he didn't regret the tone. What was done was done. He would be checking up on Renfri, the gods knew he would. But she didn't want to see him. He could respect that, even if it pained him. "I'll stay." Besides, Jaskier had a need for him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered to his hands. They were still shaking. The hand Jaskier held to his cheek had done wonders for his nerves, though. He lifted one trembling hand against it, clutching Jaskier's hand. He would have to call Vesemir tonight. Maybe Yen as well. No, definitely Yen. Or she would call him. One of the two, and she'd probably be upset either way. But maybe today she'd be lenient. He was exaggerating, of course, but Yennefer wasn't known for her consistency. Renfri... gods no. Not tonight, anyway. She was tough. She didn't need him.

Geralt shook himself out of and reached for his seatbelt with his free hand. He buckled it on and took out his keys, turning on the engine. He didn't take his hand off Jaskier's, even leaned into the contact as he merged back onto the main street. He didn't know where Jaskier had planned to go next, but he had mentioned something about getting Geralt a key, so that's where Geralt began heading to.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier jumped a little nearly at the tone that Geralt had used when he had said refused, but it made sense to him that if Geralt felt strongly about something he wasn't too good at expressing his feelings.

Jaskier smiled a little bit, putting on his seat belt when Geralt decided to move and do up his own seat belt on. He leaned slightly onto Geralts hand when he moved it and smiled at him lightly, slightly embarrassed he wiped away his tear that had fallen down as discreetly as he could, though Geralt was an alert and, even in this state he probably could tell that he was doing it.

He was a little surprised to say, but when Geralt drove and leaned into Jaskier's hand still, it surmised him a reasonable amount. He looked around, noticing from where they were that they were going to get the key done. He's thankful Geralt wanted to stay but still, a pang of guilt stabbed him in the stomach. He would have to apologize the best way he knew, a song. That'll be his next song.

He thought deeply, allowing silence to echo between the two of them as he spoke through his hand gently caressing Geralt. He frowned slightly, he really couldn't get his mind off of it. The best thing he could do was starting to composé in his head. He'd want it to be a high and low song, switching between the two if possible. Unfortunately, Jaskier's facial expressions when he composed in his head mainly consisted of being blank or frowning slightly unless he was doing adjustments as he sang along and tweaked a few things.

Jaskier looked up, looking around to see if the shop was around yet while mentally composing the song. The shop was small on the outside, it had a sign of a key on the top of it so it wasn't too hard to miss. It was a golden key with "Engravers" written in cursive letters next to it, white exterior with many windows to see in. It was sort of the theme of the town to look as bit and open as possible.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt pulled into one of the few parking spaces available. It was the middle of the afternoon, so there weren't too many people. But then, there weren't many spaces, either. Geralt turned his key and turned off the engine. He gently took his hand from Jaskier's and moved his head away, letting the man's fingers trail down his cheek as they fell.

He didn't blame Jaskier. Not really. Yes, he had applied for a bodyguard. But that was the entire point of Witcher Corps, after all. Jaskier had no way of knowing Geralt would be chosen. Right? Though, he had said that he had expected him to be finished with his previous client before coming to Jaskier. But Vesemir didn't have to reassign him. His superiors could have kept him where he was with Renfri.

Geralt got out of the car. He shut the door behind him, tapping his fingers lightly against the pocket his phone was in as he shoved his keys into the other one. He walked up to the front entrance of the building, letting Jaskier take the lead from there.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled at Geralt lightly as he felt his fingers move down the light stubble of the man and off of him. He undid his seat belt and opened the car door, hopping out and stretching his legs lightly seeming he was in a position facing Geralt the whole ride so it cramped up his legs a tiny bit. He met Geralt at the door which was pitched open by a little door stopper block of wood. Jaskier walked straight in there as he saw a female with Blue eyes and Blonde hair branded back he grinned at her.

"Hello darling Jasmine!" he said with a grin on his face as his face lit up from seeing her. He had known her because he came here often to get engravings done, they did metal but they also did wood and other bits and bobs. Jasmine was the main lady he went to in order to get his finer things in life done by, such as the jewelry that he often wore. 

The special stuff. The woman's face lit up from behind the glass counter that had rings engraved, some with stones and some without, some weren't even engraved and it was optional to get it done. Jasmine moved over to him and looked at him with a large smile before raising her eyebrow at Geralts presence.

"Jaskier! What can I do for you! New bodyguard?" she asked almost with an overly silky voice as her cheeks pinkened and she leaned over the counter, revealing her cleavage, tapping her left hand on the counter and running it in little circles in an attempt to flirt with him, the gold ring on her ring finger shimmering lightly as she did so.

Jaskier, who paid no mind to it at all just internally rolled his eyes and chuckled lightly "Hello me dear, yes indeed, bodyguards name is Geralt. We are here to get him a key." he explained which made her eyebrows shoot up in question. "You never got a spare key for anyone Jaskier. Not even your last bodyguard," she questioned with her brows slightly frowned before she sighed and stood up straight, looking right at Geralt.

"You're one hell of a special man, Geralt," she said before rolling eyes. She put back on her sickeningly sweet smile and placed her and out. "Anything special on it for him?" she asked as Jaskier fiddled around before pulling the key out of his pocket and handing it over to her. He gave a nod and smirked a little bit. He didn't have much up his sleeve, but he had a little.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt followed Jaskier inside. When the man went up to the counter, he followed, examining the various rings and stones. He hadn't been in here before. It was... nice, he supposed. Geralt was one of the simpler things in life. He knew some welding and could sketch well enough to map out an area, but that was the extent of his artistic ability. What was showcased here was far above him.

While Jaskier and Jasmine, he had called her, flirted, or rather, when Jasmine flirted with Jaskier, Geralt looked around the shop. It was small but extravagant nonetheless. The ceiling and walls were white, the floors a white marbled tile. The tiles were square-shaped, a diamond in the center of every four. That diamond, he noted, was gold-colored and flashed a bit in the light. Not enough to be a nuisance, but enough to draw attention to it.

After Jaskier introduced him, Geralt nodded his greetings and went back to frowning at the display. He tried to keep his thoughts off Renfri, but honestly, how could he? He was tempted to check his phone again, but Jaskier was wrapping up his discussion with Jasmine and the last time Geralt had looked at his texts, it had gone poorly. So he didn't.

It was Jasmine asking about adding something to his key that got his attention. He had been listening to what they had been saying all along, mentally storing it away for further use, should he ever need it, but he fully tuned in now. He almost protested when he saw Jaskier's smirk and how he nodded. The man had a plan of some sort. Geralt had no choice but to go with it. Even if it was bright glittery pink, he supposed it would make it easier to distinguish which key went to Jaskier's apartment.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier leaned over lightly and spoke into her ear, whispering what he wanted done to it. Jasmine raised her eyebrow t him suggestively but as she opened her mouth Jaksiers cut her off mid-sentence.

"You know that it sounds like-" she started.

"I know you work fast, hurry up," he said with a slightly playful tone to his voice. As he waves her off and she rolled her eyes, running out to the back room. He looked around, having there been no one else due to it being quite a small business and all.

Jaskier walked his way over to Geralt and gave him a smile, a genuine and small one as he gently moved his hand into Geralts, lightly brushing his fingers along the rough skin, gentle enough so Geralt could move his hand away if he wished to.

"Are you feeling better? Should we do groceries and the rest another time? At this rate, we won't get home until late and... Well, I don't like arriving when it's dark to the house. And I think we both could do with a sit-down and a breath." he suggested lightly.

Jaskier moved his other hand to the same hand Geralt was holding. He held his hand, gripping either side of it and rubbing his thumbs soothingly along the back of his hand. He traces small circles on the back of his hand, humming lightly in content as he looked to Geralts eyes, searching for the truth of if he was really okay. After a shock like that, no one would be.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt let Jaskier trace over his hand, throat tighter than it ought to have been. "Whatever you want," he said. He would rather not be out after dark either, but that was why he was here, after all. To protect his clients when they felt unsafe. Geralt moved his other hand to on top of one of Jaskier's, stilling it. He let the man's other thumb continue its tracing.

"What did you ask her for?" He asked softly, voice rumbling as it always did when he spoke quieter than a normal volume. He had caught some of the exchange, the physical parts: Jasmine's wink, her eyebrow raise, how quickly Jaskier had cut her off. But he hadn't caught the words themselves. Which was probably Jaskier's intention? Keep Geralt in suspense.

He ran some calculations in his head. Jaskier was going to be live streaming tonight. Geralt would either watch it read nearby. That was likely to run late into the night. Jaskier had to have woken up early that morning to fetch Geralt, based on the fact that they had met shortly before dawn. He didn't know what Jaskier's normal sleep schedule was, but based on what had learned about the man's eating habits, he guessed it was just as erratic and spontaneous. The man probably lived on caffeine, or perhaps not, since he also smoked. Geralt was fairly sure that could be a hazardous combination. Caused heart disease, or something.

When Jasmine came back out of the backroom, Geralt let the hand he had on Jaskier's return to his side. He left the hand the man was holding where it was.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he stopped caressing the back of his hand with only one side as he felt Geralts hand over top of his. His smile widened slightly.

"Let's go after this then, gives us time to sit down and relax. Also, we need to figure out a schedule for you." he said with a light chuckle. "as for what I asked her, you'll just have to see darling." his smile widened a little bit, now that he wasn't as worried about all the things that were happening, what was going on through Geralts head and all the rest.

He heard the shuffling behind him and let out a laugh as he saw Jasmine, her face was one of 'I knew it' and 'good god' mixed together.

She chuckled as she put a hand on her hip and shook her head lightly, holding a shiny key in her hand. Jaskier smiled at Geralt, gently guiding his hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of it before walking up to the counter and grinned at her. "Just pop it on the bill, I'll pay it all off at the end of this month anyway," he said as he waved one has in a disregarding manner as the other was held out, Jasmine plopping it into his hand lightly.

Jasmine nodded a bit as he walked back over to Geralt with a slight grin on his face. Slowly he took Geralts hand, the same one that he let go less than a minute ago and turned it over, placing the key in the palm of his hand. The key itself was pretty similar to any normal house key, it had a circular like top and was a perfect replica of Jaskiers keys that he had. The only difference was, Jaskier reached for it and flipped it over, a cursive four-letter word of "Home" on the back with a heart next to it along with a 'xo' which was half the size of the normal writing and centered at the bottom of where Home and the heart was. the key was almost black metal with the engravings being like bright silver.

Jaskier smiled rater triumphantly at his little accomplishment sitting in Geralts hand before his eyes scanned up to Geralts face. He gently closed Geralts hand around it and kissed his fingers which now encapsulated it.

"I know it's not much and such but, it means a lot to me that you have this key. And although you may only be staying for a month, I want it to be much like home as possible for you. So, welcome home Geralt!" he said with a larger grin, hands letting go of his as he let Geralt hold the key on his own, Jaskiers eyes bright with happiness, hoping that he'd like it. He leaned forwards and quickly placed his lips onto Geralts cheekbone, warm to the touch before she pulled back and stood.

"Okay, Jaskier, do you want your key back then?" Jasmine's voice came from over the counter as Jaskier jumped a little bit. He had gotten so excited to give Geralt the little key gift that he had forgotten how that he hadn't had his keys returned. He walked over and grabbed them with a smile before walking back to Geralt and looked him in the eyes a little hopeful. "So, do you like it? Even if you don't then you're stuck with it but I just hope that you do actually like it." he rambled on slightly as he felt his cheeks warm up slightly, hand raising and scratching the back of his own neck.

_G_ _eralt POV_

Geralt stared at the key that had been placed in his palm. Behind Jaskier, he could see that Jasmine was watching, but he didn't try to stop the man. He watched, mind racing to process it all as Jaskier pressed a kiss first to his knuckles and then his cheek. He was thought that, if it hadn't been trained out of him, he might have blushed. This... this was probably a gesture that meant little to Jaskier. His other bodyguards must have had keys too- how else would the chick from Viper get in and let the men in?

He studied engraving as Jaskier rambled self-consciously. Xo? And a heart? For him? For the man that was only staying a month and who wasn't supposed to be there at all? (He was definitely having a chat with Vesemir later.) But right now all Geralt could do was uncurl his fingers and stare at the key, which was in the colors Jaskier had teased him about before they left the apartment. When Jasmine startled Jaskier, Geralt merely looked up, hand closing partially over the key on instinct. Then Jaskier came back, worried now, rather than quite as excited.

"I like it," Geralt replied quietly. He didn't mean just the key. He'd had plenty of keys in his life, from both clients and acquaintances. But Jaskier's was a promise of home. That was what he liked. The meaning behind what the man had done. Yes, Geralt would be needing a key if he was to live with Jaskier for the next month, but this was beyond a simple key.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's grin grew larger as he heard Geralt announce that he liked it. Thank goodness, he wanted to make sure it was like a home for Geralt for the next 29 and however long they had left of the day. Jaskier's grin only widened as he looked to Geralt with bright blue eyes that were piercing into him, happily watching the Amber eyes of the man in front of him.

"Well, shall we go home? And you can open the door, you know, just to test it out," he said with a light chuckle. "oh Geralt, darling I just realized, well I thought if it earlier but didn't verbalize it. If you were wanting, we could have dinner together tonight and I'll practice tonight and go live tomorrow night instead so that way we get to eat something together." he explained as he moved his hand to the man's collar, gently fiddling with it for no particular reason, enjoying the feeling of helping him in some way even if he wasn't needed for doing so.

Jaskier none the less, straightened it out before placing a hand on his shoulder, lightly patting it twice and trailing it off of his chest.

Jaskier honestly was super excited that he would be able to have Geralt with him like this, even if it was only a month. He had a couple of things he was still going to have to get used to, such as the fact that there is somebody home and can't just do everything whenever he wanted.

Jaskier's routine was confusing, in and out, inconsistent so their timetable would be weird to put on paper. Maybe he wouldn't even bother with that, he wasn't sure.

He just wanted Geralt to be comfortable, even if it is for just a month, which Jaskier had to keep reminding him in his own thought process. Just a month. His smile dimmed slightly as he thought about it but it came back as quickly as it left. He could tell, he was going to miss Geralt and terribly as well. He did not know how Geralt was with past clients but assuming off on Renfri, most ditch him afterward anyways.

Hopefully, the two of them would text or at least say hello and catch up in-between his jobs or some form of contact. Jaskier snapped out of his daze, his thoughts were bouncing from one thing to the next and he could feel the stitches on his head start to pulse and a pain shot through his head and he lifted a hand to them, a frown on his face as he tried his best not to touch the gash, not wanting to undo any of Geralts handiwork.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt caught Jaskier's wrist, keeping him from touching the stitches. He kept his grip light enough not to hurt but used enough pressure to get the message across. So Jaskier wanted to have dinner with him? That wasn't exactly known, though usually, it was him guarding a client versus sharing a meal with them. He assumed Jaskier would want the second, but he still internally prepared himself for the first. He kept his hopes low.

"We can do that," he agreed. His neck felt warm where Jaskier's fingers had brushed against it while straightening Geralt's collar. It hadn't needed straightening, but he had let the man do it. It didn't harm him, and Jaskier seemed to enjoy it. Mindful of Jasmine's eyes on them, he slowly let go of Jaskier's wrist, eyes flicking to her briefly.

"Thanks," Geralt told Jasmine, meaning for the key. Jaskier had been the one to want to get him one, of course, but Jasmine had been the one to make the copy and so he felt he should thank her.

That done, Geralt turned and made for the door. When he was certain Jaskier was following, he began walking back towards the car. It was colder out than inside the store, and the wind picked up briefly. Geralt looked up to the clouds as he reached the vehicle. They weren't all that dark or heavy yet, but he could tell they would be within a few hours. Geralt unlocked the car and opened his door, getting in.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier was a little surprised when Geralt all of a sudden stopped his hand from touching the stitches but it was for the best. Jaskier gave a sheepish smile to Geralt, a silent apology.

Jasmine chuckled under her breath from behind the counter. "No worries. Treasure that key Geralt, It's the first key I've ever done for Jaskier. He trusts you." she spoke towards him and she leaned back on the counter, this time not in a flirtatious way but just in a way in which was comfortable. One hand up, balancing her head by her jaw and the other lazing on the counter.

Jaskier smiled as his gaze glanced to the door and back to Geralt. "Let's go home," he said with a large smile. He strode over to the door which was still held open by the small wooden plank.

As soon as he stepped outside, following Geralt he felt a shiver overtake his body for a moment, goosebumps making his hair stand on end as he sniffed the air and looked up at the sky before walking to the side of the car and popping himself inside on it, shutting the door behind him.

"You know what Geralt, I hope it rains. I always love it when it rains, seems to just refresh everything, let's the day wash away, and just lets you be in the moment. I always thought of rain as a gentle romantic gesture actually." he explained as he reached for his seat belt and gently pulled it across him, satisfied once he heard the click of it.

He hoped tonight there wouldn't be a power out. Most of the time when it rained there was power outs for some unknown reason but the providers of the accommodation did pre-warn him and they had no idea either. Jaskier didn't mind but it would be dark. His trail of thought made them think if they had candles or not and a small relieved sigh escaped his lips and he leaned his head back onto the headrest behind him.

_Geralt POV_

"Hm," was Geralt's reply, but it sounded more curious and accepting than scornful. He enjoyed the rain too, though more for the reason that the sound could anchor him and drown out his thoughts for a short while. Not completely, but enough that it was easy to focus on himself and not what he was thinking. 

The part of him that liked the rain for the fact that it tended to keep people away from his clients had to do with work, he knew. That and the fact that the grumbling from said clients made the getting wet part worth it. Geralt did, in fact, care about each of the people he had ever guarded. But that didn't mean he had liked them or liked working for them.

He set the car and reverse and pulled out of his parking spot, changing the gear to drive once he could turn. He merged back onto the main road, setting course for Jaskier's apartments. It was the later side of the late afternoon. The sky was beginning to dim, though not by much. Geralt looked around as he drove. The passerby were starting to notice the clouds and the chill, or perhaps it was just getting late. Whether the case was one, neither, or both, they had slowly begun to trickle away, headed to wherever they were staying that night. Geralt kept driving.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he cursed, quietly. He wasn't going to answer it while driving, and besides, if it was Yennefer then it could wait. Vesemir he had on a special ringtone for everything, and Vesemir never texted. It probably was not work. And if it was, then he was busy with a client and it would just have to wait. He told himself it wasn't Renfri. He set whoever his current client was to a specific sound, and the text notification sound that had just sent wasn't it. She was still set to that. He hadn't added Jaskier's number to his phone yet, so hers hadn't been changed. Which reminded him, he'd need to get Jaskier's personal contact information.

_J_ _ulian POV_

With the ride home being as smooth as it was, Jaskiers eyelids were starting to close downwards slightly. He was in a haze, thinking of bits and pieces before he forces his eyes open again and decided to distract himself.

His humming started to fill the car as he decided to work on his new song as an apology. As usual, he didn't want to do it so it was a direct apology. Songs for apologies that say 'I'm sorry' could be the second most boring thing to grace his ears to him.

As they pulled up into the carpark, Jaskier smiled widely at Geralt as he let him park up the car before he took off his seat belt and spoke, breaking the second lot of silence that had come over them.

" I think there might be a blackout tonight so I'm going to get the candles out early once we get up there," he announced to no one in particular but there were only the two of them so it obviously was directed at the two of them. He turned and faced Geralt with a large grin on his face. He raised his hand and gently brushed Geralts cheek for a moment, he didn't know why he did that. It was not for himself and he knew it but Geralt had not stopped him yet so he was fine to keep doing it. If anything, his mind quickly wandered to how good of a cuddle the man may be before letting that thought go as quickly as it came.

He got out the car, opening the back door and took out the clothing, waiting for Geralt because he knew he'd probably check his phone and there was no need for them to rush. He waited, standing patiently for the man as he wanted him to use his key, wanting it to be special for Geralt.

For Jaskier, things like this were special. The small touches that say I'm here, the keys that allow people into the deepest most vulnerable side of them. He didn't expect Geralt to give any of those little spots of affection back to him, if anything he was surprised that Geralt had given back as much as he had.

He smiled as he looked around briefly as he wouldn't have to wait too long and he shivered, the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. It felt as if someone was watching them.

It's okay though. Geralt is here. Geralt will make sure nothing happens. That what he was telling himself in his head but his face had gone pale, eyes scared to look around but being forced to do so. Maybe it was paranoia-

His eyes looked at a figure from not too far away in the carpark, he shivered. It wasn't until he accidentally dropped the basket that he noticed he was actually violently shaking. Shit, here? An attack in the fucking carpark from some probably innocent person going up to their apartment. 

Jaskier bit his lip, the pain often bringing him back into reality, he could taste the metallic liquid bleeding in his mouth from his inside lip.


	6. wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: anxiety attack

_Geralt POV_

Geralt got out of the car and leaned against his shut door, pretending he couldn't still feel the phantoms of Jaskier's warm touch on his cheek. As the man moved to get the laundry out of the car, Geralt glanced around and took out his phone. There was, in fact, a text. From his brother. Who likely knew he was working. The little shit. Geralt pressed on the notification and read it anyways.

**Eskel of WC**

To: Geralt

_Geralt. Renfri's fine. Stop worrying. Focus on your new client. Do you WANT Vesemir to find out?_

Geralt frowned at the text, then clicked his phone off and shoved it back in his pocket. He wasn't worried. He was concerned and alright, maybe just a little paranoid. But that was understandable. With her situation and all. With his situation as well.

Geralt looked back to Jaskier only to see how pale he was, and how hard he was shaking. He took a step towards him as the laundry basket fell from Jaskier's fingers. Geralt placed a hand on Jaskier's shoulder, keeping his touch hard but not painful. Enough to anchor and get Jaskier's attention without leaving bruises. He saw the man biting his lip hard enough to bleed and transitioned to having both arms wrapped around him, his chest to Jaskier's back. From his position, he could see who Jaskier was looking at.

"It's alright," Geralt murmured. He freed one hand from around Jaskier's waist long enough to lock the car, then returned it. "Let's just get inside."

_Julian POV_

Jaskier was stiff, focused on the figure who was going about their normal business but slower than normal. maybe they were older, Jaskier didn't know and he couldn't really make out the face from the distance that they had. The figure looked like a blur in Jaskiers eyes now, unable to focus.

Jaskier felt the touch on his shoulder, he knew it was Geralt in the way that it had been placed onto his shoulder and the firmness settled him slightly, at least it brung Jaskier back into the real world from his haze.

Jaskier was a little shocked, well he would've normally been if he had not been an absolute shaking mess at the current point in time. He felt warmth on his back that he leaned into lightly, the gentle warmth making his heart rate calm lightly as he felt Geralts heart rate, his own trying to mimic it. His hands were still shaking but nowhere near as violently. The mere fact that Geralt could calm him that fast was what surprised Jaskier the absolute most.

He didn't take notice to where Geralts arms had wrapped around him until one of them was removed and then placed back around him. Jaskier blushed, having just noticed where his hands were. Jaskier's hand raised slowly as he placed his hands over Geralts, taking a moment to breathe as he closed his eyes, the deep rumble of Geralts voice had vibrated on his back. Jaskier waited a moment, not really wanting to move from this safe and grounded spot that he was in when inside of Geralts arms. He kept one hand on Geralts as he nodded and allowed the man to unwrap himself. Jaskier reached for the basket, picking it up with one hand and held Geralts one with his other one which was shaking even less now due to the physical contact.

Jaskier nodded, staying beside Geralt and holding onto his hand, occasionally squeezing it to make sure that it was in fact still there.

He was silent for the walk, mainly focusing on keeping himself in check, talking through physical touch again before he thought it was best to clear his mind as they reached towards the house. "Geralt? what was the text?" he asked, his voice cracking as he said Geralts name but he didn't bother to try to fix it or anything, he was sure the man didn't fully care. he was curious to know.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt led Jaskier back indoors and up the two sets of stairs to his apartment. He squeezed Jaskier's hand back, his other jammed in his pocket. He could feel his phone there, and how it took up just enough space to cramp his fingers in what was left of the pocket. He didn't remove his hand, though, not until they reached Jaskier's floor. They walked down the halls to his door. Geralt took his hand out of his pocket and reached across to his other, fumbling for a moment until he removed his key ring. The black key Jaskier had gotten him hung from it now. Geralt unlocked the door one-handed, then stuck the key back in his pocket. He took hold of Jaskier's wrist and gently freed his hand from the man.

"I'm sorry, but I have to check," he murmured in Jaskier's ear. "Stay behind me." He stepped forwards and put a hand on the doorknob. He exhaled lightly once, and opened it, stepping swiftly into the darkened room. Geralt flipped the light switch. He scanned the room, tense. No one. Carefully, with a mutter towards Jaskier of "stay put," he prowled through the rest of the rooms. Again, no one. He returned to Jaskier.

"You're safe," he said quietly and opened the door fully for him. He didn't quite know why he had to say it. He usually didn't. But it felt alright here.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nodded and waited patiently as he let Geralt walk inside first, he smiled a little to himself at the way that Geralt had the key already put on his key-ring. He waited, peeking around into the door as much as possible to try and watch Geralt, seeing what he was doing as he looked.

When Geralt came out and gave him the thumbs up, he was surprised at the fact that Geralt had spoken, Jaskier half needed it to one. Feel completely safe and two. To snap him out of him daze of worry.

"hmm?" he asked half-heartedly as his gaze started to actually focus on Geralt and not on what he was hearing, his paranoia starting to dim slightly. "oh, right. Thanks, Geralt." he said with a small hum and a smile at him. Jaskier already knew that tonight he would not be sleeping at all or if he did, He'd be surprised if it were for more than a couple of hours.

He walked inside the building before closing the door behind him. He walked over to the bathroom, pulling out a small clothing rack and some pegs. Silently he started to hang the clothes up, ensuring each peg was placed so that it wouldn't crinkle Geralts suit too much for when he had to iron it later on. There was a small cupboard in Jaskier's room, that held the supplies such as the mops and such but the clothing rack had its own little spot in the bathroom. Mainly because on days where he is too scared he could wash his clothing in the bath-shower quite happily.

Jaskier, when he was done moved the laundry basket to the bathroom and popped it just inside of the door, a small smile coming onto his face now that he had relaxed more, his nerves calming down and paranoia settling to the side. But after paranoia, he knows he gets cuddly. Instead, he decided t would be best if he stayed half on edge, busying himself in whatever he could think of. At this point in time he thought about dinner, he looked over to the kitchen before back to Geralt and gave a small smile at him. His eyes became glassy, his chest tightened a little bit as he bit his lip again, re-tasting the blood that oozed out of it. He had gotten used to the taste of the old blood but the wound had clotted and now fresh. He looked a bit at the ground. He couldn't make it so Geralt had to look after him every single time.

Jaskier felt it, the weakness he had, the damn stupidness of himself. He dragged Geralt away from his old client and he forced him to look after him. His thoughts instantly moved to the darker place of his mind. worthlessness, boring, unworthy. His thoughts raced as he stared at the ground, he started to blank out the sounds around him. Shit, he knew it was a bad idea for him to try and stay in a slightly alerted manner, he knew it was but he did it anyway and that really was not helping.

He swallowed a little bit, he hadn't been around anyone before while he was like this, the last time he was, he ended up stitching himself up in the bathroom and crying hysterically, yeah no let's not let that happen all over again. He needed to talk, he needed to say something to Geralt, anything. all he could do was shift his gaze up to Geralt and let the tears stream down his face.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt locked the door behind him and fiddled with the keys in his pockets. When Jaskier disappeared into the bathroom, Geralt listened for what he was doing then began prowling the house. He poked his head into the studio. Jaskier had said he wanted to change the plan. He'd rather practice tonight and record tomorrow. Geralt didn't have an issue with it, it wasn't his audience, after all. The only thing he had a problem with was the fact that Jaskier seemed to be doing this for him. Geralt told himself he was reading far too much into this. He moved back to the kitchen and leaned against a counter, arms braced behind him. All of today had been confusing and almost too much, and he just wanted it to be over at this point. Over didn't necessarily mean asleep, though. Over just meant over.

Then Jaskier emerged from the bathroom, giving him a small smile. Geralt almost returned it, hesitating when Jaskier bit his lip again and it started bleeding. He watched, aching to cross to the man but unsure if the gesture was watched. When Jaskier's blue eyes met his amber, and the tears started flowing down his face, Geralt pushed himself off the counter. He stopped in front of Jaskier, maybe a cubit from him. Within arm's reach, certainly.

"What can I do?" He asked. "How do I help you?"

_Julian POV_

Jaskier didn't know. He didn't know what Geralt could do for him, all he knew was he was sad, very sad, and stuck mentally in a place where no one should ever have to be. His breathing was ragged, he had a pounding headache and as soon as he heard Geralt ask how he could help, Jaskier moved to the man and wrapped his arms around Geralts waist, clinging onto the material of his jacket. He ducked his head down so his forehead was on the man's shoulder, leaning into the man as he sobbed into Geralt.

Tears fell, the smell of salt filling the air around the two of them as Jaskier spoke, hiccuping and between sobs. "G-Geralt why do I-I fuck everything u-up and I've forced you into t-this job and I'm so worthless I am s-so sorry." he tried to speak in one fluid sentence.

The words "I'm sorry." spilled from his lips in an uncontrollable manner, Gods why the fuck couldn't he do anything right. Even his emotions he couldn't get in check and he broke down in front of his bodyguard like what, 3 times already and it's been one fucking day.

Jaskier didn't know what to do, he was lost, confused and all he knew was how much his head fucking hurt and how he was trying to keep vile from rising out of his stomach from how tight his stomach was becoming with emotion.

After a moment he pulled his head back from Geralts shoulder and looked at him with his face contorted. His eyes were all smudged, his lip was quivering as he felt a trickle of blood come out from his lips where he hadn't swallowed the blood from his cut. "I-I am so sorry Geralt," he said, almost as if he was pleading for forgiveness, for a sign that it was okay and that Geralt didn't hate him because right now, and it showed more than ever, Jaskier only hated himself.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt wrapped his arms around Jaskier's upper back, holding onto him as tightly as he dared. He let the man sob into his neck and shoulder, not at all minding how his shirt was getting wet. "You've fucked nothing up," he muttered, the words angrier than he realized he had felt. None of the anger was directed at Jaskier, only at their situation. At what had happened to bring them there and what had happened since then. 

He knew Jaskier craved physical contact, particularly for comfort, and he gave it, trailing his fingers slowly up and down the man's back. He turned his head to be was essentially nuzzling the side of Jaskier's head and inhaled, smelling the soaps he had used that morning. Gods, was it only that morning? It felt like a lifetime ago.

"You did nothing wrong," he said, softer this time, the words a low vibration against Jaskier's skin. "You didn't know it would be me sent to you." He breathed against him for a short time. "You're not worthless, Jaskier. You are many things, I've learned, but worthless doesn't make the list." He pressed his face in tighter, hiding himself in the scent of Jaskier. When the other man pulled back, eyes and lip a mess, Geralt felt a painful twinge of guilt and sympathy.

"There is nothing to forgive," he whispered into the silence of Jaskier's mumbled apologies. "You haven't done anything wrong." He kept his arms around Jaskier, their faces only a few inches apart. Amber eyes remained steadily trained on blue.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier looked at Geralt, he couldn't help but let more tears flow down out of relief. Jaskier's stomach stopped clenching as much but the after-effects of the muscles in his stomach clenching so hard made it still feel just as painful, just not tight.

He took a moment of processing what Geralt had said, a tiny smile creeping up on his mouth in the corner of his lips as he looked to Geralt with something which looked much along the lines of envy along with a shit tonne of relief, which was accurate.

Jaskier lifted his hand up to Geralts face slightly and stroked his cheek, the fastest way to make sure Jaskier felt okay in himself would be by helping other people, Geralt was there and he felt something towards Geralt. His unconditional love for him, not in a romantic way he didn't think but just in general.

"Thank you Geralt." he said as his sobs calmed themselves eventually. "Thank you." he said as he stroked Geralts cheek, looking right into those gorgeous Amber eyes of Geralts. "I-" he was about to say something, anything, something to let Geralt know he loved him but he can't just say I love you to a grown-ass man who was his bodyguard and also had a girlfriend. He looked down at the floor, unsure of what to say, holding himself back before he looked back up into Geralts eyes with the tiniest smile coming onto his face. Some tears still rolled down quite freely and his throat was tight but at least it wasn't in his gut and forced out like before.

"Why does it seem every time you put on a suit, I have to put my salty tears and mucus all over you. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to get changed into informal clothes because I-" his voice cracked as he tried to crack a small joke "You're probably going to get cried on tonight Geralt. and I'm sorry, that you have to deal with me being in this state. But I am not emotionally stable in any way and my emotions will be a bit of a rollercoaster for now." he admitted with a small smile as he stroked Geralt's cheekbone with his thumb, tender and lovingly. He leaned in, gently placing a kiss on the other side of where Jaskiers hand was stroking, He stayed there, not moving away with his lips pressed to the man's cheek in a silent prayer of thanks to whoever the fuck was out there and listening.

_Geralt POV_

"It's fine," Geralt murmured. "It's fine." He let Jaskier stroke his one of his cheeks and kiss the other. If the man craved comfort, he could have it. Geralt didn't mind getting cried on. It was a sign of trust, for him. Jaskier should be told such or at least something along those lines.

"I would rather deal with an emotional client than a stone-like one. Cry all you want." And that was true. Though perhaps he could have, probably should have, worded it more elegantly. Fuck. With Jaskier in this state, he probably didn't need Geralt thinking of him as a client, not with how they were standing or how they had opened up to each other over just this first day. Jaskier was going to be one of the clients he missed, wasn't he?

He gently untangled himself from the man, letting his last touches be slow and lingering. "I can go change," he said softly, not yet letting go of one of Jaskier's hands. "Do you want to start on dinner? Gather your candles?" Simple, easy directions, and for things Jaskier had already expressed an interest in doing. That was where Geralt would start.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's face brightened up a little, he missed the contact but he could have more of it later and Geralt really should be allowed to go get changed. He let out a light laugh as he smiled at Geralt "That's a point." he agreed with Geralt on that. If he were stone-cold it would be a bit crappy, he couldn't envision himself as a cold and hard client.

He nodded at Geralt. "Dinner and candles," he said with a small smile. He moved over to the Kitchen and carefully got out the ingredients that he needed, potato, sweet potato, leeks, parsley, some sage, rosemary, carrots, and parsnip. It's mainly because that's all he had at the moment but he had quite a lot of each one. He pulled out one of each seeming as there would only be the two of them, he would have to tell Geralt he won't be eating after this until 48 hours or so, that way he could decide on what to make. Hopefully, if it rained into tomorrow they wouldn't have to go anywhere.

He moved to a chopping board, getting the vegetables as he hummed along and sang a segment of a song he was yet to release, which would have to be the Livestream. He wrote a post already stating that they should look out because Jaskier will live stream his new song soon.

_"like a breeze in the trees we never really know_

_which direction we are going_

_which way we are gonna go_

_like the sea on a windy day_

_we never really know how hard it's going_

_until someone drowns."_

He lightly sung along to his own song until he had mixed up some veggie stock with some water, shoved it all in a pot, and put it on high on the element to leave it to cook for itself for around an hour. He turned around, looking for Geralt. It was nice to just visually see him have comfort that he was there and well. "Geralt?" he spoke lightly, not in a demanding call but a careful one to ensure he didn't accidentally seem like he was ordering him around.

_Geralt POV_

As Jaskier went over to the kitchen, Geralt fetched his duffle bag and made for the room Jaskier said was his. He pushed the door open and stepped inside. It was simple and in dark colors. There was a bed in the far right corner, the length along the right wall. A window directly ahead of the door, a desk before it. There was a folding chair set up in front of the desk, which was mercifully clear of papers. At the foot of the bed was a chest of drawers, where he could stash whatever he night need to. Geralt decided unpacking could wait. 

For now, he stripped off his suit jacket and unbuttoned the shirt he had on under it. He tossed both onto the foot of the bed and pulled off his shoes. Those he placed neatly by the foot of the bed. He turned to his duffle bag, which he had set on the carpet that covered the half of the room the bed was on and unzipped it. He took out clothing he was more likely to sleep in when he felt like changing clothes for sleep.

Geralt pulled on the loose black shirt and laced the ties it had by his upper chest. He changed into black sweatpants as well, pulling on a pair of yes, black socks. They were the kind with rubber grips at the bottom, however. Couldn't be too careful. If he got in a fight tonight then sliding everywhere or falling would not be the way to do it. He debated getting his hair, then decided it could wait a few minutes. He touched the pocket of his bag that contained the razors and blades. Still there.

That done, Geralt moved back out into the hallway, closing the door gently behind him. Jaskier called his name. He passed into the room the man was in, stopping in the entrance to the hallway. His eyes flicked to the pot on the stove. Whatever Jaskier was making specifically, he could smell its pleasant scent.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled up at him before taking note of his clothing, visibally taking note of the man's appearance. "I know you have a good figure, But you have a lovely waist." he blurted out as he blinked a couple of times before he blushed a little and looked at his hands. "sorry, that was rather direct of me. I can't help but love the arts of the body so if I make comments that make you uncomfortable then please tell me." he said as his cheeks became a slightly darker shade.

Jaskier's gaze finally stopped lingering on Gerals hips, damn he had nice hips as well. You could tell with the suit he wore and Jaskier always liked a man in a good suit, but their casual clothes where there were no rules spoke more than anything about a person and Geralt to Jaskier, just looked so damn soft and cuddly as he was. 

"Ah, did you want a drink? Wine, aged whiskey, I'm more of a red wine person. Finer drinks in life as some would say. We don't have to get drunk but just a glass." he said with a light chuckle "you can refuse if you would like but the offer is there." He said as he moved to the wine bottle rack and looked over it. "If you do then I have the perfect wine for the both of us, you actually remind me of it." he said with a light chuckle as he moved from the cheaper wines to the more expensive ones as he put a hand to his chin that had now been cleaned and stroked his chin as he looked over the bottles. He made a mental note that he should shave when he ha a shower tonight, he could feel the start of his growth on his face.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt felt the tips of his ears begin to burn, and for no good reason. No good reason at all. He had been complimented before. This wasn't something new. Everything felt new with Jaskier, for some reason. He was glad his hair was messy enough right now that they covered the redness of his ears.

"I don't usually drink on the job," he murmured. "For obvious reasons." He hesitated. There weren't technically rules against it, just his own Code. Then he smiled slyly, smile as small as ever but the expression got across just fine. "But I can make an exception for tonight." One glass. That was all Jaskier had said. That was fine. It took more than that to get him drunk. And Jaskier had just said that that wasn't his intention.

He approached the kitchen, leaning against the counter of the island and watching as Jaskier picked through bottles of wine and hummed to himself. When Jaskier touched his own chin, running against the small but of stubble, Geralt's mind for a flip and tried to convince him to come clean and, at the same time, wanted him to hide the evidence and himself from the world put of shame. Geralt ignored the voice. He was overreacting. He had known he would have to come clean to Jaskier sooner or later. 

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he picked up two bottles and compared the two of them. he chuckled and put one back before holding up a bottle. "One glass of Domaine de la Romanee-Conti Romanee-Conti Grand Cru 1990 made in Burgundy, France coming right up," he said with a light chuckle as he moved to the cabinet next to it, opening and looking through before pulling out two crystal wine glasses, the patterning of it showing it was a true crystal in the way it had been shaped. the exterior of it had texture from the cuts made into it whereas the interior of the class was smooth to ensure that not drop would go left without it being tasted.

"It is a little bit pricey but it's one of the best and I remember drinking it with my mother, it brings back kind memories so I thought I'd like to add to the significance of it and have a glass with you," he explained as he placed the two wine glasses down on the top of the island. The wine was indeed very expensive, especially seeming it was imported only added to the price which was known to be roughly around 21,000 dollars.

Jaskier opened the bottle and smiled as the cork came out with a satisfying pop. He poured the glasses ensuring the tip of the bottle didn't touch the glass, an old habit he was used to from back in London. Once he had poured it he popped the wine bottle to the side and pushed Geralts glass to him by the base with a fond smile on his lips, awaiting him to try it. "have a sip, tell me what you think. If you don't like it then it's quite alright, it is still a memory." he said as he stared at Geralt with a bashful look, slightly nervous if he would enjoy the sleek smooth taste.

His heart was pounding in his chest, Geralt out of uniform looked.. different. good, relaxed. like he was comfortable. Jaskier could nearly drool at the man's waist though. He would have to draw Geralt at some point if the man would let him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt watched as Jaskier selected a bottle and took out the glasses. He looked to the man's face as he said that he not only had this wine associated with his mother but that he wanted to expand on it with Geralt. Geralt was a bodyguard. HIS bodyguard. Why? Everything Geralt had done for him so far had just been his job, and if it hadn't, then it could easily be brushed off as such. But Jaskier seemed determined in his quest to make Geralt feel at home. He didn't mind quite as much as he thought he would have.

Geralt watched as Jaskier poured, having shifted so that he was leaning against the counter with one hip to it versus his back. His arms remained crossed, but he didn't mean to seem closed off. It was just how he was comfortable standing. When Jaskier slid the glass over to him, Geralt cautiously reached for it. He picked it up by the stem of the glass and brought it to his lips. He took a sip. It tasted... complex seemed to be the best word for it. There were glimpses of fruit, mostly stronger and acidic though. He thought one might be cherry. There were also some meatier flavors and gamy notes. He lowered the glass.

"Thank you," he said, almost to his own surprise. And he was grateful, he found. Grateful that Jaskier had decided to include him in the memories he had, even if he wasn't sure what he had done to deserve it.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled widely as he saw Geralt take a sip, he seemed to of enjoyed it as to what Jaskier could tell. Jaskier was a little taken back when Geralt told him thank you. His heart pounded a little harder and he scolded himself, telling himself it was the excitement of having such a fine wine. He gave a nod in acknowledgment with a light chuckle, a silly man for thanking him. Jaskier should be the Othe thanking Geralt, not the other way around.

He picked up his own glass of wine and brung it to his lips. He let out a tiny sigh into the beautiful crystal, only a very faint puff of air a little forcefully let go out of his lungs. He took a sip of the wine as he hummed and allowed the flavor to develop in his mouth, gods it was glorious. He let out a light noise of pleasure which honestly sounded like a very light moan.

He held the cup in his left hand as he lifted the pot lid of the soup and sniffed it. It'll need a little while before it was done.

He chuckled to himself lightly at the memory of the first time he had cooked with his mother. He had cut his hand three times just trying to peel one potato, it was chaos really. There was blood everywhere and the servents were freaking out and getting frustrated as they had to stop their work to patch him up.

Jaskier snapped back to reality and swiftly moved one foot after the other over to Geralt and where he was standing. He leaned against the counter next to him with a large grin playing at his lips as he took a tiny sip from his wine and placed it down, turning so he was facing Geralt but still leaning against the counter with his side.

He couldn't help it. He reached out a little bit, hesitating for a moment before lifting his hand up and touching the man's cheekbone lightly with his fingertips. "You really do have such a handsome face, Geralt." he meant it, not in an I'm trying to sleep with you way but as an observation. One filled with admiration and curiosity, a gaze which might seem heavy to some. 

He let his very fingertips move from this cheekbone to his jaw, the light feel of his skin and rough stubble made Jaskier smile even more, fond of how nicely the man suited it. He took a moment to imagine Geralt without it and nearly wrinkled his nose up. Sure, it would look nice. But he wouldn't have the same rough look. And he didn't think his heart could take it honestly. 

He let his fingers trail lightly off of his chin where he had stroked down to and hummed lightly as he looked at Geralts lips, he knew they were nice but never bothered to stop and look at them. They were formed perfectly, in a shape where if the man gave a toothy grin he'd still look just as beautiful as he did with a blank face. He let a tiny smile tug the corner of his own lips up before he cupped geralts cheek properly. 

The man was like a living sculpture. It confused Jaskier to no end, did he have surgeries? He didn't seem like the type. Seems he must've just been born so perfectly.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt set his glass down on the counter as Jaskier observed him. What could the man want from this? Geralt knew he was beautiful, or at least he had been told so by enough clients and strangers to stop wanting to deny the words each time. They meant little now. But Jaskier, if Geralt looked closer, didn't seem to have any other intent. 

Didn't seem to want Geralt in that way. He was just admiring him. That was fine. Geralt let him stroke down his jaw and off his chin as Jaskier stared at his lips. Geralt watched him carefully, but Jaskier still seemed to just be admiring him. That expression stayed as the man cupped his cheek and gave a tiny smile, thinking.

Geralt retaliated, not in a mean way, just in a way that got them on equal footing, by raising his hands from the counter and his side. The one that hadn't been resting on the counter went to Jaskier's waist, resting there lightly on his hip. The other he lifted to Jaskier's shoulder. He was testing the boundaries of this. Could they both examine each other, or could only Jaskier? 

He would rather know sooner than later. So far, the man hadn't seemed to mind his touch, but Geralt had done it when he felt Jaskier had needed him to, not just because they were standing here, so why not? The smaller frame felt familiar in his arms, despite the fact they had known each other maybe twelve hours, from four or five that morning to around the same time that evening. Though, upon glancing at the clock hanging on the wall, he saw it was much closer to six now.


	7. touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: none

_  
Julian POV_

Jaskier's face didn't change too much as he felt Geralt pull away slightly from his touch, his brows slightly held more tension but as soon as he felt Geralt's hand move to his hip he felt all the tension go away. He looked to Geralt before copying his action is placing his own glass down atop of the counter where it stood side by side with Geralt's.

Jaskier attention moved back to Geralt, Jaskier hip must've felt relatively bony compared to Geralt's Muscle coated ones. He leaned his hip slightly into the touch as he felt the man's larger hand move to Jaskier's shoulder. If it had been fast, Jaskier would've jumped out of his skin. But just as it was in the car park a few hours ago downstairs, it was soft. Gentle again.

Jaskier let a smile tug at his lips again as he brought his hand to Geralt's neck, hesitant as he knew, as a singer, how precious the neck could be. It was also a rather delicate place but the ridges and smoothness of it, Jaskier wanted to gently place his hand on it and feel every dip in the skin, feel the Adam's apple of him, move his hand to the back of his neck and gently run it down to his collar bones to feel how muscular Geralt actually was or not.

His hand hovered on the side of Geralt's neck, he moved his fingers close enough so he could feel the hear of Geralt's neck radiate onto his fingertips. His gaze moved from his hand to examine the features of Geralt's face once again, trying to see if he missed any detail before he moved his eyes up and stared, his baby blues were bright in the kitchen lighting as he stared into the Amber ones in front of him, silent permission for him to be able to touch his neck or not.

Geralt wasn't the only one testing boundaries at the moment. Jaskier was too, seeing where he could touch, how much he could touch, how much would be okay. He wanted to find where it hurt metaphorically for Geralt and where he found the greatest pleasure by having physical touch drawn to it, not in a sexual way but a comfort or happy way.

_Geralt POV_

"Hm," Geralt said, granting Jaskier permission to touch his neck. He lowered his head slightly, tipping it maybe a centimeter towards the man. Geralt's own hand moved from Jaskier's shoulder to down his arm, slowly running his fingers down the other's shirt sleeve. Jaskier was warm, pleasantly so. He gave off a subtle heat, warm only to the touch, but it was there. Geralt kept his touch light, neither familiar enough with this man nor at ease with startling him to add pressure. 

He started to trail his fingers back up Jaskier's arm, the whole process a bit awkward since that was the side the counter was on. But he did it anyway and made his way back up to Jaskier's shoulder. He trailed his fingers inwards, not necessarily towards his throat but across his collarbone, feeling the ridges of it under Jaskier's shirt.

The hand he had on Jaskier's hip stayed there, his thumb gently stroking the man's waist. This was comfortable. This was oddly intimate, but in a comfortable manner, especially considering they were little more than strangers. Yes, they had met only recently, but in that time, they had already spent much of it in each other's company and had learned a great deal. Geralt had learned more about Jaskier than likely Jaskier had learned about him, but the process went both ways nevertheless.

He wondered if he should say something. Not a complaint or a request for Jaskier to back off. Something more akin to a compliment, though he was notoriously bad at those. Might be better not to risk it, then. Still, Jaskier had commented on him, he felt perhaps he should be doing the same. But maybe not. So instead he watched Jaskier's eyes as the man traced his fingers over Geralt. They were beautiful, really. They were a light cornflower blue, and though they were tinged with sadness, fear, and cracks, Geralt could see how they held laughter and joy as well.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he let Geralt's fingers trail over his body. As soon as Geralt reached Jaskiers collarbone, his eyebrows rose slightly, the tiniest movement in surprise that he would touch him there of all places. It was nice, comfortable, so damn gentle. Jaskier couldn't help but stare at his fingertips as he lightly let them touch Geralt's throat, well the side of it actually. The muscles on his neck were hot, probably always being how due to the fact that he had probably 1% fat to actually store heat inside of himself.

Jaskier's eyes were on Geralt's collarbone as he slid his fingers lightly over to Geralt's center of his throat, just under the chin before extremely lightly running his fingers down and over Geralt's Adam's apple.

Jaskier moved, very slowly to ensure neither of their touched was compromised. He was no longer leaning against the counter as he gently trailed his hand onto Geralt's collarbone, playing his other hand at his hip to mimic what the other man was doing. His plan was to follow whatever the other man decided to do. 

If they were going to learn each other's bodies, it's only right they know information about the same places. Jaskier moved a little close to Geralt so he could place his hand properly onto the larger man's hip, their chests were only a few inches away from each other and Jaksiers body temperature was relatively hot at this point in time, he'd blame it on the wine.

Jaskier's eyes trailed back up along Geralt's body so that he stared rather intensely this time into the other man's eyes. The intensity wasn't that of lust or want or authority. But one of gentle love for him, compassion, love without reason. He stared into those Amber eyes, daring to inch a bit closer so he could only see the Amber of Geralt's eyes, he could feel the light breeze of Geralt's breath on his face as he stared into his eyes, gentle with admiration and desire. Desire to find out who the man was. What were his greatest fears? What was it that made him happy?

_Geralt POV_

Geralt, upon feeling how Jaskier shifted off the counter, did the same, planting himself on his own feet now. He trailed the hand he had on Jaskier's collarbone up to the base of his throat, one finger brushing the hollow there. He fought the strange urge to press his mouth there. Now was not the time. Nor the person. Honestly. Getting to know a client was one thing, but he did still have Yennefer to think of. Though if he was being entirely honest, he had his doubts about her faith. But that was unimportant right now, and he pushed those thoughts away.

Jaskier was a beauty, he thought. He really was. He had a slimmer frame than Geralt and was a bit shorter. Geralt brought his fingers slowly up to Jaskier's chin, sliding them sideways along his jaw to cup his jaw. He brushed his thumb over the man's cheek, watching those bright blue eyes that were staring right back into his amber.

When was the last time he had been held like this? Thought of and touched like this? Sex was fine, it really was, but Geralt had never been the type of man who was overly into it. He would enjoy it, but he preferred gentler moments like this one. The wannabe playboy-rockstar seemed to be craving the same, at least for right now. Geralt would take what he could get of the softness. He knew it wouldn't last. It never did.

_Julain POV_

Jaskier leaned happily into the touches on his chin, neck, cheek, all of it. As he felt Geralt move his hand against the bard's body, Jaskier mimicked it on Geralt's, ending up with his hand cupping Geralt's cheek and gently allowing his thumb to rub over his cheek. A grin was on Jaskier's face. Not his usual witty or cocky grin but his softer more gentle grin.

Geralt's touches were so soft, so gentle, it was almost captivating the way that he worshipped Jaksier's body as he was. Jaskier decided to go off course, making an action of his own instead of following the man's touch again. He moved his hand that was on Geralt's waist, seemingly as they were closer now, to the small of Geralt's back where he pressed his palm openly against it before curling his fingers in slightly so he could use his nails and fingertips to lightly stroke up and down a part of the bulkier man's back.

Jaskier's eyes didn't leave Geralt's, he leaned forwards, kissing Geralt's chin lightly before shifting his balance onto the pads of his feet, brushing his lips from there to the man's jaw, then up to the man's cheekbone before his eyes trailed in reverse where he had kissed before his gaze was at Geralt's chin, flickering up slightly even though he begged it not to as his hand slipped from Geralt's cheek down to his jaw and trailed down his jaw. His fingertips lightly ghosting on his chin as his gaze moved from his lips and up to Geralt's eyes.

He hadn't meant for the urge to kiss the man to come. It was natural to Jaskier, his way of affection. But he had looked at Geralt's lips, they couldn't possibly, Geralt had a girlfriend. His conscious mind screamed at him to pull back and run but his subconsciousness allowed his heart rate to speed up slightly as he flickered from eye to eye of Geralt's, as if he were searching for something before he jumped at a light bang. He had been so caught up in the moment he forgot about the soup. How long had they been standing and caressing each other lightly?

He pulled back, surprise taking over him as his gaze went to the pot wildly before he sighed. The pot lid had slid from its angle that it was balanced on and made the lid sit flatly. He blushed and cleared his throat, what thought he had previously made his face warm but he ignored it as he moved to the pot swiftly out of Geralt's grasp and fixed it, angling it again and turning the temperature down before he turned and looked back to Geralt with a chuckle and looked at the clock. It was half six, he had left it to boil for half an hour so it was expected the pot reacted the way it did. He definitely was blaming the wine.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt felt his eyes try to flutter shut as Jaskier pressed kisses along his jaw and cheek then moved back down. He slid his own hand from Jaskier's hip to around his waist, palm on his lower back. He watched as the man's eyes darted down to his lips. Yennefer. Dammit, he was on a mission here, he couldn't afford to get distracted. Couldn't afford to let either of them get attached. He was Jaskier's bodyguard and not a very good one at that. He cared about the people in his assignments far too much. This was just something from the heat of the moment. They'd been drinking, Jaskier more than himself, and now they were standing close to each other and brushing hands along faces. Of course, their thoughts would be going towards kissing each other. But it meant nothing. Or if it did, it meant very little. Geralt had a job. He protected, got paid, and left, and would continue repeating the cycle until he either quit or was killed on the job.

Geralt didn't flinch at the sound of the pot lid falling shut, but his eyes did move to it. Away from Jaskier's blue. That was safer, so he didn't return to meet the man's gaze after he had looked away. Jaskier seemed to come to his senses and backed away, clearing his throat and blushing as he did so. Geralt took that in, watching as he adjusted the lid and then turned back to him, laughing even. Geralt gave a tiny smile in return, his eyes meeting Jaskier's again.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier felt his face still warm as he chuckled a little bit and looked to both their glasses of wine. Shit. He was trying to blame the alcohol and both of their glasses looked as if they had barely been touched. He snapped out of his thought as his eyes met to Amber ones again as a smile crept up his lips more, a facial expression of pure admiration as he looked over Geralt's facial features once again before raising an eyebrow and looking to those damn Amber eyes. The amount he looked at them tonight made sure that it was going to stain his memory.

"Did you want anything else with the soup? I usually just have that and leftovers go in the fridge. Ah I mean tôt tell you but I uh" he paused but only for a brief moment "I got occupied. By the wine." he quickly added as he tried to miserably cover up what he had said.

"I won't be eating for probably another 48 hours so tomorrow you could have the leftovers or you could make something of your own. Also, was there anything personal you'd like to get? Ah and we need to discuss schedule, mine is about as consistent as a dice roll but I can tell you I am repetitive in what I do. So you know it's up to you, I'm sure we can work something out great. So I basically work in the recording studio most the time, as I said, feel free to actually knock on the door and come in and see me if you want and I don't have a sign out saying I'm recording. But I'll usually let you know prior. I don't eat for 48 hours around the time of lives and I also don't eat at all while I'm composing. I'm surprised I'm eating something tonight actually. " he started to ramble on. He needed to. He needed to cover up the events where they almost god damn kissed and he hadn't even been here a day and was taken. Jaskier had no motive for that to of happened but the fact was that it did.

He moved back to his glass of wine with a smile "oh and another half hour and it should be done." he explained as he moved back next to Geralt, keeping the same amount of distance as he normally would.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt took in that information. He could work with that. Jaskier not eating would warrant keeping an eye on him, but the man had evidently done it before and likely had something worked out. Geralt didn't mind leaving him to his own devices in that case.

"I'm alright with just soup," he said. "I don't eat much." He had expected to eat later tonight when he had thought about it this morning. Even if his client had insisted on feeding him, he hadn't expected it to be this early in the night. He wasn't complaining, it was just newer.

"And I don't mind your schedule. I'm not going anywhere." He wouldn't be, not unless Jaskier either asked him to leave or wanted to go somewhere else. Geralt was used to spending a lot of time waiting, by now he had a routine worked out. It was fairly simple, and most times it was affected by what was around him. Mostly it was reading, meditating, and light exercise.

When Jaskier came back over to him, reaching for his glass, Geralt shifted so he was leaning against the counter with one hip again, watching him. He didn't know what Jaskier had planned. Even now, as he looked out one of the kitchen windows, he could see the light rain beginning to fall. It fell at an angle, pattering against the window. He knew it would pick up later, but for now, it was still light.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he hummed, nodding his head in agreement to all that he was saying. His mind was mainly still on the fact he could still feel the tingle of Geralt's breath over his lips.

He blinked a couple of times before he listened, now that silence echoed he heard the rain start to come down lightly. He took a fair sip of his wine before placing it back down gently, aiming to go towards his room. He lightly ran his fingers along Geralts chest in feather touches, mainly to let him know that he was going to go to his room and be out anytime soon. They were the only two there so the gesture was sort of meaningless apart from the fact Jaskier liked to gently touch Geralt with as much love as possible whenever he could.

Jaskier walked quickly away, going into his room, a little bit of shuffling heard from where Geralt was as Jaskier looked around the walls before smiling widely as he found a basket full of candles, matches and a few oils that he liked to rub on at nights that he couldn't sleep. Or nights that he forced himself awake on.

He picked it up before walking back out past Geralt and grabbed one of the side tables that he had from the side of the couch and moved it to the center of the room, placing two candles down as he moved to the other small table which he placed one on. That should be enough in order for them to see. All of the candles were a light purple, scented with lavender oils as he grabbed the matches and lit the candles. As soon as it rained, the blackout happens within the first 20 minutes. He did over boil the poor veggies a little bit so hopefully, they should be right anyways.

As he lit the last candle before walking over to the kitchen and lit another one that he freshly picked up out of the basket. He had two left in the basket but he didn't bother to touch them. He left the basket on the couch where the table had been removed from, ensuring it would be safe there.

He placed the candle down in the middle of the island. Just as his fingers left the candle to leave it there as he blew the match out and placed it next to it he jumped as there was a fizzing noise and all the lights in the house went off including the oven and all the electronics.

Jaskier sighed lightly. "Ah shit, I was hoping we had at least another 15 minutes." he admitted as he moved over to the oven and turned all of it off, switching off what he could as he turned to Geralt and shrugged "At least we have hot soup, I can't say that it is ready though and I don't eat hot foods. But if you want, dig in," he said cheerily as he grabbed his glass of wine off of the island and trailed his hand lightly over Geralt's side while nodding his head towards the couch in a gesture that he would be over there.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt nodded as Jaskier brushed his chest then left for his room. The bodyguard waited patiently, leaning against the counter. He nudged Jaskier's glass further from the edge of it, then after a thought pushed his own back as well. Might as well be careful. If, as Jaskier said, the power would be going out, he might as well try to keep the more breakable things out of the way. When Jaskier came back, Geralt hadn't moved. He watched as the man dragged the end tables, lit the candles, and set the basket down. The scent of lavender and burning wax filled the air, which wasn't unpleasant. The rain picked up, and there was a fizzing sound.

Geralt flinched as the power went out, then gritted his teeth. This was why Jaskier had lit the candles. He was grateful the man had thought to do so, and that he had had the supplies on hand. He grunted in acknowledgement of Jaskier's comment on the soup and waited until his eyes had adjusted further to the change in lighting. He opened a few cabinets until he found, partly by feel and partly by sight, a bowl and spoon. There was already a ladle by the pot. Geralt closed the cabinets and returned to the stove. He served himself a helping of the soup and retreated to where Jaskier sat, sitting on the other part of the turn on the couch so they were at least partly facing each other.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier hummed with his glass of wine in hand. He probably should make a duck soup or a bird of sort. He chuckled lightly to himself, he'd just have to have the rest of the bottle with something similar. It takes a while for that wine to go off, a month maybe which was nice and convenient actually.

He sat down as he relaxed, crossing his leg of the other as he hummed and took a light sip of his drink, smiling as he saw Geralt take some of the soup that he made. Jaskier's smile turned into a grin, he was happy he could do something for Geralt. He only hoped it tasted alright, the flavors would've infused into the vegetables but not overpower their own taste, leaving a special lightness to it.

His eyes followed as Geralt walked over and sat down as smiled gently. At him, being silent to allow the man to eat in peace. That's didn't stop the man from humming a couple of vocals though, it was a soft gentle and kind tune that flowed together nicely, he ensures he was extremely quiet about it, not wanting to take Geralt's apatite from him.

After a few moments, his humming faded into the night air as he sudden heaviness of the rain outside hammed unforgivingly at the windows and roof. It was cold as well, the air even I'm the apartment after cooking and with the candles lit, it still left him with a slight chill.

He looked to Geralt, trying to ignore it as he ran his free hand through his own hair to pull it off of his face.

"Good?" he asked simply, expecting a simple reply from Geralt as he was in fact eating.

He placed his wine down on the side table before going to stretch and by God's was he happy he placed it down due to the fact of what happened next. Lightning was heard and created a flash of light to come into the apartment through the windows and it made Jaskier jump out of his skin, eyes whirling to where the light came in before he swallowed and ré collected himself, chuckling a little at himself as he rubbed his hands together. His skin was cold to the touch.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt started spooning the soup into his mouth. It wasn't yet done, some of the vegetables still a tad bit less soft than Jaskier had probably been aiming for. It was good nonetheless. The man knew what he was doing, Geralt gave him that.

He felt Jaskier's eyes on him as he ate, but kept his own on the bowl resting in his hand as best he could. He didn't actually mind the humming, it filled the room with Jaskier's presence. Or would have, has it been louder. Was the man trying to do Geralt a service? Really, he didn't have to. He grunted in response to Jaskier's question, meaning "yes."

As Jaskier set his wine glass aside, Geralt finished his bowl of the soup. He made to get up as the lightning flashes, illuminating the apartment in a handful of sharp and fluttering flashes before sinking away. He heard the thunder a few seconds later, loud and clear and sounding to be nearby. He stood fully, returning to the kitchen area to set his dishes in the sink. His thoughts went to Cirilla, his adopted daughter. Her parents had made him godfather before they passed. Now, she lived half with him and half with Yennefer, depending on what kind of job they had at any given point. She'd be seeing a lot of Yennefer this month, he remarked silently to himself.

Geralt returned to the couch, taking the same seat as before. He didn't turn to face Jaskier this time, though. Instead, he leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared into the carpet, still thinking.

He knew Ciri had a fear of storms. She was still young, of course, and he was pretty sure her parents had died in one. The details were fuzzy. But Ciri lived with him now. She didn't mind rain or wind, he knew she loved being outside in them, much to Yennefer's dismay. It was the thunder and lightning that got her every time, waking her up or making her think of her deceased parents. He hoped Yennefer was with her now. Ciri'd be home from school, she didn't need to be alone.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier had smiled internally as he heard that Geralt did indeed like the soup. He was glad that he liked it, he hadn't tried it so he could only pray that it tasted alright.

He watched as Geralt stood, moved to the kitchen and came back. He seemed to be in relatively deep thought. Now that Jaskier had heard the lightning and knew that it was there, he didn't jump at it again but it did make his hand clench against his other one that was balled into a fist. He watched Geralt smiling slightly to himself. He wanted to reach out, touch him to gain some form of comfort because if the coolness of the night, the expression on Geralts face and the damn fucking lightning that he refused to let anyone know that he was slightly afraid of. Now thunder he could do but lightning with the damn lights that flash, not a chance.

Just as if it were qued to happen, there was another flash and Jaskier tightened the grip on his own hand, knuckles staring to go white from the tightness of his own hold. He felt the goosebumps come over his chest and body, maybe he should grab a blanket. He hated using blankets with candlelit though because last time he got candle wax on it with no idea of how he managed to do it. And wax on fluffy blankets was rather a nuisance.

Jaskier stared at his hands with a light pattern of thought. What order was he going to do his live in? He felt like it depended who was online and how many people were watching at once. He'd be able to read the comments of the Livestream as he would play which he usually didn't but he noted them mentally and answered them after it. Maybe he'd allow a q and a. He wasn't sure with the recent events though, the news wasn't exactly private with what had been going on with Jaskier and the first time he goes on will always be a-

Jaskier jumped, having been so deep in thought he forgot bout the damn big bolts of light coming down from the sky.

He gasped as heard it was close and jumped next to Geralt, reaching out and holding onto whatever he could that was close to him. Geralt's shoulder is more than likely. He gripped a fist full of material by accident, staring at the window before back to Geralt as he let go of his shoulder, he hadn't meant to of done it but he body was needing it. Not to mention the fact that he could feel the warmth radiating off of Geralt and Jaksiers cold hand touch Geralt's shoulder probably made Geralt feel cold if anything. He sighed before he laughed lightly only a couple times, more so nervously as he retreated from clinging to Geralt's shoulder.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt looked up at the second flash of lightning, noting Jaskier's expression and paleness. He wondered if he should say anything. But it wasn't his place to. No matter how friendly Jaskier was, Geralt was still the underling. If Jaskier wanted comfort, the man would have to seek it. Geralt couldn't outright give it.

When another bolt hit, and Jaskier threw himself at Geralt, clutching at his shoulder and moving closer to him, Geralt couldn't truthfully say he was displeased. He could help this way. He wanted to wrap an arm around Jaskier (really, when DID the man get so cold?), but Jaskier retreated before he could. Geralt hesitated as Jaskier laughed nervously and backed off. Then he shifted over enough that they're thighs were touching. He wrapped one arm around Jaskier's shoulders, half-turned towards him. His other hand he rested on his leg. Geralt watched Jaskier carefully, thoughts racing despite his pulse remaining slow.

He knew he had probably overstepped. He definitely had. Surely this was uncalled for. Besides, what would his employers think? This wasn't in the job description. His job was protection from outside sources. Suicidal actions and fear weren't his problems. Not his department. But he couldn't bring himself to leave Jaskier to suffer, not when the man so clearly sought the safe company of another and Geralt was right here.


	8. breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: injury, blood, vaguely implied child abuse

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled a small smile at Geralt as he felt him shift closer to him. Jaskier's whole body seemed to be like an ice cube. He felt Geralt shift closer so their thighs were touching. Jaskier looked up at Geralt with a hopeful and thankful smile. What he didn't expect was Geralt to be a bold as to put a hand on Jaskiers legs.

Jaskier didn't mind it at all, oh no, he absolutely loved it. His smile turned into a grin as he leaned into Geralt's side, resting his head on his shoulder. His own heart was thudding like crazy and he was just thankful for the low light from the candles to help cover up his blush, he doubted it covered it fully though.

Jaskier moved the hand furthest away from him onto Geralt's hand, allowing the soft yet hardened fingers brush softly over the man's hand, a smile on his face as his gaze turned to one of unconditional love, thankfulness, and admiration.

Jaskier lifted his hand that was the closest between the two of them and lifted it to Geralt's jaw and running his fingers down it, almost with a ghost touch as his head leaned against the man, tilted up slightly so he could look up at Geralt more, his fingers gently going to his cheekbone as he looked into Geralt's eyes. He was restraining himself from looking at Geralt's lips and the way they were formed their perfectly scalped shape.

He leaned up slightly, keeping his gaze on Geralt's eyes as his head moving as it tilted up more, allowing his lips to brush over Geralt's chin gently, like a lost ghost as his breath travelled over Geralt's chin jaw and neck when he exhaled through his parted lips.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt made note of Jaskier's blush, then set it aside. It was just the intimacy of the setting. The wind howled and the rain beat down louder on the windows. Geralt was tempted to turn his head to see but pushed down the urge. Jaskier was cold and needed him here. He could pay attention to the man.

Geralt let him trace his fingers down the bodyguard's jaw, amber eyes meeting those brilliant blue ones. He could see the raw admiration and affection in Jaskier's eyes, and the way he strained not to let his gaze drop to Geralt's lips, and felt unworthy of it. He had only done his job, after all. Alright, maybe a little more than that. But he certainly hadn't done any more than anyone with a heart might have. Geralt had never been one to easily turn his back on suffering, not when he had another, better option. He wrapped his arm tighter around Jaskier, not pulling him closer so much as adding more pressure.

He found himself closing his eyes, almost unwillingly, as Jaskier began to brush kisses against his chin. The grip he had by Jaskier's knee tightened as well. He didn't quite remember putting his hand there, exactly, but if Jaskier didn't complain he might as well leave it. He slowly opened his eyes again to wrap the fingers of the hand Jaskier had gripped around Jaskier's. He didn't thread their fingers together, just pressed their palms together, and held on.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier watched as Geralt's eyelids fluttered closed, enjoying and accepting the moment of the kiss placed upon him. A smile crept up his lips as he felt the pressure on his shoulder and the squeeze of his knee. He let out a content sigh as he allowed Geralt to hold him and his hand, the gentle affection making Jaskiers seemingly melt.

Why he had such a connection with Geralt so far, it was unknown. Maybe it was because they were both two very lost people in such a big world and to Jaskier at least, Geralt was one of the very few things that so far had felt right.

The gentle and slow thud of Geralt's pulse could be felt under his hand as Jaskiers fingertips trailed down the side of the larger man's neck, over his collar bone and lightly over to the left side of his chest. He kept his hand there for a moment, pressing it down so his palm was touching him as well and not just his fingertip. Jaskier's smile grew a little wider, he loved the comfort of the heartbeat. He heard the next lot of lightning, saw it flash into the room out of the corner of his eyes but he paid it no mind. His focus was elsewhere, and somewhere much more pleasant in Jaskiers eyes.

His hand lightened off of Geralt's chest so it was only the fingertips on him once again. His trail that he followed went back up past Geralts collarbone and along his throat, this time going up the center of it as his gaze moved from Geralt's eyes to his throat, he felt the impulse to kiss his Adam's apple. Instead, he allowed his hand to trail up and under the man's chin before gently lifting it off and placing his fingertips back down onto Geralt's temple where he slowly trailed down the side of Geralt's face. His other hand lightly started to move so their fingers were intertwined very loosely.

Jaskier was no longer concerned about his heart rate, to be honest, he wasn't concerned about anything other than the love and affection he was there to give to Geralt. His gaze locked onto the Amber eyes once again.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt suppressed a shiver as Jaskier lifted a hand to trail it down the side of his face. It wasn't a shiver of disinterest or disgust, the feeling was merely strange. He was thoroughly unaccustomed to any of the softness Jaskier seemed to adore so. Geralt would have lifted a hand to Jaskier's face as well, but that would mean releasing his grip in the other man. He wasn't quite willing to do that, even for what it would bring.

Lightning flashed again, brighter this time, and the thunder sounded soon after, loud and clear. Geralt kept his eyes trained on Jaskier's, feeling rather than seeing as the man placed a hand over his heartbeat. He supposed it must have been comforting, or, failing that, a novelty. He knew he had an unusually slow heartbeat. It wasn't strange amongst those like him, but to outsiders, it was.

Slowly, Geralt freed his hand from where it lay tangled with Jaskier's. He squeezed the man's hand once more than pulled his own away, raising it to Jaskier's face. He traced along Jaskier's jaw with his fingers, stopping at his chin. He no longer thought of Yennefer, of Ciri, of the storm. What mattered right now was the man in front of him, who was trusting Geralt so.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier stared up at Geralt, gazing into his eyes endlessly as he got lost in those honeydew eyes. He leaned into Geralt soft touch along his jaw and chin, letting him guide his face as he wanted.

Jaskier's fingertips trailed from the side of Geralt's face to his jaw where he lightly touched. He tilted his chin up with Geralt's fingers, allowing him full control of what he wanted to do. God's the man in front of his was pure beauty, like an angel sent down from the heavens. Pure white hair, those captivating eyes, it was all the signs to say that he would be Jaksiers muse. A role that had been filled by many others but never the right one.

Jaskier leaned in slightly, lips pressing against Geralt's jaw as he gently pushed his lips against the skin, slowly and tenderly giving a kiss, brushing his lips down and kissed again down his jaw until he reached his chin, once again kissing it in substitute of his beautiful lips before he moved back but only slightly, keeping their faces only inches apart.

He wasn't sure when but his other hand which was lonely had moved to Geralt's neck and trailed down his collarbone, fingertips resting against the left side of his heartbeat, his eyes flickered down to Geralt's lips for a moment before he scolded himself and looked back into Geralt's golden pools with Admiration and love.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt stroked Jaskier's chin, thumb brushing lightly against the man's lips before he moved his hand back to Jaskier's jaw. He could feel the slightest hint of stubble there, hair a that hadn't been there that morning, reminding him that Jaskier would likely shave soon. If it wasn't tonight, then it would probably be the first thing the next morning. Geralt felt a small chill go up his back, a faint thrum of panic going through him. He had to trust in Jaskier and what Geralt had done. He was doing it to keep the man safe, after all. And if Jaskier was upset, he would give the razors back or let the man move them, and not touch them again. That was fine. He had his own.

Geralt stroked Jaskier's cheek again with his thumb, gripping the man's upper arm with the arm Geralt had around him. He was careful to keep his grip light but very much present, something Jaskier would feel but could easily shake away if he so desired. Geralt had no wish for Jaskier to feel trapped. He wanted this to be comforting, not bring back any painful memories. Perhaps that was why, in retrospect, he did it.

Geralt kept stroking Jaskier's cheek, watching the bright blue eyes of the face before him. He kept his own amber ones open this time as Jaskier kissed his jaw and chin again, but longed to let them close. He felt as the man lifted the hand from his leg and trailed it along Geralt's collarbone, letting it come to rest directly over the bodyguard's heart. Jaskier's skin was still cold, but it was no longer quite as cold. Geralt hesitantly leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the man's cheek, mouth open. It was more him breathing warmth against Jaskier's skin than a kiss. Geralt knew it would do little to warm the man, but he let himself do it anyway.

He withdrew slowly, searching Jaskier's face for any signs of discomfort. He shifted his hand again, keeping eye contact, yellow and amber on blue, as he slid his hand down Jaskier's neck.

Geralt could feel the delicate muscles beneath the skin, not his own combative strength but instead, ones built for singing. To bring an array of emotions into the world as opposed to fear and intimidation. He let his hand come to rest when it gripped the back of Jaskier's neck, his hold firm but not unyielding. He wasn't going to force this on Jaskier.

Without knowing entirely what he was doing or why he was doing it, Geralt let himself lean into Jaskier again, their breaths mingling. He pressed his lips to the man's jaw, then slowly worked his way towards Jaskier's own lips. He reached them. Geralt drew back just enough to see Jaskier's eyes clearly. If he objected, he expected the man to react.

Geralt leaned in again and pressed their foreheads together. He hesitated a second longer, but it was a long second. Then he tilted his head just enough and pressed his own chapped lips lightly to Jaskier's bitten ones. It could barely be called a kiss, but it was there, and the contact was there, and why had he done this, this screwed up everything, he was going to be reassigned, wasn't he? Or fired, at the very least. If not by Witcher Corps than certainly by Jaskier.

A phone rang. A fucking phone rang. It wasn't his, Geralt's was in his pocket, and would have vibrated. His phone was silent. Geralt pulled away from Jaskier, swallowing down the growl in his throat was threatened to burst out.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier let his head roll and be moved by the older man. He let Geralt's hand roam over his neck, it was gentle tender yet firm. He was slightly surprised to feel Geralt's lips move in breathy kisses over Jaskier's jaw, his heart rate increased as he gently leaned into the kisses. Something had possessed him, blame the wine, he told himself. The good thing was afterwards he could. He could say how they were drinking. They both knew full well that the wine did absolutely nothing.

Jaskier opened his eyes in which had threatened to close, he allowed to half to do so. He looked back to Geralt, love was all he felt towards the man.

He felt Geralt's breath merge with his own as to be didn't realize but his breath had slightly fastened, he leaned in to allow their foreheads to touch. His hand moved to gently cup Geralts cheek, caressing it with his thumb as he closed his eyes, nearly fully, as their lips barely touched. Geralt's lips were so chapped compared to Jaksiers and he, oh how he loved it. He was about to move forwards, kiss him properly and allow gentle tenderness to take over him more so than it already had before he stiffened.

His phone was going on, the classic ringtone blaring and seemed overly loud. He felt Geralt move away from him and Jaskier stood, taking the phone out of his pocket as he answered it cleared his throat, bringing it up to his ear as he looked basically anywhere but directly at Geralt. Redness tinted at his cheeks. He definitely wasn't cold now.

"H-Hello," Jaksier said as he cleared his throat again afterwards. A moment of silence before he grinned "Ah, hello, what are you doing calling so late- oh that would make sense. Yep. Ah yep no we are.." he looked over to Geralt and chuckled a bit "Yes we are getting along just fine. He's a good man, you chose right." he said before a murmur of mhms and agreeing with her before a quick goodbye was said.

He moved the phone down and stared at Geralt and smiled at him, slipping his phone into his pocket.

"Ah that was just the manager asking how we were doing and making sure you didn't kidnap me or anything." he chuckled as he waved his hands around explaining before he bent over and picked up his glass from off the table and took a decent sip, lord knows he needed it. He could still hear his heartbeat in his ears.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt tried to ignore the redness in Jaskier's face and how he ignored him as the man stood to answer his phone. Geralt saw how Jaskier looked anywhere but at him, but accepted it. He understood he had been too forwards. Mentally, Geralt sighed and began making a list of anything he needed to do before he was kicked out. Give the razors and key back were high on the list. Offer his apologies were higher.

Geralt listened for what Jaskier's manager was saying, but between the rain and the blood slowly pulsing in his ears, it was difficult to make out. He could tell the voice was female, and worried, but that was it. Jaskier was quiet a minute as the voice on the other end of the line spoke. Then he looked at Geralt and smiled, smiled, chuckling. Geralt didn't know how to feel as Jaskier referred him as a good man.

He wasn't. He so very clearly wasn't. How many times had he failed? How many lives had he been unable to save? How many potential murderers had he let go free just because they had a family waiting at home? How many clients had he not protected, had turned down, all because of the promise of something more elsewhere? How was that good?

"I wouldn't kidnap you," Geralt muttered, watching Jaskier's glass as opposed to the man himself. Geralt sighed to himself, stared at the floor for a moment, then pushed his hands off his knees and stood, clasping his hands behind his back and facing Jaskier. He stared over then man's shoulder, not quite able to meet his eyes. Whether that was for his sake of Jaskier's, Geralt didn't know.

"But I will apologize. I shouldn't have kissed you. I understand if you would like to, at this point, fire and replace me." He kept his position, face an easy blank slate, amber eyes unmoving. He braced himself for the words, for the ones that he somehow knew would cut deeper this time than usual. It always hurt some, a client deciding he wasn't worth it and sending him away after having already agreed to the contract, but it was the life he lived.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nearly choked as he swallowed his wine. Of course, Geralt wouldn't kidnap him. Did he realize that he was taking the piss outta him? Jaskier looked at Geralt with a confused face before it softened as Geralt spoke his next bit. Good gods no, although the plain truth of they kissed coming from Geralt's lips made him shiver slightly as a chill ran down his spine. He swallowed his wine from in his mouth quickly as he saw how Geralt wouldn't look him in the eyes. This poor man had been hurt far too much. That was one thing that Jaskier was now certain of. Jaskier placed his glass back down on the small table before he walked over to Geralt, he raised his hand and gently kissed Geralt's cheek softly.

"I was more so expecting you wanting to run away. Geralt, I could never fire you. It's sad enough you have to leave after a month. I... The kiss was my fault. I mean technically I instigated it and it, I'm not going to say it was a mistake but it was inappropriate of me. " he spoke while looking onto Geralt's eyes. He wasn't going to let this man leave just yet, he wasn't going to get away with not looking at him in the eyes.

"Geralt. Someone hurt you badly, I can tell. A gentle soul like you who puts up such a big wall, it's to protect you. I understand. So if you wanted to leave then that's perfectly okay, it was my fault." he spoke softly, oddly gentle even for him.

Jaskier didn't know what to think. His girlfriend, he didn't even think that she was a thing when he kissed Geralt, his mind had gone blank. Technically he just made Geralt unfaithful but because he did it he counted it as all his fault. Geralt did nothing wrong.

Jaskier moved his hand, caressing the man's cheek a couple of times with a soft smile and reassuring eyes towards him. He thought for a moment. Would Geralt want him touching him right now? Probably not, he was probably seen as disgusting by him right now. He started to loosen his touch on Geralt's face and went to let it slip away back to his side.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt remained stationary as Jaskier pressed a kiss to his cheek. He had thought Geralt might want to run away? He might have if he had known Jaskier better and didn't have other attachments. But he had Yennefer and Ciri, - and his job - to worry about. Those took priority.

"It wasn't your fault," he murmured. Jaskier may have started but Geralt, Geralt was the one who had actually kissed him.

Had someone hurt him? He didn't know anymore. This was just his life. He took it and gave back what he could how he could. He supposed maybe it had started when he was younger, only a child, and had been given away. Had been told it was destiny. Was your own mother giving you up destiny? He didn't know. His clients hadn't helped, of course. With each mistake or misstep on Geralt's part, he felt his shame and self-hatred grow. He denied it. It was no one's problem but his own, so why should anyone else need to know of it? As long as it didn't get the better of him at work, it was fine. He was fine. It didn't matter.

Geralt slowly came back to life as Jaskier stroked his cheek. The man looked sad and thoughtful, a wistful expression on his face. Then Jaskier withdrew, his hand falling back to his side. Geralt caught the man's wrist, letting their eyes meet again. "It's fine. You can touch me." It wasn't that he didn't mind, and he couldn't say that, because he DID. He minded that felt foreign when Jaskier stopped. When he withdrew back into himself with that worried and slightly fearful expression on his face. Minded that he cared enough, had grown to care enough over the course of only a day that it hurt to see Jaskier so uncertain. He didn't mind the touch.

There was another rumble of thunder and burst of lightning, and Geralt's thoughts immediately went to Ciri. He hoped Yennefer was with her. Yennefer... oh gods. What had he done? Just because he suspected Yennefer wasn't entirely faithful to him didn't mean he did the same to her.

The candles had burned down someways and Geralt couldn't keep his eyes off them. Purple. Lavender scented. So much like the lilac, he associated with Yennefer. Lilac and gooseberries. Her scent. And now his thoughts were rambling. Wanting to stop them, Geralt looked back to Jaskier. He reached out with his free hand, setting it on the man's waist lightly. If Jaskier wanted to step away or ignore it, he could, and easily.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier was shocked for a moment when Geralt caught his wrist and his stomach turned slightly, twisting into itself with nerves, his gaze was at his wrist which had the larger hand holding it.

Jaskier felt his heart start to hammer as he looked up at Geralt while hearing the words. he just said it was okay? even after Jaskier had gone ahead and kissed him and created such inconvenience for him.

Jaskier watched as flickers of emotion went over and through Geralt's face. He had clicked by the looks of it. Panic, worry, confusion, it was all evident to Jaksier in his eyes. Jaskier moved forwards to Geralt, going to raise his hand onto Geralt to ensure that he was snapped out of his trail of thoughts before he felt Geralt's hand gently touch his waist.

What was Geralt doing? was he okay? Jaskier was desperately trying to look for some sort of answer. He leaned into Geralt's touch to let him know he was there. Jaskier smelt the air before it smelt more of soup and now it smelt of lavender, almost in an overpowering sickly way. But the scent of Geralt, he couldn't pin it down, but that scent and his own scent of Green Apples and cinnamon were wafting all around them. It really didn't help the intoxicated feeling Jaskier had going through him, and he could handle his wine, especially that one. So it wasn't the wine.

Jaskier lifted his hand up to Geralt's face softly, with a questioning gaze staring into his eyes, even though it was, it was still gentle and soft to him. He placed his hand on the stubbed cheek of Geralt and lightly caressed it with his thumb. "Geralt?" he spoke softly, barely above a whisper.

He couldn't figure it out for the life of him. what was Geralt wanting? what would he do, what could Jaskier do in order to help please him? Make him less distressed, bring him back to now? The only thing he could think of was to wait, stroke his cheek gently, and pray that he would open up to him and not turn from him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt gripped Jaskier's wrist for a moment, then slowly let it go. He returned it to the man's side. "Jaskier," he rumbled quietly, mindful of the lack of space between them. Before that space had smelled of promise, but now it smelled to him of uncertainty with a tinge of regret and guilt. He sighed again through his nose, closing his eyes and letting his forehead rest against Jaskier. He didn't know. Didn't know how he felt, didn't know what to do, any of it. He wanted to apologize again, but he sensed it wouldn't add anything to the conversation. He stared into Jaskier's blue eyes for a moment longer, then withdrew, taking his hand from Jaskier's waist as well.

"Right. If we're done here, I'm going to bed," he said gruffly, then turned on his heel and padded back down the hallway, footsteps as light as ever.

Honestly. What was he doing with himself? He opened the door and stepped into the room, shutting it behind him. The option was there if locking it, and his hand hovered over the knob, but he eventually decided against it. Sighing shortly again, he made his way over to the bed and collapsed onto it, the keys and phone in his pockets uncomfortable against his thighs. Which reminded him. He had planned to contact Vesemir and Yennefer. Renfri had made her stance clear. And Ciri, well, knowing Ciri, she had probably already texted him. He could just reply to that. Geralt sat up, leaning against the headboard of the narrow bed as he fished his phone from his pocket and clicked it on.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier was surprised when the man said his name, his eyebrows twitching up in the slightest of action before feeling Geralt's forehead move to his. Jaskier smile a tiny bit, more of a sad smile, he could see the poor man was falling apart but he held his tongue.

He continued to stroke his cheek as he looked at Geralt, going to open his mouth but was cut off by the sudden action of Geralt pulling back and away from him, letting his hand slip off of his cheek from the sudden distance. Jaskier hated it, the distance, the damn look of Geralt being so distraught.

Jaskier nodded à bit and stood in place, allowing Geralt to walk off. He blinked a couple of times. What in the bloody hell was he to do with that? He looked at his wine and sighed before tipping it back and guzzling what was left of it. He forgot how it was a wine and it wasn't meant to, making his cough lightly and he blinked a few times. "Wowie, now I know not to do that again," he muttered to himself with a light chuckle.

He cleaned up the candles, saving the wax in which had come off from the candle and put it in the basket as well as the other bits and bobs. He took his phone out. Popping the light on and placed it in one of the tables upsides down to light up the room before he worked away. He sighed a little as he nearly jumped from the sudden light that came on. Perfect just perfect. Destiny, why do you have to be such a-

Before he could finish his sentence he knocked over the table, the crystal glass falling off and onto the ground with a smashing noise as it broke and Jaskier sighed. Now he is great fúl that he decided to buy three sets of those and he also was growling internally and made a note not to offend destiny again. He sighed as he saw it was luckily spread all over the lino and not the carpet.

He picked up the table from where it had fallen over and picked it up, setting it up straight. Now his phone was on the ground, face up so he couldn't see. And it was on the lino. For fucks sake.

Jaskier growled as he went to move carefully around the Crystal before the lights went off again. "How fucking good. Could this night get," he swore under his breath.

He couldn't see anything but what the fuck right. He'd rather his feet than his hands. He took a small step and instantly yelped at the feeling of it embedded in his foot. "For fucks sake," he growled harshly at himself as he reached over and picked up his phone off the ground, praying his fingertips didn't get stabbed. Which luckily they didn't. He looked down at the ground. It was for fucking miles. Then he lifted his floor up and examined it and there was blood, mainly everywhere. He thought for a second, Geralt would've heard that.

"I'M OKAY, JUST DROPPED SOMETHING." he yelled out and towards the bedrooms so Geralt wouldn't have to come out and worry. He just hoped that he stayed in his room. He kept one foot up as he hopped to the couch and frowned before shining the light to his foot, he had large chunks and smaller fragments embedded into his foot. So he sucked it up, put on his big boy pants, and started to pull out bits of crystal, the bigger bits that he could see at least.

_G_ _eralt POV_

Geralt looked up sharply as he heard a crash. There was a concerning moment of silence, then he heard Jaskier shout that he was okay. Geralt snorted and rolled his eyes, but took a hint. If Jaskier truly needed help, Geralt had to trust he'd ask. And if he didn't but needed help anyways, well it was hardly Geralt's fault that the bodyguard didn't come running. Though he knew that, in such a situation, Geralt would be the one blamed anyways. He stretched his legs out in front of them, crossing them at the ankles. He checked his notifications.

A small handful of texts. Two missed calls. And there were three notifications from an app. Pokémon Go, actually. Triss had gotten him into the game, with the help of Lambert. He hadn't done a whole lot with it, but he'd collected a few Pokémon so far: two Eevees, a Magikarp, a Bulbasaur, three Oddishes, and his personal favourite, a Charmeleon. He'd always liked dragons. There was some sale going on in-game, and apparently he'd walked by a couple of Pokémon. Or driven, really. Oh well. Geralt shrugged and dismissed the notifications.

The missed call was from Vesemir because of course, it was. He bit back another sigh. He'd check that in a moment. Geralt opened his texts instead. They were from an assortment of people, and he lacked the energy to respond to them all. But he would at least read them.

**Triss Merigold**

4 hours ago

_Heard about Renfri. Geralt, she'll be fine. Have some faith. Our superiors are trying to get someone else to her pronto._

**Lambert of WC.**

3 hours ago

_Renfri'll do just well on her own. Focus on your new client, preferably BEFORE Vesemir goes after your hide._

**Yennefer of Vg.**

2.5 hours ago

_Geralt. How are things going with Jaskier?_

**Yennefer of Vg.**

2.25 hours ago

_Ciri's doing great, if you're interested. As am I, but I know you know that._

**Yennefer of Vg.**

1 hour ago

_Geralt? Helloooo?_

_You're busy, aren't you? Have fun, dear. It won't kill you to smile._

**Yennefer of Vg.**

30 minutes ago

_Fuck._

_call me_

Geralt frowned at that one, worried. He hovered over the call icon by her name, then shook his head and quickly read what Ciri had sent.

**Cirilla of Cintra**

20 minutes ago

_'night Pops. I hope you and your client are getting along. I'm okay, even with the storm, but I miss you. Yennefer's getting worried. Please call her._

_[ image of a grumpy seal tagged "this is you" ]_

Geralt huffed good-naturedly and sent a reply.

**Geralt of Rv.**

To: Ciri

_Night, Ciri._

He went into his contacts and scrolled down to Yennefer, hitting the call icon beside her name. The dial sounded, and he waited for her to pick up.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier focused intensely in the dark, his phone in his mouth so that the light shone down on his foot. Jaskier was pulling our the third-largest bit of Crystal shoved inside of his foot. He wasn't going to lie they were CHUNKS of crystal, lie tally anywhere else he stepped would've been fine but nope he just had to go ahead and stand on the biggest fucking pieces. Blood was pouring out of hit foot, dripping quite fast onto the floor and he frowned. He didn't know anything about feet. All he can say is thank fuck it was his foot and not his hand like he might have done.

Jaskier sighed as he growled lightly, foot pulsing uncontrollably. He paused for a moment. A soft noise could be heard. He frowned as he used his flashlight and looked around. Shit. His paranoïa was fucking him up. He growled at himself and told himself to ignore it, trying his hardest not to relate it back to what happened beforehand the last time he had a bodyguard with him.

His blood ran cold. The hairs on the back of his neck were sticking up, again like someone was watching him. Like he felt when he was in the car park. He swallowed harshly.

"It-It's just the wine Jaskier. Just another note of why not to guzzle it back like a pig," he said as he tried to focus on what he was doing but fucked it up, pushing it deeper in from his hands which he didn't realize were shaking.

He let out a half yell at the pain. He didn't know if it had hit anything it wasn't supposed to but by the god damn feeling of his foot, he hadn't. But it did hurt like fucking hell. He growled lightly at himself for being an idiot, telling himself off.

He growled as he went to try again but a faint knock was made at the door it was extremely quiet and could only just be heard above the noise of the rain coming down outside. Jaskier sat still, frozen. The knock was heard again but only slightly louder this time. Surely not. It's the first night he's been back here, that's why he's so jumpy. It's probably just the wind.


	9. knock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: stalkers, sexual harassment

_Geralt POV_

Geralt heard Jaskier's half yell and muttered an apology, which went to voicemail. Yennefer would just have to deal with it. He vaulted off the bed and made for the door, phone in hand. The hallway was dark, and on one of the couches he could just make out Jaskier's silhouette. The fact that the man had his phone on for light helped. 

Right now, Jaskier looked paralyzed, staring towards the door. He seemed to have stopped halfway through dealing with his foot, which was bloody with what looked like glass or maybe crystal stuck in it. Geralt crossed to him, standing protectively behind Jaskier. He debated turning his phone on too, then went ahead and did it. While Jaskier looked around, light focusing mostly on the door but also darting around some, Geralt turned in his own phone's flashlight and shined it down on Jaskier's foot. It didn't look good, but he would have to clean up the blood and remove the shards to be sure. As long as nothing vital had been hit, and infection didn't set in, it should be alright was bandaged. 

Geralt took a deep breath, then walked around the couch. He sat down next to Jaskier, keeping himself between Jaskier and the door. This time, he heard it too. As Geralt prodded gently at the edge of Jaskier's foot with one finger to determine how sore the area was, there was a soft sound again. It was slightly louder again, and undeniable, but just at the edge of hearing. He understood was Jaskier was so on edge.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Geralt come over and sit on the couch. He let the man do as he pleased, hissing in pain as Geralt poked at it. He wasn't paying much attention to Geralt though, his eyes were glued at the door. There was a third knock, it was loud. A proper full-on let me in kind of knock. Jaskier's heart was in his throat right now, he had to try and focus on not freaking the hell out.

He didn't realize he had stopped breathing and was holding it in until his lungs screamed at him, begging for him to breathe and he did and every single breath hurt. It ached, burned, he wanted it all to stop. He looked at Geralt. Jaskier was visibly pale, the color drained from his face as he felt his stomach knot. His hands were clenched into fists, concentrating on not becoming a pain in the ass for Geralt.

Outside there were footsteps, barely heard. They came, pacing back and forth and another violent knock came before they sounded as if they walked away.

Jaskier couldn't help it now, his hands were undeniably shaking worse than anything. He was full of fear. For multiple different types of reasons.

His eyes were fixed on the door, unmoving as he felt the vomit wanting to come out of his stomach and onto the ground.

"G-Geralt," Jaskier said, his voice barely above a whisper as it shook. He was going to ask him to open the door, look, make sure. He didn't know who was there, or if there even was anyone. All he knew is he was terrified.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt let go of Jaskier's foot, though he knew it could use medical attention. He heard the pacing. Saw how pale Jaskier was. Was the man's mind back to that night? Here in the apartment was where it has happened, if he was remembering correctly. Jaskier had had another bodyguard, just like Geralt. Geralt's skin crawled. He set his phone down on his leg and took Jaskier by the shoulders. He squeezed them lightly to get the man's attention.

"Stay with me, Jaskier," he murmured. He brushed a stray lock of hair that had fallen over Jaskier's face back to where it belonged, then picked up his phone and stood. He walked back around the couch, crossing behind it to get to the door. 

He took a deep breath and moved his phone to his left hand. He touched the sheath he wore lengthwise at his waist with his right. Geralt unlocked the door and stepped back. He pulled it open in one swift movement, not giving whoever was on the other side any more time to prepare.

Nothing. Geralt shone his flashlight out into the hallway. There was no one there. He frowned and looked again. Then he looked down, still standing in the doorway. There was a small box, a ring box he was pretty sure. It didn't look... sanitary, to say the least. Not particularly wanting to touch the thing, both for his own mind and to keep his DNA off it, Geralt reached across his waist. 

He drew his knife from the sheath, a heavy-duty blade that was old but served him well. He crouched down and prodded the box with it, shining his phone's flashlight around the hallway again. When nothing happened, even as he waited a minute or two, Geralt returned to the box. He wedged the blade of the knife in between the base and the lid, and twisted. The thing reluctantly popped open.

Geralt immediately stood and shone the light around again. Still no one. Knife in hand, he walked down the hall a short ways, until he reached the intersection. He checked in each direction, twice. No one.

Frowning, Geralt retreated back towards Jaskier's apartment. He put his back to it and frowned down at the box again, which was now leaking slightly. He turned his head enough to quietly call over his shoulder.

"Jaskier! Do you have plastic gloves? I need some. If you don't, there's a box in my bag." He returned his attention to the hallway, keeping guard until Jaskier answered one way or another.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier had dread stuck in the pit of his stomach. God's, oh gods it was happening again. They were going to get him. Geralt squeeze gently on Jaskier's shoulders made him come back to reality slightly. More half in and half out. He concentrated on his breathing. Shit, it was hard, it was so fucking hard to even breathe.

His head snapped up as he heard his name being called. He did have plastic gloves under the sink in the bathroom. He stood up picking up his phone in the process to use it as a light. He moved quickly, the pain in his foot was nothing compared to the internal distress he had. The least he could do was be helpful to Geralt. Jaskier walked hastily to the math room, nearly tripping over a couple of things. 

He felt the vile raise in his throat, he ran to the toilet in the bathroom and heaved over and into it, wine being thrown back up always wasn't a pleasant taste, the acidic flavor of red stuck in his throat as he wiped his mouth, not bothering to flush the toilet yet, he knew there would be more. But for now, he had to shut up stay strong and keep focused. He walked back to Geralt, his phone in one hand, and an open box of plastic gloves in the other. He used them for times when he colored his hair.

He walked carefully to where Geralt was and held out the box to him out to him, the smell of fresh rain wafted into his nostrils, such a pleasant scent for such a dreadful moment.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt tucked his phone under one arm and sheathed his knife. He took a pair of gloves from the box Jaskier proffered, then looked down at the man's foot. Geralt grimaced. He had to walk on it. Of course he had had to, what else was he supposed to do? Geralt stomped on the tiny blossoms of guilt that were trying to grow in his heart. He tugged on the gloves, then crouched down again. He carefully shut the lid of the ring box and took hold of it, fingers gripping the side edges of the bottom. It was unpleasant, but better him than Jaskier, who still looked ungodly pale.

Geralt walked past Jaskier, nudging the front door shut with a foot. It didn't close all the way, nor lock, but he had his hands full and Jaskier could take a hint. Probably. With the man's current state, Geralt wasn't so sure. He brought the box to the kitchen island anyways, and set it down. He kept his gloves on.

"There was no one there," he said quietly to Jaskier, aching to use his knife again instead of his fingers on the ring box. "Whoever it seemed to want to mess with you." He looked up, catching Jaskier's eye and holding it. "Don't let them get to your head." He knew his advice would be hard to follow. 

He knew Jaskier might flat out reject it right now. That was fine. Geralt wasn't an advisor anyways, for a couple of reasons. He glanced towards the door, then maneuvered so he could drop his phone face down onto the counter with only his arm, not touching it with the gloves.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier shut the door as quick as possible once Geralt had gotten inside and frowned as he saw what was in his hand. There was a strange liquid on it as well, judging by the shine on Geralt's gloves that reflected. Jaskier's head was fuzzy, he was ready to start going into hyperventilation mode and pass right the fuck out but his eyes went to the, was that a ring box?

Jaskier stared blankly at Geralt. Don't let them get to his head? Well to be fair, Jaskiers was able to move around and half have his senses properly turned on. He was managing to let it not affect him as much as it normally would.

"G-Geralt. What is that?" he managed to choke out, using his own phone as a light on the ground to not stand on any of the crystal on the ground. He hobbled a little closer, staying a couple of inches away from the island, not really sure if he wanted to know or not. He some his light towards the box.

The ring box was small, the inside of it had no padding just a photo that of Jaskier that was reasonably recent but it was one that wasn't posed for. It was of Jaskier buying a coffee with a large carefree smile, no look of worry or sadness tracing his features. It looked almost like a paparazzi shot. There was a heart drawn on it with a vivid and inside was a condom, it was fresh and if you touched it, it was still faintly warm. It was tied loosely with a predictable liquid-like substance inside and dripping out of it.

Jaskier stared at Geralt. He needed an answer. He needed the truth. Was he being fucked with? Who were they? And why is there just a simple ring box outside?

_Geralt POV_

Geralt grunted. "I don't know," he admitted. He wished he did. He had stepped over the crystal as well, feeling it rather than seeing it. He had stayed on the balls of his feet and tried not to misstep.

As Jaskier lifted his head from the now-open ring box, Geralt was there to meet his eyes. He had already seen its contents, but Jaskier's reaction only fueled his disgust. Not wanting to look at it any longer, he shut the lid of the box. Geralt peeled off his gloves, turning them inside out as he did so. He left them piled next to the ring box. 

Geralt stepped around the corner of the counter to where Jaskier was, wary of his own socked feet on the crystal. He gently took the box of disposable gloves from Jaskier and set it down on a clean part of the counter, then placed his hands on the man's shoulders again. It had seemingly worked the previous time or had at least done the job partially.

"I can't promise you'll be left alone. I can't promise you'll get answers. But I cam promise you'll be safe with me." Not alright, not necessarily, but safe. That was the important part. As long as Jaskier was out of harm's way, they could work on the other things. Geralt slowly let the grips he had on Jaskier's shoulders revolve into a firm hug. He rested his chin on Jaskier's shoulder, still watching the door.

_J_ _ulian POV_

Jaskier's breath hitched, his mind went blank as he instantly went back to the time they had him stuck, frozen him by the power of terror beneath them. Only when Geralt put his hands on Jaskiers shoulders did he come back into reality.

Geralt's words, he heard them somehow, maybe it was because his voice was deep and drifted easily. As soon as Jaskier felt the firm hug come over him, delivered by the large man in front of him did he let it all happen.

Tears streamed down his face as he cried into Geralt's shoulder, sobbing as he wrapped his arms around Geralt's waist and gripped tightly at his shirt to the point where he gripped any harder he probably would've nearly torn it or at least tried to of. Jaskier felt his knees weaken beneath him.

Why was he stuck like this? What did they want with him? Did he really have to go through anymore or this? His stomach twisted and turned, muscles clenched tightly as he struggled to breathe, hiccuping as his breaths were limited through the clenching of his stomach, his lungs tight as his pulse shot up, every breath he took burned hard and heavy.

"Why Geralt? Why can't they just leave me alone? I- I'd rather die. I just want to die." He sobbed as he clenched to the fabric of Geralt's shirt, clawing at it to try and grip for more, which failed as he sobbed, breathing quickening almost too quickly as he clung to him as if he damn life depended on it. And unfortunately, it did. Geralt was his bodyguard. He saved him from others and if not then from himself.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt held Jaskier tighter as the man sobbed into his shoulder. He felt the hands grasping tightly at his back, and didn't mind.

"Jaskier," he murmured again, "Jaskier." Geralt didn't know if he was saying Jaskier's name to calm the man, or to get his attention. He stroked his back. Geralt didn't want Jaskier to die. Didn't want him to have to put up with any of the shit he had gone through or was continuing to go through. What had Jaskier done to deserve it, any of it? 

Mindful they were still standing on shattered crystal, Geralt lifted his gaze to the couch that was behind Jaskier. He could get him there, get the man off his feet, and then Geralt could clean up the crystal. Then they could just go to bed. Or Jaskier could, anyways. Geralt didn't plan on sleeping. He would be much more useful keeping watch, in case anyone tried anything else.

"I'm going to pick you up," he said in the same low tone. He gently pried Jaskier's arms from around him, then shifted so that he had one arm across Jaskier's back and one behind his knees. Geralt stooped and then stood, transferring Jaskier's weight to in his arms. Geralt was strong, yes, but Jaskier felt so light. Carrying the man bridal-style, he picked his way around the crystal and back to the couch. He deposited Jaskier on the section of it where his back would be towards the wall with the window versus the kitchen, and he would be facing the door. Geralt crouched in front of Jaskier and placed a hand on the side of his neck, thumb stroking his jaw and cheek.

"Stay here," he murmured. "I'm going to clean up, I'm not going far." He let his fingers linger on Jaskier's cheek for a moment, then they trailed off. Geralt rose back to his feet and walked around the couch. He made his way back through the shards of crystal littering the floor. Upon reaching the sink, Geralt knelt and checked the cabinet space under it.

There was a hand broom and a dustpan there, and when he had been poking around earlier he thought had seen a full-size broom. He had. Geralt set the dustbin by the counter and went around the other side of the island, the side clear of debris. He fetched the broom from where it had leaned against the wall a short distance from the door, then made his way back.

Working at a pace where he felt most efficient, that is, one where he worked quickly but didn't miss or fling any shards, Geralt gathered the bits of crystal into one bigger pile in what had been the center of the spray. He set the broom against the counter and picked up the dustpan. He crouched down and swept the pile into it. Then he straightened, looking for a place he could dump the shards.

The floor wasn't perfect, not by a long shot, but it was certainly better. There weren't any more large shards on it, only what would be dust and small grains of crystal. He disposed of the shards and returned the dustpan to under the sink. He moved the broom so that it was propped up in the corner between the wall with windows and the non-island counter. Then Geralt strode back over to Jaskier and stood in front of him. He looked down at him, worried.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nodded, allowing himself to be picked up by the man. His gentle echoing of Jaskiers name calmed him down slightly as he let the tears run down his face. He didn't know what to do. What to feel. As he got picked up by Geralt, he wrapped his arms around the man's neck for support to keep him from slipping, though he doubts he would with someone as strong as Geralt.

He made a slight whimper as he felt the touch leave him as he was placed on something soft, his gaze moved around, trying to see the best he could but he knew the fabric well anyways, the couch. One of their phones, he wasn't sure whose. Geralt's one or his one which was face down on the floor where he had dropped it before he clung to Geralt.

He leaned into Geralt's touch as he placed a hand on him, the physical touch reassuring him slightly before he curled into himself, hugging his knees to his chest as he cursed to himself, staying quiet as he tried his best to composé himself. Composé. That's what he needed to do. He needed to sing tonight, he was going to be up anyway. He sighed to himself lightly as he sat and stared at nothing in particular, he was more in a haze of his own thoughts anyways.

He came back to his senses as he watched Geralt start to clean up the crystal, ignoring the pulsating in his foot which came back. A good sign that he was no longer in "that place" in his mind. How had Geralt not have left him by now? He looked at the clock, it was useless he could read the time but he knew it was late. It was coming up to nine at the least, he knew that much. Or maybe a time when faster and it was later or slower and it was earlier. He stopped thinking about it as it didn't really matter all too much.

His gaze focused on something that moved in front of him. Geralt. "Geralt ?" he asked more as a question to make sure it actually was him before he looked down at his hands.

"Sorry, you're the guest. I shouldn't have let you clean that up by yourself," he said before he tried to give the man a reassuring smile, seeing the worry in his eyes. "Go to bed, I'm sure nothing else will happen. I'm going to be awake all night and, playing calms me down so I might." He tried to sound cheery like his usual self and nearly succeeded. The only problem was the wariness in his voice.

_Geralt POV_

At the sound of his name, Geralt looked to Jaskier. He shrugged, not minding the cleaning. He shifted his gaze to the man's foot, which was still impaled on one of the shards of crystal. He frowned, both at Jaskier's words and his wound.

"If you're certain, I'll go," he agreed, albeit reluctantly. But the need for privacy he understood, and if Jaskier wanted to be alone, Geralt would back off. But not quite yet. "But deal with your foot first." He almost added we to that sentence, then thought better of it. Better not to make assumptions, not even ones built on earlier events.

Geralt had no particular desire to sleep, especially not after what had just happened. He was, however, willing to retreat to the room Jaskier had given him. If the man needed any help, Geralt would be but a shout away. He didn't make a move to sit next to Jaskier on the couch, instead of remaining standing where he was. A phone he thought might have been his was on the couch next to Jaskier, the flashlight on and illuminating their faces.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nodded a little bit as he sat for a moment, hesitating, before he spoke again. "If you, if you wanted you could stay. I just don't want to keep you awake if you were to sleep." he admitted as he looked up at Geralt.

He looked to his foot and moved it a little, hissing lightly from the shard that was now pushed into his foot from when he walked on it. That really wasn't a smart idea but how the hell else was he going to work fast.

"How long do you think it will take to heal up?" he asked, his voice was a little small. If he was going to be cooped up, it better damn well be raining as hard as it was at the moment. Only now had he listened to the run again, it was less violent but it was still heavy bulky droplets against the window and outside.

He let his eyes get lost in Geralt's again, he wanted to reach out and to touch the other man. He thought for a moment against it before he thought fuck it. He reached out his hand, reaching for the other man's hand. He waited patiently, holding his hand out to see what he would do. If he'd go ahead and grab Jaksiers hand back or not. Geralt could make the boundaries as well now, that was a silent invitation for him too.

Jaskier felt his heartbeat in his ears, warning up his face slightly. The pain was catching up to him and reddening his face as well as the slight embarrassment for the wish, no the craving, for Geralt to hold his hand.

_Geralt POV_

"Then I'll stay," Geralt said. He doubted he would be able to sleep well enough to make it worth it anyways. And he would rather not leave Jaskier on his own right now. For a variety of reasons, the main one being someone coming back. He looked at Jaskier's foot again, calculating. He himself healed fairly quickly, but he knew normal humans didn't. Depending on how deep the gash was and if any tendons or nerves had been cut, it might be anywhere from a week to months.

"I don't know," he admitted. But whatever the case ended up being, it was clear that Jaskier shouldn't be doing much walking for the time being. Geralt hadn't particularly minded carrying him, though he knew that it wasn't practical, especially not long-term.

The wind had stopped howling so much, though the storm still had yet to blow itself out. Geralt had to wonder when the power would come back on. They could manage on phones and candles for one night, and come morning there'd be daylight, but it'd be a hassle if the power stayed out for more than a day.

Then Jaskier extended a hand towards him, and Geralt felt his heartbeat slow further. There was an undeniable red tint to the man's face, and despite the fact that there was still blood flowing freely from his wound, Jaskier didn't look like he was registering it. Geralt hesitated. He didn't want to give the man false hope. Because there wasn't any, not for whatever was between them, others were even something there. Geralt was taken and Jaskier was a client. He knew better than to date or even care too deeply about clients. No, there couldn't be and wasn't something there.

So Geralt brushed his fingers over Jaskier's hand instead, trailing his fingers across Jaskier's palm. "Foot," he reminded him, then slid Geralt's hand away and straightened. He felt a twinge of remorse at the man's expression, but withdrew anyway, making for his room despite the dark.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier listened to Geralt intently, seeing how he was calculating and then sighed when he said he didn't know. It's not like he did lives on stage or anything, he did still stay in the media which honestly he preferred than in real life.

Jaskier perked up slightly as he was that Geralt's hand was coming to him, he felt his fingertips there but, that touch. It wasn't the same. It was different. It was lonely. Jaskier just smiled a little wider, it obviously turning fake but God's knew it was smiling or cry right now. There was a mixture of too much going on in his head.

He felt his cheeks warm up in embarrassment and an overwhelming amount of emotions. Why couldn't he be calm and collected like Geralt all of the time? His gaze moved to the studio. He wanted his lute. Needing it nearly as he reminded himself that it's what kept him sane.

Jaskier's lute was special to him for many reasons. One being it as a skill he learned back in England. The second being it made his audience feel special as well, instead of a classic guitar, it felt more medieval, more mysterious, and even to some more personal because of the twang that it had to it. Jaskier had tried to play the guitar before but it just didn't suit his voice and he couldn't find his mojo with it.

Without an audience, a musician was nothing. Jaskier let his fingers lightly play with the strings, plucking notes absentmindedly as the zoned out slightly, staring into the distance with a light smile on his face, his lute truly did make him smile. It reminded him of why he could be him, why he was here and gave him some form of a purpose.

He came back to reality as he flashed out from his memories and looked in the direction that Geralt had walked away into, waiting patiently for Geralt to come back. It was dark, it probably would be for a couple more hours and then it would come back on properly. Usually lasts between 4 and 8 hours that it stays off, it's honestly a bit of a pain in the ass but it did lower the rent.

_Geralt POV_

When he got to the room, Geralt opened the door cautiously, eyes starting to adjust to the darkness. When he saw that nothing had changed, he fully entered the bedroom, leaving the door open behind him. He crossed to his duffel bag, which was still on the floor. Geralt unzipped it, feeling around for the pouch containing his first aid kit. When he fingers closed around it, he zipped the bag and stood again.

Geralt stepped back into the hallway, not shutting the door. He padded back down it, seeing where Jaskier was from the light of one of their phones on the couch beside him. Geralt made his way over to the man and sat down beside him, on the side the phone wasn't. He set the pouch down between them and caught sight of Jaskier's expression. 

Something in Geralt softened slightly and the words that had been about to come out of his throat caught. He reached a hand out to Jaskier, unsure if his touch was entirely wanted but willing to offer it all the same. Geralt placed the hand between them on Jaskier's hip and brought his other hand up to cup the man's cheek. Geralt bad to turn at an awkward angle to do it, but it was a position he could hold.

He dreaded the moment that the rain died. The moment where the apartment would be silent again, and every breath either of them took, every creaking the floorboard, would set them on edge. Geralt didn't know how thin the apartment walls were. If they would be able to hear their neighbors.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier certainly didn't blame Geralt for the way it was acting. He didn't like it, but it was to be expected, after all, he was the one who kept touching him even when the bodyguard said he wasn't used to touching, which was proven by the first time they met in the office when he touched Geralt's shoulder and he tensed harder than a damn rock.

Jaskier had to give a small chuckle. Nearly 24 hours ago that happen. Jesus, when could so much happen between two people in such little time. He decided, he would try not to touch the man unless he had to or tried to make it seem normal. He was going to hate it, he already hated it and it was just the very idea of it. Geralt had enough going on in his mind and as much as it helps and all, Geralt probably would find it even harder.

Jaskier luckily had recorded and a live planned so he wouldn't have to try so hard, he could distract himself meanwhile at the least. He saw Geralt walk in the room, a smile coming on his lips again as he watched the man, watching carefully so he didn't move and waited for him to come and sit over.

His gaze shifted from his foot to Geralt's face, examine his features silently as he thought, just staring. The man in front of him was so gorgeous and gentle and yet he had already caused both of them pain. He didn't realize it was accidentally a gaze of guilt, loss, and mourning as he let his gaze drift around Geralt's features.

He felt his stomach almost twist as he realized this month was going to be absolute hell for Jaskier. The most he could hope for was at least a damn song out of it all which he was determined to get. He'd enjoy what he could while he still had it.

His brows frowned slightly as he felt Geralt hand on his hip before feeling his other hand on his face. It wasn't a violent frown, but a slightly confused one. He leaned into the touch of Geralt's, allowing his eyes to drift half closed with a light hum, his shoulders relaxing after a moment as he nuzzled into the man's hand. 

Jaskier felt his lips tug up at the corners a little bit as he relaxed visibly. He felt the tension he had left his body before he caught his eyes being closed. He reached his hand forwards, extending to Geralt and gently rubs feather touches from the back of Geralt's hand on his cheek, up to his forearm, and gently rubbed it softly with a soft smile coming onto his face. He moved his hand back to Geralt's, holding it over his hand and turning his hand, kissing his palm softly.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt stroked Jaskier's cheek as the man raised a hand to touch Geralt's. He was wearing such a pained and saddened expression, and Geralt didn't know why. That worried him. He was supposed to be the strong one with the answers here, and yet he felt as if he was in the dark. Which he literally was, but still.

Geralt kept still as Jaskier traced along his arm and to his face. At least he had started to relax. That had been what Geralt wanted, even if it came with such a pained expression. He could only hope that the expression Jaskier wore wasn't because of Geralt's touch.

He slowly started to remove his hand, stroking down Jaskier's neck and onto his shoulder. He smoothed his hand over bony shoulders and let it move down onto Jaskier's arms where he slowly brought it back to himself. The hand on Jaskier's hip he didn't remove, instead of sliding it so that his palm was against the man's lower back.

With the hand that was now free, Geralt unzipped his pouch. He took out gauze and tweezers, then motioned for Jaskier to shift so that Geralt could reach his injury.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier hummed lightly as he leaned into the touch of Geralt, allowing his neck to be touched by the man. To Jaskier that was probably the highest point of trust he could have with the man was to let him touch his neck. It was his everything, his life, his music, his voice.

He allowed Geralt's touch to move down and slowly fade off of him before he nodded and moved his foot so that Geralt could see it. It wasn't pretty at the moment, mainly because of the deep dark red.

Jaskier couldn't help but let out a light chuckle to lift the slight bit of tension left in the air so they'd be back to normal, hopefully. We'll as normal as he could get with Geralt now after they had kissed, which Jaskier still blamed on the wine.


	10. sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: blood, removing glass from an injury

_Julian POV_

"At least it's your favourite colour and not some strange green or black type of blood. I don't even know if animals can have differant coloured blood but I assume they can. I'm pretty sure ants have black blood, I squished one when I was younger on my wall as a kid and it left a black smear pattern. Honestly it scarred me for life Geralt, terrible terrible thing I did to kill such an innocent creature. I was trying to pick it up. " he started talking. Just allowing his thought pattern to return to normal and bring up a funny story in the hopes Geralt may smile or feel more comfortable about being around Jaskier.

Jaskier was leaning slightly into the touch of Geralts hand on the lower back. Jaskier had folded his legs but allowed his left foot, the injured one, to stick out with a bent knee onto Geralts lap.

He felt awful about the whole situation but he had to ignore it. "I'll probably grab my lute afterward, I'm composing a song in my head but I haven't picked up my lute in a couple of weeks at least." he thought out loud. And it was true, he hadn't. He hadn't touched it as he had left it here at the apartment. He knew the lutes notes all too well mentally and could humm it well. He looked to Geralt and waited. Fun times.

_Geralt POV_

"Hm," Geralt murmured as Jaskier rambled. The blood was indeed his favourite colour, but he would rather not see it outside of the man. There was a shard stuck in there, at an awkward angle that told Geralt it had been walked on. Geralt took a cloth from the pouch that rested between them and pressed it against the gash. 

He knew it was going to be painful if it wasn't already, but he was going to do what he had to. Lifting the cloth, Geralt began to wipe away the blood, keeping a careful amount of pressure on Jaskier's foot. He used long, lengthwise strokes until the worst of the blood was away. It kept welling up, over. Geralt looked at it for a moment, then back to Jaskier.

"Do compose." He paused. "And if you want to sing, I don't mind." Geralt wasn't a musical person in general, but if it helped Jaskier feel more like himself again, he didn't mind listening to the man's singing. Geralt set the cloth aside on his leg and picked up the tweezers. Holding them in two fingers, he cupped Jaskier's jaw with the same hand.

"This is going to hurt," he warned, then turned his attention back to the gash. Geralt wiped away the blood one more time, then placed the tweezers against the wound. He clasped the biggest shard with them, eyes flicking to Jaskier's face to watch his expression. His grip on the man's back tightened in an effort to remind Jaskier not to flinch. 

Geralt gave a smooth tug, freeing the shard slowly but cleanly from Jaskier's foot. He set it and the tweezers on his own leg, which was on the couch with his knee bent, rather like Jaskier's. Geralt took the cloth and held it over the gash, applying pressure. Without the shard of crystal helping to stem the blood flow, he knew it would pick up. When a minute had passed, Geralt lifted the cloth enough to check.

"Was there more than one piece?" He looked to Jaskier again, then back to the man's foot. He set the cloth aside and picked up the tweezers again, picking off a small shard by the edge of the gash. That finished, Geralt applied the cloth to the cut again. He stroked Jaskier's back with the hand he had there as best he could, due to the awkward angle against the couch.

Geralt reached for the gauze he had set on his knee and removed the cloth. Freeing both his hands, he began wrapping the cotton around Jaskier's foot in easy, practised loops, tearing off the extra and setting the roll back in his pouch. He brought a hand back to Jaskier's shoulder.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier gave a smile to Geralt as he was told by him that he didn't mind him composing. He grinned widely as he heard it come from Geralt, it just made it seem more okay.

When Geralt said it was going to hurt, Jaskier already knew the pain was going to be extreme due to the fact he was wincing just from Geralt swiping a cloth near it.

He watched Geralt, trying to drown himself in his features, gasping a little and biting his lip, careful not to reopen the already cut bit open on his inner lip. "Ah- hmmm- ouchie." was all his simply said, each word short with a pause in between. He gave a light laugh at the end. Fuck his foot throbbed but he liked to be able to laugh it off to try to show Geralt that he hadn't hurt him in any way at all.

"I appreciate it Geralt," he said as he looked to his foot that now had pressured applied on it quite intensely which made Jaksier want to squirm in discomfort but lord knows he wouldn't dare to move from the hand that was so tenderly stroking his back. It felt like Geralt again, the Gentle feeling. He smiled at Geralt in the reassurance that he was okay before shaking his head at the question.

He let Geralt do his thing, his nose occasionally wrinkling up in discomfort but only barely noticeable. It hurt, he was not going to lie. But it was mainly in the arch of his floor so if he stood on the pads of his feet he decided mentally that he should be okay.

He had to give a light chuckle as he looked to Geralt. "Sorry for making you more like a personal nurse today than a bodyguard," he spoke at the same time as imagining Geralt in a nursing outfit. White against his skin mm he'd look handsome. But he liked the darker colors against the man, it made his eyes pop. And those honeydew suckers were absolutely mesmerizing. His gaze lingered on them, staring into them before he snapped into reality once again.

"Ah right! I should get my lute!" he said as he went to move, his leg moving off of Geralt and to the ground.

_Geralt POV_

"Hm," Geralt said again, in response to all of what Jaskier had said, and let him go, pointedly ignoring how the man had been gazing at Geralt's eyes. He watched as Jaskier stood, injured foot not placed down flat. He began cleaning up, zipping the first aid pouch, and picking up the phone. He passed it to Jaskier since it still had the flashlight on. He was aware it was going to die on them eventually, but while it still had light Jaskier might as well have it. There was another phone, face-up, on the floor where the crystal had been. He had felt it while sweeping. If he needed light, he would just use that.

Geralt stood too, swinging his leg off the couch. He held the pouch in one hand, the cloth wrapped around the tweezers and shards in the other. He made his way carefully towards the kitchen, wary on the grounds that he might have missed something and there would be shards on the floor still. He reached the sink and set the cloth bundle he was holding down beside it, the pouch beside that. 

There were going to be bloodstains on his clothes, but he didn't much care. He wore black anyways, and blood would eventually come out or fade. Plus, if it didn't, it fit the look for his job. He walked back to where there had been crystal on the floor, sinking to a crouch. He felt around on the floor, closing his eyes since they were little use. He brushed over the crumbles of crystal he had missed, painful little pebbles, but not sharp ones. Geralt's fingers brushed against the hard edge of a phone. 

It was warm. He traced his fingers over the top of it and felt a screen, so he picked it up, nearly blinding himself as the light from the flashlight went straight into his eyes. He squinted, angling the phone away so the light was directed at the ground, then rose back to his feet. He made his way back over to the sink.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier stood before hobbling over into the soundproof room, to be honest, he probably wouldn't be singing tonight or playing loudly. He needed quiet, solemn. He might hum along with it, airily singing the words as he plucked away at the strings.

He picked up the beauty, the polished wood and carefully carved center. He hadn't touched her in the time that he hadn't been at the apartment. He held it carefully as he walked back into the room, going to the couch and sitting with his feet up against the footstool which comfortably sat in the middle.

He wasn't going to lie, it took a lot of strength to move it so he wouldn't accidentally kick it over. His good foot had the arc of his foot pressed against the middle and his injured one stretched out. His back was leaning up against the back of the couch for support as he lounged the instrument over his shoulders. He plucked at each string, carefully tuning it before he grinned. He then looked up, gaze floating out to the dim-lit room around him as his fingers plucked and strummed notes in which his muscles had memorized over years and years, a talent not lost after only less than a year without playing.

He smiled as he hummed gently, taking his time to put together a couple of notes before he hummed along and sung, he was supposed to live stream this song soon so it was best he figures out the chords. Slowly he got used to all of it again and it felt like only yesterday he had played her. She was easy to play, to Jaksier at least. More complex notes and strums were coming out as he hummed, going back to the start and lightly singing, airily as he whispers the lyrics into the night. Mainly trying to piece them together as he went along.

_"like a breeze in the trees we never really know_

_which direction we are going_

_which way we are gonna go_

_like the sea on a windy day_

_we never really know how hard it's getting_

_until someone drowns"_

He played softly, gently, his playing usually was.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt set the phone against the wall, balancing it so that the flashlight was shining towards him and the sink but not directly into his eyes. He turned the tap on cold and began trying to rinse out the blood the cloth had absorbed. There were other, older stains in the rag as well. He replaced it every couple of months and washed it far more frequently, but it did see plenty of usages. 

Geralt kept scrubbing, rubbing his fingers over the worst stains and wringing out the cloth. Some bloody water ran off it, but he knew it would have to soak in order to get most of the blood out. He set the cloth aside and rinsed out the bowl he had used for soup, then filled it with water again. Geralt set the cloth in that.

He took the phone, he thought it was Jaskier's, from where it leaned against the wall and made his way back over to the man. He had a beautiful singing voice, and combining it with the lute only made it lovelier. Geralt felt the corners of his lips curl up despite himself. He took a seat opposite the man on the couch, sitting on the other side of it. He pulled his legs up so that he was sitting cross-legged, and rested his hands on his knees. Jaskier's playing seemed to stumble at first, then he got back into the rhythm of it. 

Geralt watched through mostly-closed eyes. He had never been much of a musician. Hadn't even tried to learn the guitar or piano. He'd tried the oboe, once. Hadn't liked it. And besides that, there had never been much time in his life for music. He had training and then clients. All of it together had given him a special appreciation for those who had learned the art of music and were so dedicated to it.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier had set the torch down from the phone next to him and left it to be forgotten when he had sat down. Jaskier gently hummed, he wasn't the most talented singer in the world, but his lute mainly made up for it.

To him his vocals were rusty and needed much more work on them, many people said he had the voice of an angel, a couple said he had the voice of a dying frog that was being squeezed. It really depended on who was listening but overall his voice was relatively average. It was the emotion behind it in which made it special.

He glanced as he saw Geralt cone back over and grinned at him happily, his fingers playing along quite happily as he rested his head back, letting it rest gently as he kept his eyes staring at Geralt, not through intimidation. The stress had gone from Jaskier and admiration. Oh, there so was so much admiration for Geralt in his eyes through his relaxed state.

_"like the earth when it's crying_

_It shakes coz it's scared_

_we never really know if we are to be_

_loved or to be feared_

_like a daisy by the river blowing in the wind_

_he picks you up just fine_

_surprises his love with a special side of him"_

He allowed a pause where he played just the lute, canceling his voice for a moment to allow the gentle push of the words to sink into him and become one with them again. His gaze shifted to Geralt with a small smile as he continued to pluck the strings softly.

Jaskier smiled lightly at Geralt as he lightly sang, each pluck with meaning, each note with the gentle intention to soothe and create peace. It was so quiet how he was playing that he could talk normally and it would be clear as day.

"If you want, I can play something you like." he offered in a normal voice.

Geralt probably didn't want to sit and listen to his boorishly slow music in Jaksiers mind, unless he was one to enjoy that type of music. He was quite happy to even pick mindlessly as they spoke to one another.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt grunted. "I don't mind," he muttered. And he didn't. It was pleasant, actually, the sound of Jaskier's voice mixing with the notes and chords he plucked on his lute. He closed his eyes fully, sitting up straight. Despite his posture, however, the bodyguard was relaxed. He still had the necessary alertness of the room, identifying each sound that wasn't Jaskier or himself before dismissing each one. The room was a decent temperature, though it had dropped since that morning or even that evening. Then again, Geralt didn't mind the cold. Perhaps it was only him that was comfortable.

As he listened to the wind pick up and die, pick up and die outside, contrasting wonderfully with Jaskier's playing, Geralt let his mind wander to what the man had been singing. He didn't know the song, which was obvious. It was something Jaskier had written. But the lyrics... the lyrics and how it was sung brought back memories. 

He felt his heart clench slightly. Not in a bad way, exactly, just in a reminiscing way. It felt a little as if Jaskier was singing of times long gone, and a little as if he was speaking of the present. Perhaps that was his intent, Geralt wouldn't know. Ciri probably would. Ciri was the musical one in the family. She took after him, but her upbringing by her grandmother and parents still stuck with her. It was more noticeable at times.

Eyes still closed, his brow furrowed. Ciri. Shit. He missed them, her and Yennefer. He caught himself wondering if Jaskier would like Ciri. Maybe he would. He felt that she would like him, no matter his cracks. She was that kind of girl. He felt himself smile slightly.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier plucked away absentmindedly, gently allowing the feeling of love to fill the room. He hadn't been col, he has barely been noticed the temperature of the room for mainly 2 reasons. 1. He was used to it and 2. His foot brung enough warmth to his as it were.

His mind went to different places as he though, the pace slowing even further as the next lot left his lips. As he sang it was in no way a normal amount of time between verses. He was singing it to his own time.

_"like the feathers that fell_

_from last summer_

_but they don't land the same_

_as when you were here"_

Jaskier's gaze was on Geralt the whole time. He watched how he moved, how the features on his face changed. He kept plucking at the strings, a gentle flow coming out of them.

"You're thinking." he was stating more than asking "Geralt, what makes your mind go blank of all things?" he asked curiously.

Jaskier's gaze stayed with him eating up the look of him while he stood could, his neck, collar bone, and oh that chest. Even though it was covered, he remembered from when he put his hands on it and ran his fingers across it.

He let out a light chuckle. The amount he wanted to put down the lute or to go sit on the other man's lap was quite frankly embarrassing. He craved Geralt's touch again. He'd have to make a song on this, he decided mentally as his eyes that were roaming Geralt's body stopped and went to his eyes again. Those honey eyes, he'd describe like them yes. Sweet, sickeningly sweet. Melt any man's heart with those eyes. His eyes were closed currently but he could still feel it. Feel their gaze, his gaze.

He hummed as he looked to Geralt, waiting for an answer his phone all of a sudden vibrated, the device turning off and dying, the light along with it. "Well that's one" he chuckled. But his gaze didn't move from Geralt's. It didn't want to. He didn't want it to.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt let himself relax further into the music, trying and not trying to listen for any meaning behind the words. He thought he felt Jaskier's gaze on him, even more so when the man's voice faded away and just the notes plucked out on the life remained.

"Hm," he said. He knew it was a statement, not a question, but Geralt answered all the same. He was thinking, he was. About Ciri, and Yennefer, and yes, about Jaskier. About what he was going to do. He briefly entertained the idea of moving. Of bringing Jaskier elsewhere, somewhere no one else needed to know about and protecting him there. Someplace he would be out of the hands of the people he feared. Geralt didn't know of such a place, nor did he think he would convince Jaskier, at least not soon, so he let the idea slip.

Geralt tilted his head towards Jaskier at the question, eyes still closed. He didn't know. He'd never known. Meditating helped, some, but all it really did was let him channel his thoughts in the direction he wanted them to go. It didn't clear his mind. He didn't have any hobbies outside of MMA, and even in that, he was always calculating his moves and trying to get the upper hand.

"Nothing I've found," he admitted aloud. The day he found something to quiet his mind for a more than a moment, even a long moment, was one he looked forwards to. Geralt didn't mind his thoughts, he would rather always be thinking than never, but he did like the quiet and reflection that came with having a calm mind. He had probably cursed Ciri to be like him, he reflected. He and Yennefer were blunt, busy people.

When a phone died, Geralt slowly opened his eyes, locking onto Jaskier's brilliant blue ones. "I haven't asked. How alright are you?" He knew better than to ask "how are you?" or "are you alright?" It was too tempting to say "good" or "I'm fine." It was too easy for his client to scoff and Geralt and turn away. So he'd changed the question.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's eyebrows rose in slight surprise as Geralt spoke, saying that nothing blanked his mind. Geralt was smart, and beautiful, gods above he was, but everyone needed silence in their mind. He smiled as he saw the way Geralt's head tilted as he spoke towards him, it was almost, keyword being almost, sweet.

Jaskier saw Geralt's eyes open, the gentle glow of them making Jaksier want to reach out. Hold him. Hold me. His body was screaming at him so much that he hadn't realized his hands had paused, ready to strum the next note but never doing so. The next question left him like a fish out of water, opening his mouth to reply but not sure how to put the words together. He frowned slightly as his gaze shifted from Geralt's eyes to the floor which he was struggling to see. 

After a moment he gave in and sighed, sagging his hand, leaving the anticipated not to diminish and be forgotten about. He moved his gaze back to Geralt's eyes and honestly, you could tell just by looking into his eyes. His level of okay was he needed to be held. Close. Tight. And forget about the cruel world for a moment. He can't lie to Geralt, gods no, he felt as if he would be lying to the heavens and creating a large sin of some kind.

"I... I have been better," he said. It definitely wasn't a lie but it definitely was not said to its full extent. He let the air become still as he looked to Geralt. His eyes screamed it, begged for it.

Instead, he gave a smile and a nod to Geralt in a gesture of him, placing the lute so it was fully relaxed onto his lap. "What about yourself?" he had asked. Geralt had found the box, cleaned up Jaskiers crap that he spilled onto the floor and well, after the kiss he wanted to make sure Geralt wasn't internally blaming himself for everything.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt watched Jaskier's eyes. They seemed... cracked. Desperate. On the outside, they were still the same beautiful blue, but he saw the hidden pain in them. From that alone, he didn't need the man's answer to his question. Jaskier had been better. Geralt nearly snorted. Of course, he had.

"Tonight had been long," he said finally and meant it. It had been. More draining than many had been, especially now that he had been a bodyguard for so long. Even when he stayed awake all night, suspicious of every shadow as he stood guard, it bad felt better than this. He had been dealing with the threat of murder, not rape. Jaskier seemed remarkable put together in that those regards.

As the man set down the lute, Geralt didn't keep his eyes from going to the instrument. It was beautiful, sad, and authentic at the same time, while still holding the promise of joy. His eyes moved back to Jaskier's after a minute. Why did the man look so concerned? Did he not understand that all Geralt had done was his job? That if he was uncomfortable, it was because of Jaskier's situation, not the man himself. Frowning, Geralt tipped his head at him, then uncrossed his legs and moved over to sit beside Jaskier, leaving enough space between them for it to remain, friends, if they've chosen.

_Julian's POV_

Jaskier rose an eyebrow in a pleasing way, pleasantly surprised as Geralt stood and came over, sitting near him... There was a little gap between them and that, that would just not do at all. Jaskier moved, careful not to hurt his foot further as he shimmied closer towards Geralt. He moved the lute from on his lap to leaning up against the footstool, keeping it balanced. He slowly, very slowly so that Geralt could stop him if he wanted, moved so that their legs were pressing together by their thighs, he moved his hand, raising it and going to place it on Geralt's knee, he hovered his hand above it as he looked up at Geralt.

Was Geralt sitting next to him because he needed it? Or because he was pitying him? What was his reason? Jaskier thought for a moment, hell Geralt would tell him to stop if it was too much. Jaskier place his hand down and rested it lightly on Geralt as he leaned his head on Geralt's shoulder.

Jaskier didn't care why he was there anymore, he was just glad that he was. Working it all out in his head with only make his head throb more than his foot does.

Jaskier's mind drifted slightly as he listened to the rain outside before he decided to swallow what was left of him and ask him a simple question which scared Jaskier the most.

"Geralt?" His voice was soft and slightly nervous. "Would you stay if I extended the assignment for more than a month? I won't, for more reasons than one. But if I were to of, would you have stayed?" He dared to glance up, moving his head so he could look up and look into his eyes. Jaskier's own eyes were a deep pastel blue, tainted with tiredness but his eyes reflected it still, the one thing he felt most when he looks at Geralt. 

Admiration. Anyone with a reasonable mind could see why. He was gorgeous, gentle. A beautiful soul some would say. He held his gaze strong, not letting his gaze flicker to look and examine Geralt's facial features once again like his mind was begging him to. He expected a solid easy no from Geralt.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt let Jaskier place a hand on his knee and meld himself against Geralt. He didn't mind the contact. It was underwhelming, this, and in a good way. It was starting to feel familiar, and in a way that Geralt found he could get used to. He wrapped an arm around Jaskier's shoulders, holding the man closer to his side. His other hand he placed atop Jaskier's, where it rested on his knee. He felt it was right, was all. It wasn't a pity. He didn't know what it was. But he wanted to do this for Jaskier. To keep doing this for Jaskier.

So when the man asked his question, Geralt was a little startled. Not enough to flinch, mind you, but enough for his gaze to sharpen and his head to pick up slightly. He resettled it against Jaskier's, staring out into the darkness in front of him.

"I don't know," Geralt muttered truthfully. Some part of him wanted to stay, but the other warned him against getting tied down too long. He'd only been with Renfri for two weeks when they split and everything went to Hell. A month, more, with Jaskier, then the end of the assignment and Geralt being reassigned? He didn't want to put himself through that. He didn't have to abandon Jaskier afterward, just... He didn't want to get tied down. After all, he and Yennefer were starting to lean that way and it was putting tension on their relationship. And they had been dating for years. Maybe they could handle it, maybe, but not here. Geralt guarding Jaskier was another situation.

"I might stay," he amended. "But I'm not one to remain stationary." He didn't want to get Jaskier's hopes too high, one direction or another.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier let out a slightly relieved sigh from Geralt's words, good. That means if it came down to it, Geralt would have more guts than Jaskier, and he able to walk away.

Jaskier moved his hand slowly so that he could caress the man's hand, softly allowing this tumb to move against it as it was now palm up.

Jaskier reached up with his other hand, thankful that it was his left foot injury and not his right so he could actually turn slightly more to face him. Jaskier used his other hand, lightly wiping away an invisible strand of hair from Geralt's face, fingertips brushing against his skin and tucking the strand behind his ear. Jaskier let a smile come onto his face, a proper one this time as he gently brushed his fingers past Geralt's ear and down his neck. He was extra slow, not to be careful but to be gentle.

"Good." was all he said as he used his fingertips to lightly press and trails around, allowing them to go to his collar bone and trace along it once again, he could feel how muscular Geralt was underneath his shirt and it made him feel safe, not because it was bulky, but because it was a part of Geralt that made his Geralt. He lost in his train of thought as he trailed his fingers over Geralt's throat again, much like a few hours ago as he trailed it up and to just under Geralt's chin. He leaned forwards with a smile and kissed Geralt's chin lightly. It seeming to become a habit of his now.

"I'm glad you're here with me Geralt. Unfortunately, as it is that they ré assigned you, I see why they chose you for me," he spoke softly as his eyes lingered at where he had placed a kiss on Geralt before flicking up and meeting his eyes. "Thank you," he whispered in a sincere tone, one that someone would use as a sweet whisper to say I love you. Just the words were different and it was the easiest was to go ahead and say I love you without directly saying it.

"You've had a long night" he whispered in the same tone, voice quiet and soft. Hand trailing lightly on Geralt's jaw

_Geralt POV_

"Hm," Geralt said. He lifted his own free hand and pressed it against Jaskier's shoulder, squeezing lightly as these traces along his collarbone. Geralt's hair must have been matted and was probably greasy by that point. Why Jaskier wanted to touch it was beyond him, but he didn't mind. He liked it, even. 

Geralt trailed his hand up, tracing lightly along the side of Jaskier's neck. His fingers stilled as Jaskier kissed up his throat and then his chin. It would be so easy to tip his own head down, Geralt mused. But that hadn't gone so well the last time. The kiss they had shared had been an accident, was all. There wasn't anything behind it besides what had felt right in the heat of that moment.

Geralt met Jaskier's eyes alongside the man's murmured thanks. Geralt's heart clenched again. He didn't. He didn't see why he, of all people, had been reassigned to Jaskier. Even if he had been the best fit, which Geralt doubted he was, he had been busy with another client in a position under immediate threat. 

He didn't blame Jaskier, the man had had no way of knowing, but it still stung. He had spoken his thanks in an odd time, though. Something that shouldn't be used in a simple bodyguard. Geralt suppressed the shiver that threatened to go up to his spine. He passed the words and tone off as an effect of a long and strenuous night. Jaskier was right, it had been one. For both of them. Never mind the time with which he had said it.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier gave a small smile to Geralt as he felt the gentle touch along his throat. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing as he did so, he leaned into the touch for a moment before leaning forwards and kissed along Geralt's jaw. The feeling of the stubble under his lips was comforting, it made him able to breathe.

It was rough and grounding whereas Jaskier's lips were soft with the same smoothness as a fresh rose petal.

"You can relax love, if anything worries me I'll tell you. But for now, relax," he whispered as he placed tender kisses up to Geralt's cheekbone, allowing his lips to brush against it softly before leaned forwards, allowing their foreheads to touch.

He had no intention of closing the space between them, as much as he would've enjoyed it, he was helping Geralt to relax, not to go through a nothing wild time of different emotions.

Jaskier made it clear that we weren't going to move in by the angle of his face, keeping away from the other man's lips. He gently inhaled, smelling the faintest scent of his plain soap on Geralt and his smile widened.

He only hoped that Geralt could relax as he cupped the man's neck by the side and lightly caressed towards the hallow in his throat and back to the hand, thumb moving but hand not.

Jaskier knew that Geralt wanted boundaries of some sort, and so far it seemed to be not kissing his lips and obviously touching him inappropriately in places which would make any person uncomfortable. Jaskier sat there, breathing and softly smiling with his eyes closed. He could still see the amber color staring back at him through his memory.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt smiled slightly to himself, watching Jaskier through tired eyes. He appreciated the man not trying to go any further. They were already close enough as is. He leaned his forehead against the side of Jaskier's, suddenly more tired than he had been before. Maybe it was only now he was letting himself truly feelings exhaustion.

Geralt felt his eyes beginning to slip closed despite himself. He growled inside his head, telling himself to wake up, he was supposed to stay alert. He was the bodyguard. If either of them were to miss sleep due to keeping guard over Jaskier, it should be him. He forced his eyes open for a moment, then felt them start to slip shut again. Geralt grit his teeth. But the fact was, he had slept little in the past several days and had been sleeping poorly for weeks. Since he started with Renfri, really. There hadn't been any time to rest. He hadn't even set foot in his own apartment or seen his dog since before that job. Gods he missed that place, the people there too.

He had the sense to move enough to do that he was sitting up straight and wouldn't end up crushing Jaskier. He struggled to open his eyes again and managed, but the room swam in and out of focus and he couldn't keep them open. Geralt let them fall closed again, the easy, seductive darkness of sleep taking the upper hand in his fight with it. He grits his teeth, but he knew it was no use.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier felt Geralt's weight slightly shift against him, becoming heavier. He chuckled inwardly as he realizes the man must've been feeling the exhaustion come over him. He gently stroked the man's cheek, allowing himself to help guide the man blissfully into sleep.

Jaskier was still on a high though, he was still wide awake but he knew in a couple of hours he would probably fall asleep.

Jaskier moved slightly, slowly to make sure that he didn't disturb Geralt as the man was starting to fall asleep. He saw how he tried to open his eyes a couple of times and just laughed inwardly. He did take his job seriously which was rather adorable if Jaskier could say so himself.

He moved so that he could let Geralt sit up properly as he tried to in his half-conscious state. He chuckled verbally as he watched the man fall asleep. He used this time rather wisely, the stress was no longer on his face and he looked, well he looked peaceful. Like an angel.

After a couple of hours of sitting, thinking, evaluating the one hell of a wild day and humming to himself he felt his eyes forcing themselves closed on him, He slouched and felt himself slipping, stopping just before he hit Geralt by accident.

Geralt... Surely he wouldn't mind, right? Jaskier leaned over slowly to ensure that he didn't disturb the other man and he placed his head on his chest, changing his own position slightly with his legs to make it more comfortable. With the drumming sound od Geralt's rather slow heartbeat which Jaskier only just noticed now, he hummed once before his eyes shut properly for the night, allowing him to doze off with his snores being little puffs of forced air.


	11. blades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW: fear of cutting, mentions of past cutting

_Geralt POV_

Geralt awoke suddenly, giving a small start, his eyes opening in a room that wasn't as dark as the one he had fallen asleep in. There was a weight across him. Geralt prided himself in being able to fall asleep and stay asleep without moving, but evidently, he had ploughed sideways during the night. He legs hadn't moved much, and his waist was awkwardly twisted and bent, and he was lying sideways across the couch, partly on his back and partly on his side.

The weight on him, he realized, was Jaskier. The man was still asleep, head against Geralt's stomach. Geralt had thought he felt Jaskier press against his chest and figured their positions must have slipped when they fell over. Could have been more awkward, he supposed. Jaskier, to his utter unsurprise, was cuddly while asleep, not just awake.

Geralt didn't know how he was going to free himself. He was trapped between Jaskier and the couch. Geralt managed to work his way up so that he was leaning on one elbow. He looked to the door. It was closed and didn't look as if it had been opened recently. As best he could, Geralt scanned the apartment. When he had looked around at as much as he could see and found it satisfactory, he closed his eyes again and listened, feeling for any presence that was nearby.

His developed sixth sense didn't tip him off, and so he allowed himself half an exhale, and shifted again so he was lying back down. It was uncomfortable, this position, and he was fairly certain his arm would be going numb soon, but he owed it to Jaskier. 

He shouldn't have fallen asleep. No matter how tired he was, after Renfri and the night before, sleep had just not been an option. Anything could have happened, either to Jaskier or to him, and Geralt wouldn't have been ready. He wasn't okay with that. He was trained to be a bodyguard, he should be acting like one, rather than letting physical needs get the better of him.

He had a client who was in a vulnerable position, even more so the previous night, and he had allowed himself to doze off. Geralt growled softly at himself and rose again. He looked to his legs, wondering how to free them without waking Jaskier. A look at the clock had told him it was nearly 09:40, which explained the summer light streaming in through the windows and illuminating the dust particles.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier cuddled into Geralts stomach, nuzzling into it occasionally when he felt a movement. He was sleeping peacefully for once, the first time in months probably. He had his hand gently placed on Geralts thigh, up close by his face as it was one of the more comfortable ways to sleep for him.

Jaskier felt a movement under him as Geralt moved, sitting back up which resulted in a king Jaksier produce a small whine of protest before he opened his eyes sluggishly and looked at what he was on. A shirt... Attached to a body? 

He opened his eyes wider, unsure of what was happening before he let out a content sigh, realizing it was just Geralt. Geralt. His mind recalled every event that had happened and he hummed a little in acceptance before he looked up and met the eyes of Geralt and smiled sluggishly at him. "Good morning" he muttered out with his voice deep and raspy, unlike his usually higher and cheery voice.

He sat up, groaning a little at the pain in his hip for sleeping at such an awkward angle. He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up slightly as he blinked a couple of times to adjust his eyesight. He was greeted as soon as he moved his gaze to the clock, with the beam of light and made a face of 'oh gods why' and screwed his eyes closed before opening them again, they were watering from the sudden light. He peered over at the clock. Holy shit they had slept late. They were up past the middle of the night though so it only made sense.

Jaskier looked to Geralt again and hummed as he went to stand, hissing at his foot as he remembered that he had hurt it. He sighed, fucks sake he hated it already and it's been less than 24 hours. He looked over to his look and smiled at it fondly. 

He decided it might be best just to sit and stay there like he originally planned to... He looked to Geralt with a small sheepish smile. "Did you sleep okay?" he asked lightly, gently placing a hand on Geralt's thigh with the smile aimed at him, voice unforgivingly deep for him.

_Geralt POV_

"Alright," Geralt muttered, swinging his legs around to get off the ouch, careful to not accidentally kick Jaskier as he did so. Geralt stood, the events of the previous night returning as he awoke fully. 

The shame he felt deepened and he looked away from Jaskier, choosing to examine the kitchen floor where the Crystal glass had shattered instead. He couldn't see any more shards of crystal, but the floor was in fact interesting. He'd never noticed the slight patterns in the lino before, and how they differed square to square.

Jaskier's hand on his thigh was new. His knees had been touched the night before after Geralt had done the same. Thighs felt a bit personal. But perhaps he was reading too much into it. Yes, that was it. Jaskier had fallen asleep on top of him, this was just a friendly gesture. Between a client and his bodyguard, but it was the thought that counted.

Geralt slowly got to his feet and stretched, one arm after the other. He looked to Jaskier, who was sitting after his failed attempt at standing. Geralt's eyes went to the cause on the man's foot. It was still wrapped, which was a relief. In the dark and the panic of the previous night, Geralt hadn't gotten a good enough look to tell if this gash needed stitches as well. If it had, they hadn't been in a great position to do them. 

He just had to hope pressure and compression had worked well enough while they slept. Geralt brought his eyes back to Jaskier's face, subconsciously unfocusing them as he reached behind his head. He took hold of the leather tie holding his hair and tugged it out, letting the tangled white strands fall to his shoulders again. He shook them out and went to retie them.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he saw Geralt look at him, something was wrong, he seemed stiff. Stiffer than usual, that is. Jaskier went to say something but as soon as he noticed Geralt reach behind his own head he frowned a bit wondering what he was doing before he watched as the hair came down and framed his face. 

Jaskier was stunned, lips parted and eyes slightly widened. He didn't think that the man could get any more physically attractive, which anyone in their right mind knew he was. "Beautiful." he had let it slip, it was in a soft voice, almost a breathy one as he snapped out of it and cleared his throat.

Jaskier looked at Geralt with a small smile before it faded, his eyes going to the counter as he shivered. "We should um, call the authorities for that there. I can't fully remember what it was due to panic but I take it I wouldn't want to remember it."

Jaskier stood up off the couch, now that he was more awake he could tolerate some of the actual pain in his foot and find some balance. He tested walking on it slightly and hissed under his breath.

"Lord knows I need a shower now. Can I get that wet? Do you need to take a slash?" he asked Geralt as he pointed to his foot and then the bathroom, it's normal for the body to want to do a first pee of the day so he thought he'd ask.

His foot was just cut but, he wasn't the one who knew first aid or more and by the looks of how neatly Geralt managed to bandage it, he'd say the man had some experience in it.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt frowned at Jaskier's breathless comment, and slowly returned his hands to his hair. He gathered the top half of the white strands, which felt rather greasy under his fingers and tied them back with the leather cord.

"Do they know of your previous attack by these people?" If this was already being looked into, then there were likely records of who had been in charge of getting ahold of the bodyguard from Viper and the men she had worked with. Jaskier or his manager would have contacted the authorities already, wouldn't they? 

He didn't see this as something ignorable, though he admitted the sad truth of it if only to himself, that there may not have been a report filed. In fact, it was more likely that there hadn't been. But Jaskier was from a wealthy family and had some fame of his own, so there was a chance. Those factors might have pushed at least somebody into action.

He looked down to Jaskier's foot, wary, then back at the man's face. "You can shower." He was careful to keep his voice even and neutral. The situation with the razors could be resolved, hopefully peacefully. Geralt had made several mistakes yesterday, that was just one more drop in the bucket. "I'll go after you."

_Julian POV_

Jaskier frowned a bit as he looked at Geralt "I-I don't actually know. I don't know what they did. But I know that it wasn't announced anywhere on the news or anything like they would with any other person." he explained a little with a frown, it was frustrating to even think of it. "They probably didn't even bother seeming the people were just told not to come near me again," he explained as he shivered a little bit.

He shook the thought out of his head as he looked to Geralt. "I'm going to shower. Lord knows I need one. The stress is getting to me." he said with his voice a little sharper than usual. It was digging his fucking head in. The police here were shit. That was a fact, everyone knew that. He remembers one nice detective lady who offered to try to help him get a restraining order on the men and the bodyguard but that was brushed over and denied. Said they had more important matters to attend to. Jaskier turned and headed straight for the bathroom.

Jaskier eventually made it to the bathroom, hobbling there, hopping a few times to see if that worked better in which it didn't. It just hurt either way. He walked in, undid his laces on his pants and quickly used the bathroom as needed. He quickly finished up, flushing, washing his hands and then going to turn the shower on to warm it up. 

Yes, he was about to take a shower and he washed his hands, he liked to be extra clean, not just go ahead and touch everything with his hands covered in bacteria. He shivered lightly at the thought, just no. Especially seeming he was now sharing the place and facilities.

Jaskier brought a hand to his chin and scratched it lightly, the stubble annoying him. He'd have to deal with that once he got out of the shower. He stripped down fast, discarding of his clothing quickly before testing the water with the back of his hand, hopping inside of it happily. He didn't lock the door, he felt no need to.

He washed his hair and face once again, his make up was all smudged and messy. How Geralt didn't look at him like he was a human-sized raccoon confused him but he didn't bother to ponder it too hard. Green apple and cinnamon again today. He used hot water, ensuring that it would steam the place and bring a nice scent to the air made him smile some more as he washed at his thick brown locks of wavy mess on his head. 

He turned the shower off, carefully stepping out before he picked up his small bowl and mixer for his shaving whip to be made, grabbed the product, a citrus and apple-scented one. He really did love scents. He placed it up on the part next to the sink before he looked around, frowning lightly. He was missing his razor. It was a silver one, engravings on the side and it flipped out the blade. It was given to him as a gift by the man who had taught him how to play the lute before he passed away. 

He got told to use it when he was old enough. He was so young when he knew that man back in London, he was like his father. Jaskier was panicking before he felt a bit of anger strike at him. All the blades were missing, not just that one. He didn't mean to and tried to breathe properly as he opened the door and called out.

"Geralt! Where the fuck are my blades!" he yelled out, his tone not bothering to hide that he was in fact, severely angered. The anger mainly thrived on fear of it being lost or broken of some sort and he hadn't had it lost until Geralt came here. 

So he must have some idea. It was uncharacteristic of him to get so angered so easily, but it was important to him. He was still dripping wet when he opened the door and stood in the hallway looking out into the living room with a frown on his brow. One of panic and anger and a whole lot of confusion.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt felt the dread rise in him slowly as Jaskier talked. When he watched the man hobble and hop towards the bathroom, he had to close his eyes and turn away. Geralt's slow heartbeat was uncomfortably loud in his ears. Any minute now. If he had been a praying man, he might have prayed for a conflictless solution. 

As it was, he settled for remaining to stand and crossing his arms over his chest. He faced the wall the apartment door was on, not looking at the door, but it remained in his peripheral vision. He felt the guilt and dread twist tighter in him as he heard the shower water turn on. Geralt closed his eyes and took himself through several deep breaths. 

He shouldn't be getting so worked up and tense over this. It was just razors and some blades. He had them safely tucked away, altogether. They could be easily returned. Calmer now, he opened his eyes again.

The familiar dread rose again as he heard the shower water stop. He caught himself wishing he was back on the rooftops with Renfri, getting shot at as they ran. Geralt growled and shoved those thoughts away. That was then, and this was now. He needed to stay focused. There was some clattering from the bathroom. 

Geralt allowed himself one more deep breath before he heard the shout of his name. In Jaskier's voice, the anger seemed so out of character. He heard the bathroom door swung open and the man steps out onto the carpeted floor of the hallway, still dripping. 

Geralt turned at a reasonable pace to face him, hands spread calmly and passively in front of him. Despite the fact that there was a towel wrapped loosely around his waist and Jaskier closely resembled a half-drowned rat, Geralt felt no desire to mess with him.

"Jaskier," he said, mindful of his tone. He kept it even. He would not be the aggressor here. "Let me explain." He knew he would be cut off as he reached for the words he had silently been preparing since he took the blades, but he had to try. This wasn't going to go as smoothly as he had hoped, he could see that much. He didn't know what he had been thinking upon taking the razors. Perhaps he hadn't been.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier saw Geralt, let him explain he said. Jaskier growled, he didn't care about anything the man said right now. He stormed up, the best he could, ignoring the pain in his foot which honestly only helped fuel his anger at the moment. He walked right up to Geralt and daringly enough, he pushed the man, pounding onto his chest. 

If he stayed up, Jaskier would pound on him from there. If he fell down, Jaskier would get on his knees in-between Geralt's legs and punch into his chest from down there. He didn't care, he needed it back. His punches were weak, they weren't actual punches. Well, the first two or three may have been.

"Fucks sake Geralt! That shit isn't yours then don't fucking touch it! Didn't your mother teach you any fucking manners! Give me it back now! Fuck the other blades by my shaving engraved one, give it back! Give it back!" He was looking directly at Geralt, he had tears streaming down his face in fear that Geralt may have done something stupid with it, gotten rid of it or even worse, stolen it and sold it. 

His mind went to the worst possible scenarios as he choked and started to sob. He didn't think about the cruel words that came out of his mouth, he had no right to talk about his mother or even mention her. His punches grew weaker as he ended up only lightly smacking his chest as if he were waking a fly away. His head how bowed before he leaned it onto Geralt's chest with a defeated sob escaping his throat. 

"Please, Please tell me you still have it Geralt, Please." He started to sob uncontrollably as he felt his hands shaking from the fear of him no longer having it.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt stood there. Stood there and took it, let the words go over him. Felt the words with bitter humour. He had to suppress the sudden urge to laugh. Of course, his mother had never taught him better. He had been raised by the Corps. 

They had been the ones to teach him such things. He didn't remember much about his mother, beyond her smile and the way that she had left him behind one day. Told him to fetch a bucket of water and left, leaving him for Vesemir to find. He barely felt Jaskier's blows, even from the start. He didn't back down. Didn't even quake. He just let Jaskier's anger run its course.

He kept his eyes open, fixed on Jaskier's tear-filled blue ones that were unseen in his anger. He let Jaskier pound against his chest then sob and weaken his punches until Geralt hardly felt them anymore. He wanted to catch Jaskier's wrists and force the man to stop, to hold him still, to calm Jaskier's anger, but he knew the gesture would be unwanted. It wouldn't be well received, and right now, Geralt didn't need to get further onto Jaskier's bad side. 

It was painful enough as it was. He hadn't expected this anger, this rage from the man who he had held and comforted, the man whose soft and sad music he had listened to. Was it only hours previously he had done such things? They say the morning brings a new side of lovers. Clients didn't seem to be much different. That had only been the first day. People were usually kind to him on the first day. Perhaps these were Jaskier's true colours showing. Geralt hoped not, but it wasn't as if he had the information to tell.

"I still have it," Geralt murmured to Jaskier. "I still have all of them. I only moved them." He carefully took a step back, the backs of his knees nearly hitting the couch. "Give me a minute and I'll get them." He slowly moved around Jaskier, keeping his hands in the air and level with his shoulders, trying to show he was no threat.

Never turning his back to Jaskier, Geralt retreated to the hallway. Once he felt the carpet under his feet, he felt safe enough (safe, gods, and he had thought he was the threat here, not Jaskier) to turn back around. He's back to the man, Geralt reached for the handle to the room he staying in. He closed the door most of the way behind him, more out of habit than anything else.

He crossed to his duffel bag, which was still sitting harmlessly on the rug. He felt the outside pocket where he had stashed the razors. He made out their edges and the rough shape of them then reached for the zipper of the pocket. Geralt unzipped it slowly, and reached in at the same speed, sliding his fingers against the fabric as to not cut himself. His hand closed around the handles of the razors and he took them out. He opened the plastic bag he had stuck them in and took off the rubber band. He set the one with the engraved handle aside, the one Jaskier had begged to see returned. Geralt tied the others back together and stuck them in the plastic bag. He took bag and razor handle in one hand and zipped the pocket of his duffel bag with the other.

He rose to his feet, feeling oddly shaky. He didn't know why. Geralt went back out into the hallway, shutting the door of the bedroom behind him properly this time. He padded back down the hall to Jaskier. He switched the engraved razor to his other hand and held out the bag and handle to the man, an apology on his lips.

"I'm sorry." He couldn't promise it wouldn't happen again. Geralt had to trust in his own judgement. But he had jumped to conclusions the day before, and that was what had brought them here. That, he was sorry about. He was sorry he had hurt Jaskier, that he had taken something of value from the man. But he didn't regret it. It had seemed a necessary precaution, and still somewhat did. Geralt would just have to work something else out, and with Jaskier this time, instead of alone. He drew breath, realizing that two words likely wasn't enough.

"I was.. scared." That was the word. Not something he could easily admit to, but he had been taught to admit to his mistakes, something he had found crucial in his particular line of work. Fear often led to mistakes.

"I came to conclusions without evidence, and I shouldn't have." But he had been so worried. So scared of finding Jaskier dead one morning, having killed himself in the night. He had seen the scars on Yennefer's wrists. He knew she still felt the same at times. He couldn't let that happen to anyone else.

Unsure of what to do next, Geralt remained standing. He kept his arms hanging loosely by his sides. He would have been more comfortable crossing them, but that radiated too much aggression and confidence, neither of which he wanted to give off right now. Clasping his hands behind his back would have been his second pick, but it seemed too formal, though at times he felt a bit childish while doing it. "So I'm sorry," he said again. "You have my apologies for this incident."

_Julian POV_

Jaskier paused as soon as he heard the man still had his razor. He watched as Geralt had his hands up and moved to the bedroom.

Jaskier then had realize what he had said. He insulted his mother so effortlessly and he didn't know anything about her. What the hell was he thinking? He looked at his hands as he waited for Geralt to come back out to him in the living room. They were shaking, of course, they were he was so riled up. How did Geralt feel? Was he okay? Jaskier's mind flickered back to his father back in London. How he was treated, yelled at, screamed at much like how Jaksier had just risen his voice at Geralt.

He remembered it. Started to feel it. When he was standing, unknowing what to do as a six-year-old boy. His father had stuck him down to the ground via an unkind punch which smashed in his nose and jaw. He played on the ground, kicked repetitively as he tried to breathe but his father stomped on his ribs every time, usually breaking them when he struggled to breathe. He had punched Geralt in the chest, even though it felt like nothing to Geralt because of his muscles, he still did it. He still did the action.

His head raised up a little as he noticed Geralt coming back into the room. He stared at the blade before staring at Geralt. His rage had faded, completely vanished as he watched Geralt walk towards him. He was silent, standing, creating a puddle at his feet as the towel clung to him due to it soaking from the water that dripped down Jaskier.

Geralt just apologised. Why? Jaskier was the one who acted harshly, unjust. He could've just asked Geralt where they were instead of being such an ass hole about it, instead of being so much like his fucking father.

His facial expression was one of sadness. He was so over this roller coaster of emotions that he was putting Geralt through. He was sorry for the poor man, a hit was just smacked and hurt by his client. By Jaskier. If he wasn't hurt physically he just hoped he didn't hurt him mentally or emotionally.

Jaskier listened intently to Geralt as he stared at the blade in which was behind handed to him. He looked at it and back to Geralt. He acted irrationally, like a fool and now Geralt had his walls up. He took the bag and engraved razor, placing them to the side after he stared at the razor for a moment, fresh tears coming out of his eyes. He did it to protect him in case of anything. He wasn't wrong, Jaskier would have tried to of done something with the blades if he could. He remembers back to the kitchen the first moment he stepped foot into the house again, he wanted to use a knife.

He let an airy silence come over them for a moment before he stood back from the blades that he placed on the kitchen island. He turned to Geralt. A guilty expression crossed his face as he walked to Geralt and instantly wrapped his arms around the man's waist, letting his forehead rest onto his shoulder as he sniffed, composing himself.

"I'm sorry Geralt. I'm sorry. You had every right to take them away from me, it's good you did actually. When I have my PTSD attacks it's my main option that I see. I have scars, I used to use makeup to cover them. And oils to try to make them disappear, they're faint now but thankfully they're nearly gone. Shit, I'm sorry." he said as he lifted his face up out of Geralt's neck and looked at him. 

"I didn't mean to be so cruel, I acted as my father did. I-I didn't know how else to react instantly when I was terrified. The- The blade it's from the same man who gave me my lute. He was like my father. I ran to him when I was a kid and my father was abusing us, he was like my dad and when he died and I could no longer see him, he told me to keep it in his memory and use it when I get old enough. I-I'm sorry I got so distraught I didn't know what to do. Geralt please forgive me, I am sorry. I know an apology doesn't do much when it's just words but I'm sorry." he spoke fast, stuttering and tripping over his own words.

It's true, his scars were faint, they were nearly gone. They ran upwards on his inner forearms. His father used to have a saying. Across the street for attention, down the street for results. Jaskier used to grab whatever he could and slice up his arm to try and fix things. It's taken years to get them to fade and they were still noticeable when looked at. It was why he wore long-sleeved shirts when on lives.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt stared numbly as Jaskier spoke, tripping over the words through his tears. He wrapped his arms around the man, clenching his teeth and bowing his head some. No one deserved to go through that. No matter who they were. He was grateful Jaskier had found an escape and someone kinder. Was glad the man was now out of his home country, hidden away here in the States. No one deserved the abuse.

When Jaskier apologized, Geralt felt his heart try to tear in two. Not much, but it was more than he had felt towards someone who wasn't Yennefer, Ciri, or Renfri in a long time. He had been taught to bury his emotions so deeply they never had cause to see the light of day. 

But this... Training didn't take into account the fact that one day, the people who went through it might have a body pressed against them, a broken mind with it that needed words, needed them to feel something. Geralt reached for the words, unsure do what to say. How do you respond to a confession like that?

"You're forgiven," he murmured, meaning the words. Geralt took a shaky breath, bringing his hands up over Jaskier's to grip the man's shoulders. Gods. "Jaskier, I forgive you." No wonder Jaskier had panicked so when he found the trinket his beloved father figure had given to him missing. No wonder he had lashed out. It had stung, but not badly. Jaskier had had a reason. Geralt didn't have to like what the man had done, and he would expect him to improve on it, but finding forgiveness for Jaskier was easy.

He trailed one hand up from where it rested on Jaskier's shoulder to the back of the man's neck, resting their foreheads together. Geralt was the taller one, but not by too much. He kept his eyes open, amber watching blue. He pushed down the ridiculous urge to apologise again.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's eyes lit up a little as he heard Geralt say that he forgave him. Geralt had said it twice, that, that was new. He must've meant it if a man like him who stuck with what he said once he said it, turned around and said it twice.

Jaskier found a small smile creeping at his lips, a ghost of one but it was still there. He allowed Geralt to move his hand from his shoulder up to his neck and a proper smile came on his face as he felt their foreheads touch. Jaskier raised one hand between their bodies, resting a hand on Geralt's chest on his left side, once again where his heartbeat lay. He trailed his had slightly down, noticing the feeling of Geralt's muscles underneath as Jaksier thought that Geralt could be used as a cheese grater. He chuckled lightly at his own joke before moving his hand back over Geralt's heartbeat.

His other hand moved up, cupping Geralt's cheek softly as he stroked it with his thumb, looking into the other man's eyes. He was swimming in them, those gorgeous Amber eyes that filled his soul with so much emotion. The relief was flashing in his own eyes before the emotion of admiration and love, pure love was directed at Geralt. 

Jaskier could feel Geralt's breath on his lips and he tried his best to ignore it but his eyes started closing and he started to lean in. He diverted his path which was going to Geralt's lips, to Geralt's jaw to the side of Geralt's lips. This resulted in Jaskier accidentally catching the corner of their mouths but the main kiss was towards Geralt's jaw thankfully. 

He trailed the kisses down to Geralt's chin with a hum before allowing their foreheads to rest together. "Forgive me," he whispered one last time as his eyes opened and he looked into Amber ones. He felt drunk, intoxicated, high and... He could not bring himself to confess the last part.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt gently stroked the back of Jaskier's neck, thumb running through the freshly washed hair just above it. He saw Jaskier's eyes shut as he leaned in, and Geralt tensed slightly. He didn't mind the platonic kissing, though perhaps it wasn't his favourite. But so soon? After the awkwardness of the previous time? If Jaskier was certain, then Geralt was okay with it.

But to Geralt's somewhat shock and to his great annoyance, _disappointment_ , Jaskier diverted so that only the corners of their mouths met. Not that Geralt minded. Or had harboured the hope of something more. No, not at all.

Jaskier's hand over Geralt's heart was pleasant. Geralt removed his other hand from the man's shoulder and pressed it over Jaskier's hand. He knew his palms were warmer than the backs of Jaskier's hands. Geralt knew that he himself ran high, perhaps Jaskier's temperature tended to run cold.

At Jaskier's last beg for forgiveness, Geralt exhaled again. It wasn't frustrating, exactly, more relieved and like he was exhaling tension. He could feel the man's breath against his lips. Not certain of what he was doing or why Geralt moved to complete what Jaskier had started. He tilted his head just enough and leaned in. If Jaskier wanted to back out he could. There was still a centimetre of space between Geralt's lips and Jaskier's.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier hummed as he moved into Geralt's touch, humming in approval as he felt Geralt's hand encompass his own hand. A smile played at his lips as he stared into Geralt's eyes, he felt the exhale on his lips, it wasn't a grouchy one, or one that was forced but it was what sounded like relief. Relief as to what we'll, considering what just happened, Jaskier could only image what part of it he was relieved about.

His shoulders relaxed slightly as he felt Geralt's breath become suddenly closer to his lips. He let out his own sigh as he leaned in, stroking the man's cheek softly as he slowed and allowed their lips to lightly brush at first, the gentlest of touch. 

Jaskier's lips which felt like rose petals and tasted like the wine from the night before, unfortunately, it was going out instead of in but it was the only thing he'd had so it was purely wine. There was a slight tang of it amongst the plain flavour of Jaskier's sweet mouth. He pressed his hand flat against Geralt's chest as he allowed himself to feel the other man's heartbeat completely. The thud of it making Jaskiers heart speed up.

Jaskier pressed his lips closer to Geralt's, allowing their lips to fully mould against one another. Jaskier was a slow kisser, one of passion and a gentle tenderness which was not commonly found. Jaskier felt himself moving slower than he ever had, the passion behind it, all the repressed feelings. He gently allowed their lips to mould before he relaxed his lips and pressed a kiss against their already connected lips. Slow steady and both of them in control.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt felt half-delirious as Jaskier closed the distance between them. Of all the reactions he had been expecting, this was the one he had been hinting towards, yes, but that didn't necessarily make it the one he had expected. What was Geralt doing? He truly didn't know. He had no reason, and no right, to kiss Jaskier, and yet here he was.

Geralt splayed the hand he had against Jaskier's neck against his hair and neck, curling his fingers in to keep a firmer hold on the man. He could taste the wine Jaskier had drunk, laced with the man's natural sweetness. Geralt let Jaskier take control of the kiss, he himself taking charge of holding them together. He squeezed the hand Jaskier had laid against his chest with his own. How Geralt's heartbeat hadn't started to speed up, he didn't know, but it seemed set in remaining slow and consistent.

He followed Jaskier's pace. Geralt knew he could feel rather like kissing a block of stone at times, and he was rarely wild, not he wasn't passionate, he was just controlled, but Jaskier seemed to want slow and tender, and Geralt could give him that. He kept it chaste. When he gently broke away, whether for breath or for good he didn't know, he didn't let himself linger on Jaskier's lips. He kept their foreheads together and his eyes most of the way closed, breathing.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier felt Geralt start to pull away and followed after his lips, a light whine nearly escaping his throat at the loss of Geralt's lips.

He opened his eyes halfway, pressing his forehead against Geralt's softly and he stared into his honey golden orbs of beauty. Jaskier's hand caressed slightly at Geralt's jaw, Jaksier's mind was reeling at the same time as being completely calm. He looked to Geralt's lips before leaning in slightly so that they brushed, a light hum escaping out his throat and against Geralt's lips. 

He moved his lips over the man's jaw, soft gentle loving kisses placed along it every few centimetres as he took his time, allowing time to slow down for the two of them. He dared to lean their chests closer so that Jaskier's chest was on the back of his hand. He kissed slow and sure along Geralt's jaw, up following the curve of it before making his way back down, kissing his chin before darling to go under his chin, following slowly down his neck to his Adam's apple before moving back up to Geralt to rest his forehead against his.

Jaskier really shouldn't be doing this, he was a client and Geralt was his Bodyguard but oh gods, how his heart craved to pour out to the other man and let him know he was loved, he was sorry and he was forgiven.

It was a mixture of everything, intoxicating him. The scent of Jaskier's fresh shower had wafted through the air out of the bathroom due to the steam and the fact that he scrubbed his hair and skin thoroughly so it carried the scent. Jaskier's eyes gazed lovingly into Geralt's, he could get lost in Geralt and he was slightly afraid he already had.


	12. Djinn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: nudity, the ring box, homophobia (sort of), "whore" being used as an insult

_Geralt POV_

Geralt kept stroking the back of Jaskier's neck with his thumb, letting his arm relax as the man moved. When he returned to leaning their foreheads against each other, staring into Geralt's eyes, Geralt found himself staring back into blue orbs. There were tear tracks running down Jaskier's face, and he loosened the hand behind his head. 

Geralt brought that hand out front and slowly wiped what was left of Jaskier's tears away. It wasn't all that effective, but it was a small comfort, at least to Geralt. He closed his eyes and gave himself one more long, soft exhale before lifting his head and creating distance between himself and Jaskier again. Geralt's eyes went to the box.

"We need to deal with that." He nodded towards it. Geralt let the hand that had been stroking Jaskier's cheek slide down his face, stroking his jaw and neck as he trailed it off his shoulder, smoothing down the man's damp arm until he came to his wrist. He lifted it, eyes finding the pale white lines that hadn't yet faded. 

"And this. What do you want me to do?" He didn't want another situation like today, he really didn't, but Geralt also recognized that he was to protect his client. His contract never specifically said 'from himself', but Geralt read between the lines and made his own judgement. He was willing to trust Jaskier, he had to, but if things turned ugly Geralt wasn't going to hesitate to act.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier hummed lightly as he felt Geralt move away but as soon as he felt his hand trailing of Jaskier shoulder and down his arm, he caught the glimpse that Geralt gave his arm, it was to be expected as he did just spill some of his guts to Geralt. Jaskier gave a light-hearted laugh at Geralt, ignoring the comment about the box for now. 

"Well um, I think while I'm as I am that you should keep them but please, before moving stuff, come and ask me. I-I won't react as I did before, it was disgusting and yes I am apologising again. But I really need a shave, I feel too overdressed with my stubble." he admitted a little while trailing his hand down Geralt's chest and down his abdomen.

Jaskier took to Geralt now that their bodies had separated slowly. He stared at the man, blinking a couple of times, trying to read him at the same time as thinking of what to say. Then he remembers it's probably best he face what he was avoiding.

"We should, um, go to see the police or call them in." he said as he cleared his throat "I know one of the detectives, she helped me out. She said that if there was a second case of something of the like happening she'd get her team to do it no matter what. Guess we should just pray for that to be true." he said with a raised eyebrow as he spoke, thinking of what she could do with such a shitty police team.

But even if that weren't to happen, she tried. If the police just told them to go away and not be in contact with me from the events in which they nearly raped him and ended up creating a mental disorder, well mental disorders considering.

He smiled a little at Geralt, those eyes. God's they were like a celestial sea. He opened his mouth to say something. Anything really, as per usual. But the feeling of material that clung to him, peeling away and falling to the ground made his parted lips stop in their tracks and a very hot warmth coming up his necks, lightly reddening his chest as well and his cheeks. Well, they were of fire.

His hands instantly went to catch the material but it fell to the floor in a heavy sloshy thud. Jaskier forgot that he was kinda looking like a drowned rat. The best thing that he could do was cover himself using his hands as he overly blue eyes, in contrast with his reddened cheeks, looked at Geralt in a rushed manner.

"T-Turn around!" he exclaimed rather hurriedly but he didn't yell. He was far too embarrassed, his voice cracking as he announced his request towards him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt kept his grip on Jaskier's wrist, not looking at it anymore, just holding it. His other hand still held Jaskier's where it rested on his chest. He didn't much care for the stubble either. It made Jaskier look far too old and rough.

Geralt grunted his agreement to Jaskier's words in moving things. He hadn't meant to cause conflict or harm, but it had happened. He was going to try to avoid causing that again as much as it made sense too. But he had a mission first and foremost. Geralt slowly stroked along Jaskier's wrist and forearm with his thumb as the man talked, only just feeling the scars beneath his calluses.

"Who is this detective?" He inquired. If he knew her, then perhaps Geralt could pull in a favour. If she was otherwise occupied, it wouldn't work, but Jaskier had said she'd try to help no matter what. It would be worth going to her, certainly.

When Jaskier's towel dropped, Geralt heard it and felt the weight of it slide past his legs. He kept his eyes fixed on Jaskier's. When the man ordered him to turn around, voice cracking, Geralt gave a small chuckle, little more than a crooked smile and air, and turned around. He crossed his arms, waiting.

It was past 10:00 by now, according to the clock. The angle of the light on the floor had changed, though the brightness of the room hadn't. Geralt remained still, listening for when Jaskier told him to turn around again.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's face was beetroot red as he quickly picked up his towel and wrapped it around his waist once again, tighter this time instead of it only loosely hanging. It better fucking stay there. He muttered quietly "You- You can turn around." he said as he tried to glare at the man while he turned around. That brute. He damn well laughed at Jaskier before turning round, the damn smile before he turned around was unmistakable.

"You-You damn cheeky bugger." he tried to insult him, raising his hand to Geralt's jaw, caressing the rough stubble a couple of times before kissing his cheekbone. He couldn't help it, he was mad, playfully mad. And the kisses always helped him to calm down after embarrassing moments. He smirked a little before he moved his lips to Geralt's neck and bit it, relatively hard but not meant to be painful, only tingly and so he'd remember it. 

"There, now we are even. You laugh, you get bit," he said in a pouty voice and he folded his arms and slightly pouted, trying to ignore the fact that one his legs were throbbing from standing on it for so long and two his face was a blushing mess and with his hair making him look like a goose gone wild, probably didn't help.

"The detective is Pricilla. She's a kind woman. Only good cop around this place." he said, he was serious but his tone was pouty and playful as he kept his arms folded and wore a tiny smirk in the corner of his lips, trying not to give in and grin at Geralt.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt only smirked at Jaskier's anger, catching that the man was playful rather than truly mad. He uncrossed his arms, setting his hands on Jaskier's sides, just above his towel. He would have held onto the man's hips, but that could have easily led to the towel falling again. He let Jaskier press his lips to his neck, feeling his teeth before the man sunk them in. He gently swatted Jaskier's side, unsure if it would be permitted, but going along with Jaskier's mood.

"I'm not sure how biting and laughing are even," he said, voice rumbly with amusement. He kept the smirk on his face a moment longer, then let it fall as Jaskier turned serious. He knew Detective Priscilla. Not well, and he hadn't had to work with her before, but he had heard of her reputation and had spoken with her on a few occasions.

There was a tempting smirk lingering at the corner of Jaskier's mouth. Geralt refrained from kissing him again, instead of letting himself stroke the man's side a few more times before removing his hands. They needed to get moving. The station should be open by now, and the sooner they got started the sooner they would get done.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier chuckled lightly as saw Geralt's smirk stay playfully on his lips as he called Jaskier out. He just rolled his eyes lightly and chuckle, seeing how Geralt came back to work in his mind, a couple of caresses on his hips before he was let go. Jaskier grabbed the shaving razor from off of the kitchen Ísland corner and wrinkled his nose up as he looked at the box. 

He picked up the other blades that were still in their bad with the rubber band around it and held it out to Geralt. "You're better on keeping hold of these for now. I'll hold onto my razor if that's okay. It just seems too cruel for me to shove it somewhere." he explained lightly.

He walked past Geralt, if he were still in a playful mood he would've been tempted to smack his ass lightly before running away, being a bit of a dick. Instead, he kissed Geralt's shoulder as he walked past him and into the bathroom.

Jaskier had a time limit, he knew they did so he was trying to go fast. He lightly put some water on his brush, swirling it on the wax-like open container from earlier when he smelt it.

He popped the lid on it, swirling the brush inside the bowl for it to foam up happily before he gently placed it on his jaw and just under his neck, not being too careful with the application as they were in a rush. He popped the brush in the bowl and set it aside before grabbing the razor and swinging it open, lightly touching the blade. Yep, still sharp. 

He angled his face, creating a few faces as he gently shaved away. At the end, he made sure he didn't miss any areas and luckily he hadn't. He quickly washed his materials, oiling his blade hinge before folding it and opening the cup bored, placing it on the shelf inside of it. He picked up a bottle of toning oil that smelt of Cinnamon, his main two scents. He had ones which smelt of berries and vanilla but that was what he classed as his sexual scent.

He growled as he walked around, grumbling in his head or under his breath as he tried to walk on it normally, a limp was obviously present and honestly, it hurt like a fucking butch and the more he walked on it the more it damn well hurt.

Jaskier walked to his room, quickly pulling out a pair of skin-tight pale blue-grey pants that hugged at his legs in a fashion that he had to do the awkward hop, except on one leg. In the end, he got them on, doing up the three buttons and the hidden fly at the front. He looked at his shirts. What to wear. He picked out his blue flowy shirt that was the same style as his previous shirt, only the material was a deep blue transparent net-like material. 

He tucked it in and bagged it out as per usual. His shoes, fuck he couldn't wear his normal boots. Well, he'd have to settle with flats. He grabbed his boots that had a practically non-existant heel to them and slid them on after putting on odd socks, one yellow and the other pink, both in neon colours. He struggled slightly with his left foot, the pressure on it hurting but he couldn't just wear no shoes. He walked on it taking a few steps, gods it hurt more than before. 

He hissed through his teeth before clenching his jaw, that would just have to work. He quickly moved to the bathroom, throwing on foundation and doing a quick 5 min job of his makeup, a deep blue smokey eye always took only a couple of seconds. He did it, the colours midnight blue and black with, his favourite part, a dark blue shimmer of glitter to it. 

He outlined his eyes with a dark blue that matched the midnight look, grabbing product from the shelf, a wax sort as he ran his hands through his hair, carefully avoiding the cut on his head which seemed to of numbed itself. Which is expected due to his foot hurting so badly. He grabbed his keys, wallet and looked around for his phone. He came out into the living room and picked it up off the couch. Shit, he forgot it was flat. He shoved it in his pocket anyway.

It has been 10 minutes or so as he finished up his hair, spiking it up lightly as the natural curl of it decided to be a pain in the ass and springy today. He paced to the bathroom before growling at his fucking foot as he grabbed his perfume. He preferred it to the masculine like ones they made. It was vanilla, with a hint of cinnamon. He placed some on his wrists and dabbed it carefully before poking his head out the bathroom. "Geralt?" he called wondering where he was in the house as he hadn't been paying attention.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt, meanwhile, had made his way over to the window. He stood beside it and leaned against the wall, arms crossed as he looked out it. Below, in the street, he could see people commuting. Some were walking dogs despite the late morning hour. He saw two boys chase each other down the street, saw employees polishing the outside decor of their business. It was the general hubbub of a city, and Geralt just watched. 

He considered showering, but they really should get moving and he had taken on the day before anyways. He could wash properly when they got back. Geralt retreated from the window back to the couch as he heard Jaskier make his way to his room. Geralt leaned against the back of the couch with one hip, not standing on the sitting side. He spared a glance to the door then looked towards the hallway, which was on the wall in front of him. He didn't know where his phone had ended up in last night's confusion, but his keys were still in one pocket.

"Here," he said, standing up straight from where he had been leaning. The man had cleaned up well, though Geralt had to mentally raise an eyebrow at the glitter. Jaskier's wannabe playboy-rockstar side was showing again. But it was Jaskier's look, not Geralt's. The man could do as he pleased.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's lips turned upwards as he saw Geralt as he was just about to walk to him before he stopped in his tracks, holding up a finger to gesture that he'd be one moment. He grabbed his plum lipstick, it truly was his favourite. He applied it directly this time, outlining his lips happily. 

He pressed his lips together a couple of times, it starting to make a cream matt as he walked out the bathroom and back to Geralt, the limp unable to be hidden but he could try to hide the pain at least a little bit. Plus at the moment when he walked, he did a pretty good job at hiding it. His mind flashed to the memory of a did he did in England. 

They called him Fashion for short when they asked who was playing at the pub because he wore the craziest clothing and colours. He enjoyed it though. He smiled as he walked to Geralt and placed a hand on the man's waist, taking advantage that his arms were crossed and exposing his beautifully curved waist.

"Darling. When we get back we really must wash your hair," he said not even bothering to hide the face he said we and wanted to wash Geralt's hair for him. He looked up to his eyes and smiled, the lipstick sharpening his natural lips as he did so.

"So um, did you went me to grab the uh," he said as he gestured to the box of gloves and the small box. He faintly remembered it before he saw the liquid off of it and gagged slightly, covering it up by clearing his throat and hiding his disgusted look as he faces towards it. He traced his hand up and down Geralt's side as he waved his other hand in a gesture towards the object.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt's eyes went to Jaskier's injured foot as the man limped over to him. He was trying to hide it and was doing a good job, but his movements were too stiff to be natural. Jaskier's hand on his waist felt slightly off, and Geralt considered uncrossing his arms. He shook off the idea. The man was standing just fine, despite the fact that wearing shoes could not be comfortable right now. He didn't need Geralt to support him.

Geralt lifted one hand to his hair, running his fingers through the last few centimetres of it. They caught on the white strands, and he had to work to get his fingers out and down to the ends. Perhaps washing it wasn't such a bad idea, even if Jaskier had said we. Geralt was more than capable of washing his own hair.

He looked to the box, saw the shiver of disgust cross Jaskier's face before the man tried to hide it. "I'll do it," he said, both an offer and a statement, but more so the latter. "Where's my phone?" He wasn't leaving without that, and he still needed Jaskier's contact information. Geralt gently removed Jaskier's hand from his side, taking hold of the man's wrist with one hand and prying it off. He released Jaskier's arm at the man's side and made for the counter.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier slightly punted internally at the loss of contact but they had a job to do now. Plus Geralt probably would want to look professional in front of all the police and individuals they were about to deal with. So Jaskier decided it was best that he pull his big boy panties out and put on his facade. He was doing a good enough job with a facade for afoot, how hard would it be to mask his feelings?

He moved around, looking at the ground once Geralt had mentioned his phone was missing. He moved over to the couches, poking and prodding until he reached down the back of one and pulled out a phone, it was this so it must've been Geralt's.

His mind went back to the pub nights in England. He used the name Jaksier so no one knew who he was. He wore so much makeup and clothing that was off so nobody noticed who he was or could identify him. With his make up now, it was nowhere near as heavy or as much as he used to wear to try and hide his identity. 

He stopped humming and shuddered lightly as he remembered what happened when his father found out. He had been relatively good at the lute by then, 4 or 5 years into it he thought but he couldn't really remember. He remembered it was once his father figure passed that he was caught and it was hell. 

Luckily the pub bartender knew him well enough and was a good man, kept his lute behind the pub bottom to ensure it wasn't touched and lied to his father when he demanded for it. He owes a lot to those two, and a couple of others as well.

He zoned back into focus as he looked back to Geralt with a hum and looked at him. "Want me to check it for you while your hands are full? Or should I just slip it into my pocket for you or into your pocket?" he asked giving different options. He wasn't going to even see if it had battery or not in case Geralt had some private photo as his backgrounds or lock screen. Not that Jaskier didn't want to see but. It was Geralt's privacy.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt took a pair of gloves from where the box still sat on the counter. He pulled one on, then began opening cabinets, looking for a plastic bag to put the ring box in. He thought he had seen some last when he had looked through the cabinets. If not he had some in his bag. Geralt found some and took on, shutting the drawer before returning to the island. He looked to Jaskier, turning his head slightly as he mostly looked with his eyes. His gaze went to the phone Jaskier held. It was his, unless Jaskier also had a heavy-duty black case and kept his camera covered.

"Check it. There's probably a text from Yen. Don't touch my camera roll or files. Or anything from work. And don't reply." He returned his gaze to the counter. Geralt opened the plastic bag, and pulled on the other glove. Fixing it so that the part that lay on his wrist wasn't twisted, he reached for the box. He pressed down once on the lid to ensure it was closed, then worked his fingers under the thing. It was disgustingly slippery. Not because of how slimy it was, which wasn't much, but because of what had made it so.

As an afterthought, he added, "make yourself a contact." He would be spending most of his time with Jaskier, but if they got separated or Geralt was recalled back to the Corps base, he wanted to be in touch with the man. Geralt slid the box into the bag, peeling contaminated glove off before shutting it with that hand. It kept the opening of the bag clean. That done, Geralt took off the other glove and balled them together.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nodded as he watched Geralt move the object around. Jaskier couldn't help but the let the shiver down his spine make him have a temporary shake.

His mind, from just the sight of what he thought was release which, oh gods that's disgusting. The idea of there being release bought back memories to his mind. He felt the image flash. Shutting his eyes and trying to make sure his breathing was in check and to get rid of the image in his head.

He shifted his weight to his good leg as he blinked a couple of times, turning on Geralt's phone, not able to concentrate on anything due to him closing his eyes and twitching his head again to try and shake out the images from his head.

He tried his best to act as normal as possible as he blinked a few times, the screen had timed off and went to black. Jaskier cursed under his breath as he turned it on again and the flash of a phone screen that was pointed at them when he was attacked flashed into his mind as he twitched his head again, slightly more violently this time. It was quite usual for it to happen when he was repressing the memories from coming back and getting to his head.

He went to curse before his eyes squeezed painfully shut and his head violently jerked as he moved his hands to his the sides of his head, still holding onto the phone as he gritted his back teeth before blinking a few times after a moment, his vision fixing itself. He moved his hands back down and turned on Geralt's screen this time being able to look at it. He unlocked it quickly before opening up contacts and adding his number into his phone and his email in case. He even added his address in there even though the man clearly knew where he lived.

He moved out of contacts and opened up the texts app and looked at it as he checked if there were any new messages.

He was pushing himself, he knew he was. His head didn't hurt, not yet but he knew he was going to have a headache at some point. He ignored the fact and continued on with life.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt left the bag on the counter and threw away the used gloves. He saw the Jaskier was doing something with his phone and decided to let the man be. He was probably just entering his contact information. If he wasn't, Geralt would deal with it later. Right now, he wanted to brush his teeth then leave for the station.

"Give me a minute," he muttered to Jaskier and walked past him. He reached the door of the room Jaskier was letting him stay in and opened it. He crossed to his duffel bag and unzipped it. Geralt took out another pouch, not his flat leather one but a black one with mesh pockets on the sides. He opened that and removed a toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. 

Geralt stood again and walked across the hall into the bathroom. It was steamy still, the scents of Apple's and cinnamon still filling the air. The same scents had clung to Jaskier, along with what Geralt thought was vanilla. It fit the man, somehow. Geralt couldn't have pulled it off, but Jaskier did.

Geralt left the door open a crack behind him, both for ventilation and to make hearing Jaskier easier. He set what he was holding beside the sink and turned it on, rinsing his hands off. Not bothering to dry them yet, Geralt wet the toothbrush and applied his toothpaste to it. He used mint. Mostly because it was usually cheaper and easier to find, and he didn't much care what flavour he used. Yennefer had tried to talk him into using cinnamon once, like her. He had for about a week before switching back.

He brushed his teeth quickly, spitting the remaining toothpaste in his mouth into the sink before rubbing it away with water and his hand, so that it didn't dry there. He remembered one of his brothers never doing that as a kid. That had driven Geralt mad. It wasn't as disgusting when it was your own spit that had just been in your mouth, but if you left it and let it sit for even a few minutes, cleaning it up became a much more daunting task.

Geralt rinsed off his toothbrush and dried his hands, before bringing brush and paste back to the bedroom. He stuck them back in the black pouch and zipped it, setting that in his duffel bag nestled amongst other pouches and his clothing. He grabbed another pair of socks, stuck his current ones in the bag, and closed that too. 

He rolled on the new socks and rose to his feet, padding back to Jaskier. He saw the bin of their laundry sitting near the door, where they had left it the previous afternoon. His boots were there. Geralt walked to the bin and tugged out his boots, pulling them in before crouching and tying up the laces. They crossed back and forth across the front, holding the tongue down and tightening the boot.

He returned to Jaskier. Once Jaskier had slipped the information into Geralt's phone, he slipped into his own back pocket so it was safe.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier shivered as he looked at the spot where the object had been previously, gosh people had some suck fucking ideas.

Jaskier watched as the man got ready, putting his boots on before coming to him. He smiled and chuckled to himself at Geralt, he was extremely happy that he had gotten him as a bodyguard ever if there were things that still had to... Discuss.

Once Geralt had tried up his shoes and it was all done Jaskier moved to the door, placing a hand on the knob and opening it for the two of them. They were greeted with the scent of raw rain whooshing into the room from last night mixed with a summer breeze.

The sun was shining quite brightly, not a cloud in sight which was nice after having such a rainy night. People were walking around and chattering down on the streets below, his gaze washing over them as he held the door open. He smiled as a kid and their mother walked, the kid looked at Jaskier and waved and what else could Jaskier do but wave back happily at them. He turned and faced inside with a smile to Geralt. "All set to go Darling?" he asked as he used himself as a doorstopper.

Jaskier followed after Geralt after double-checking that the door locked automatically like per usual. He quickly trotted after Geralt, taking Geralts phone out of his back pocket before he opened the door and sat in the car. He didn't want to break it, even if it did have a heavy-duty case on it. Jaskier thought about his phone, he only had a clear case on it at the moment but he did have a bright blue case hidden away somewhere. It was a pity, it would've matched his outfit.

He put on his seat belt and let Geralt reverse and swing onto the main street. He was glad that he was in a location where everything wasn't too far away.

Jaskier smiled fondly and he looked out of the window, lightly humming a new song. God's he had around 3 or 4 just in his head waiting to come out and they all were inspired thanks to his new celestial eyed muse.

A chuckle playing at his lips as he thought to himself, smiling happily plastered on his face.

As they pulled up and into the car park which was far too big for the number of people who worked there, his humming stopped as he felt Geralt twist the keys to turning the car off, his gaze moving from the window looking outside to Geralt.

He undid his seat belt and angled himself to look at Geralt, moving his hand onto the man's arm and trailing down it to his hand.

"Geralt just so you know, she's doing what she can. It's not her that's... Fuckery." he said with a small smile "She probably won't be able to do much. Plus I... Have a history with the main chief officer." He said with a bit of a guilty lopsided grin.

"That man can barely stand having me in the same room as him. So don't expect too much to happen and... Hold your tongue when he starts." He gave a bit of a small smile. It had sad underlining, he really didn't want Geralt to see what was going to happen, but he was here. And he knew Geralt wouldn't leave his side. Jaskier gently squeezed Geralt's hand and leaned over, kissing Geralt's cheekbone with a smile.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt parked the car in the far too large lot and returned his keys to his pocket, cutting the engine. He took in Jaskier's words, acknowledging them. Don't get his hopes up. That message Geralt got loud and clear. He knew Officer Priscilla would be trying her best, based on everything else Jaskier had said and on Geralt's own experience. The part about the chief officer was news, however. That could be a then for the worse. 

If the man was in the room with Priscilla, assuming she was even at the station, then chances were they weren't going to get much in the way of help. He let Jaskier grip his hand, which he squeezed in response, and kiss his cheekbone. Gods the man seemed to thrive on physical touch. Geralt wasn't complaining, he was just unaware of there were boundaries to it. He himself didn't plan on trying to touch Jaskier unless they were alone back at the man's apartment, and even then, he would prefer Jaskier to initiate the contact.

Geralt held his hand out for his phone, the hand that wasn't gripping Jaskier's. Once it was back in his grasp, he freed his hand from the man, patted Jaskier's shoulder, and opened his door. Geralt got out of the car, noticing that the scent of rain was gone from the air. It had been pleasant while it lasted, he reflected. But he had known it wouldn't stick. Most pleasant things didn't, he had discovered during his life so far.

Geralt shut the door and slid his phone into his pocket without his keys. He started towards the front entrance of the building.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier gave Geralt a small smile and passed him his phone, letting Geralt hop out and shut the door before he gave himself a one-liner pep talk, took a breath and opened the door. He hopped out into the fresh air and smiled slightly, he stretched his legs before wincing and stood up, he cleared his throat and walked over to the front of the station, ignoring his limp the best he could.

He looked at the building, it was three stories high and reasonably large although you could tell the roofing wasn't very high for each level. He walked up to the main door and smiled widely, walking in before Geralt did and his breath caught in his throat.

Fuck. Djinn was right there, fuck. He internally panicked a little but brushed it off as he walked forwards.

"Ah, the manwhore finally arrived." A man with black sleeked hair combed back said standing up straight from what he was looking at. He looked up from his desk that he was talking to a blonde-haired lady about something rather heated. He didn't know that women, her eyes were a brown, almost black colour and her skin was tanned. Jaskier smiled with a clenched jaw at the two of them. Jaskier opened his mouth to speak.

"Oh gods, don't bother I don't want to hear what you have to say with your loud whore mouth. Lord knows I don't need your words. Tell me why your here, short version and then fuck off out of my sight you piece of shit." He scowled as he put a hand on his hip.

The man's body was not lean in anyways, if anything it was round and chubby, obviously not one for workouts. He wasn't overly fat but damn, he had a big beer belly for sure. Everyone in the area knew he drank till he passed out most nights. He had the smell of alcohol lingering on his, a whiskey, the cheap pissy stuff from where ever he could get it.

Jaskier looked at the two of them. "Hello to you too. They're back," he said as he folded his arms, mainly to hide the slight shake of his hands. He hated confrontation and especially towards him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt walked into the building a few steps behind Jaskier. He trailed off the man's right shoulder, arms crossed over his chest. He planted his feet firmly on the floor where he was when Jaskier stopped, leaving maybe a stride between them. Enough for Geralt to both close the distance easily and to give Jaskier's space and authority. 

Geralt sized up the other man immediately, eyes narrowing at the words coming out of his mouth. He didn't know Jaskier's sexual history, but he gathered that he was going to be learning part of it very assumed. The blond woman the heavy man had been talking to Geralt paid little mind, though he did take note of where she was standing and if she looked like the type to flee. She certainly looked uncomfortable, especially as the two other men in the room traded words. Geralt listened to the conversation. It wasn't his place to interject, but if Jaskier was threatened or felt like he was, Geralt had no problem stepping in.

He looked at the heavy man carefully. He was about Geralt's size, height-wise and with how broad his shoulders were. But if he been athletic in the past, he wasn't now. He would outweigh the bodyguard, but if it came to a fight Geralt had physical authority and training on his side. He would rather not mess with the law, however. He would, but would rather avoid it. They needed an audience with Priscilla was all.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier shifted his weight only to wince slightly, he legs jolting but he ignored the pain. "We were told to come to see Detective Prisc-"

The fat man rolled his eyes. "You're probably bloody imagining it again. You fuck so many people with that disgusting hole of yours I wouldn't be surprised if you woke up one morning and there were four people trying to fuck you in your sleep." He snarled as he started to move closer towards Jaskier, hands on his hips and a glare that intimidated Jaskier. He thought for a moment, funny how Jaskier can be intimidated by him and not Geralt.

There were a couple of others around the office who were pretending to work, glancing up at the scene from over their computer screens. They were quiet, trying to keep the sound of the keyboards tapping away as they worked which there may have been one and the rest were fake tapping their keys, the sound less dense.

The woman who was originally talking to Djinn shrunk in her seat, sliding back over to her computer as quietly as possible but with the squeaky chair legs it didn't work out so well.

Djinns gaze moved from Jaskier to Geralt. His face reddened and he growled at him. "What, you're also his fuck buddy? You not done turning people against God and making them gay. Fucking each other. I bet you fucked him all the time, his family probably cries at night because of you. You with your stupid clothing and make up, why do you even put it on. It's for girls, are you a girl now? You don't want a cock anymore? " Djinn growled. He moved closer to Jaskier until he was only a couple inches from Jaksiers face, spitting into it. The fat man moved his hand, aiming it towards Jaskiers cheek, to either slap or mockingly caress it he didn't know.

Jaskier stomach twisted into a heavy knot, standing his feet firmly on the ground. His own hands clenched at his arms where they were folded in order to prevent them from obviously shaking. Jaskier moved his head away, not trusting his body to move.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt gritted his teeth and kept his gaze locked on the man in front of Jaskier. Until he caused Geralt's client physical harm, Geralt was prohibited from taking action. There was a small, crazy part of him that wanted to tell the heavy man that yes, he and Jaskier fucked, and it was nothing to be ashamed of. The rest of him soon quelled that idea. No one here would appreciate it, and Geralt didn't look forwards to overstepping and having to find a new job. Three full-time clients in one week were more than Geralt could handle. That was if he could find a third willing to hire him.

A larger part of Geralt wanted to reach out and grip Jaskier's arm or wrist and calm his shaking. He wanted to get him out of this situation before it escalated further. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to be an option. Not if they wanted to see the Detective. Geralt took half a step forwards, still behind Jaskier but now closer to the two. He could reach Jaskier easily, without fully extending his arm.

"Sir, we are trying to get a hold of Detective Priscilla. Is she on the premises?"

_Julian POV_

The man looked at Geralt and laughed. He looked at Jaskier again before slapping his cheek lightly three times with a rather deceitful amount of force. Jaskier's face was slightly reddened on the cheek that the man had "lightly tapped".

Jaskier swallowed as he whimpered quietly from it, his face stung slightly as if it were burning and Jaskier was craving touch from Geralt, something to wipe it up, get the touch of Djinn off of him.

"Wait your devil's asses outside of the building. You taint the air. Mary, go get Detective Priscilla." he ordered as the blonde-haired girl from early nodded and scattered off.

Jaskier nodded a light "Yes sir." coming from his lips but his body was stuck, frozen. His heart rate was increasing, he was starting to zone out again. The panic was rising to him.

Djinn glared at Jaskier as he growled at him, moving back behind the desk that was there earlier.

The memories were flying through Jaskiers head, his dad, Djinn when he walked in and caught him and his son. He shook it out of his head and managed to command his body to move, but apparently it wasn't only his legs.

He walked outside of the door, hastily towards them before he looked around, the garden hedges surround the outline of the building. He bent over as he felt it coming up and vomited, only being a small bit of whatever the hell was left in his stomach, so it was mainly acid because there was barely anything left in there. He folded the inside of his sleeve back, dabbing his mouth with it and then turned it back over and stood up, taking a couple of deep breaths as he finally managed to unpry his hands from being folded in a cross-armed manner. He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing it away before he continued walking à little bit so that they were out of sight from people inside looking out.

The breeze of the summer air helped, it always did. Although he secretly wished that it was raining.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt frowned at Djinn. He could legally restrain the heavier man now, but Jaskier had already given in. Fighting back a growl, Geralt turned on his heel and followed his client. He had his suspicions. The woman Djinn had told to fetch Priscilla, Mary he had called her, might actually so it. Whether Geralt and Jaskier would be informed of the Detective's arrival was another issue. He remained standing as Jaskier bent over and threw up the acid in his stomach. 

Geralt didn't touch him, instead, he keeping guard. When Jaskier straightened and kept walking, Geralt followed. He took the man's sleeve and walked to the hedges along the edge of the property. They were maybe two meters from the side of the building, and were still in sight of the door, if someone stepped outside and looked in their direction. Geralt hesitantly placed a hand on Jaskier's shoulder, uncertain of how alert the man currently was and if he wanted to be touched.

Geralt had never been good at comforting people. He could protect, he could fight, he could guard. He couldn't figure out a person's emotions and put them in context fast enough. He could read people, but not react to it. He hadn't been trained to. So instead he settled for a hand on his client's shoulder and a few whispered words.

"He's wrong. You're not a whore." Geralt may sometimes think of Jaskier as a 'wannabe playboy-rockstar,' but he didn't mean the words. Nor would he voice them. The Chief Officer, Geralt could tell by his badge, didn't know Jaskier. Didn't know how badly he had been tormented and how that torment continued. If he did he might think twice about his words. Might. Geralt wasn't optimistic for some people.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier looked up at Geralt, feeling his hand on his shoulder and gave Geralt a small smile, he had to hold himself back for laughing lightly at his comfort words.

"It's fine Geralt. I know I'm not. I'm sorry you had to see that." he said in a mumbled voice towards the end before he looked up from Geralt's chest and to his eyes. He looked around doing a quick scan. There was a woman walking her dog on the other side of the street and the cars that went past which could barely even see them.

He looked at Geralt with a small lopsided smile before he leaned in and hugged the man. It wasn't tight, his hands were lightly shaking just from the after effect of it all.

He wrapped his hands around the man's waist and buried his head into his neck. He was going to keep it short and sweet but he needed comfort for now. He inhaled lightly, smelling Geralt's scent and chuckled lightly as he nuzzles him lightly. "We are definitely bathing you when we get home," he said with a light chuckle before pulling away, his hands lingering on his waist slightly before they dropped back to his sides.

He waited for Priscilla to come out, the woman at the desk ran off to notify her so she shouldn't be too far away.

Jaskier let out a light sigh, covering his eyes a little with his wrist as he looked up at the sky and felt his stomach rumble. He hadn't even had water today. He forgot that with not eating also comes drinking a stupid amount of water. He sighed, looks like he might have to do this live while after eating lunch after all. He didn't mind it, it's just he hates if he gets hiccups and fasting for the day just helps rid of the probability of it happening.

"Changed my mind. Chinese noodles?" he asked Geralt, keeping it short and sweet with a small smile.


	13. plum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: alcholism (mentioned), death (mentioned), homophobia

_Geralt POV_

It wasn't fine. Geralt could see that. He kept his own back towards the building and the door as Jaskier wrapped his arms around him. Geralt lifted his own to hold the man, not against Geralt but just to hold him. His went around the middle of Jaskier's back.

He could feel had badly Jaskier was still shaking. He got the feeling it was going to get worse. If Priscilla met them outside, maybe not, but if the pair had to return inside, well Geralt doubted Djinn would have found a sudden love for Jaskier in the span of the time they spent waiting by the hedge.

"I know," he muttered. He knew he smelled like day-old sweat and hadn't changed his clothes since the night before. Knew that Jaskier was going to keep insisting he bathes until Geralt finally did. He suspected the man was using 'we' on purpose, though perhaps he wasn't aware of it. Geralt could use an extra a set of hands, particularly with his hair, but the bathroom was cramped and he was perfectly able to get himself clean alone.

Though... Jaskier had used home. Had called the apartment 'home.' That made sense, Jaskier lived there had had probably been calling it that for a long time. Plus he had said he wanted Geralt to feel at home. It just felt, intimate wasn't quite the word, personal, maybe. Like Jaskier was letting Geralt into more than just his home.

Geralt spared the sky a glance as well, then twisted to look over his shoulder. He didn't let go of Jaskier in the process. Chinese noodles sounded wonderful, especially considering neither of them had eaten yet, and Jaskier hadn't all of the previous day. Geralt didn't count most of a glass of wine as food. "Alright," he agreed gently, tone saying he was smiling fondly despite Geralt's face remaining still.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he heard Geralt agree and couldn't help but let out a light chuckle, he noticed how Geralt wasn't one for public touches and such, but Jaskier felt he had to right now. He had to be selfish and take those touches from him.

Jaskier raised his hand and moved it back to Geralt's abdomen, lightly trailing his fingers along it. He wanted to lean in, nuzzle the man, kiss him, leave little bite marks over his body and smirk when he saw them. Not in a possessive way but for the memories they would bring back. The fond memories of the two of them.

Geralt, even though it was day 2, he was a part of Jaskiers heart now. He let him in and when he goes, Jaskier will be sad. He will be very sad but, Geralt had a girlfriend. A life set up. Jaskier couldn't impose on it any more than the month of the two of them together.

"I love your eyes. And your smile." Jaskier suddenly blurted out as he looked into Geralt's eyes, refraining himself from tucking imaginary strands behind his ear but he allowed his fingers to lightly play át those cheese graters.

Suddenly the girl from earlier walked out with a bit of paper in her hand. She lightly walked, her heels clicking on the ground as she held out papers to Jaskier.

"Oh, Mary was it? Thank you." Jaskier said as he took the papers, it was a report for him to fill out. She gave him a nod. "Priscilla will call you. She'll get to you as soon as possible." Jaskier nodded before thanking her again as she scuttered off and Jaskier looked to Geralt.

"Well, not the best but it's a start. Means they might do something," he said with a hopeful smile although the doubt was clear in his eyes.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt kept his hands loosely on Jaskier's back, listening for an approach from behind as the man ran his fingers over Geralt. Jaskier didn't meet his eyes as he spoke suddenly. Geralt was watching him, those bright blue ones that had the cracks hidden behind them. Geralt rarely smiled. It was a trait he'd learned since his youth, both through his training and his experiences.

Someone will always fail you, no matter how much you think they shouldn't. He'd stopped smiling so much, had stopped being a naive young boy once he learned. He knew Jaskier had seen him smile, but they were nothing impressive or admirable. They were little more than him baring his teeth, or else they were sardonic. Jaskier was confusing at the best of times.

He heard footsteps behind them and turned his torso enough to see who they belonged to. He didn't think they were heavy enough for Djinn, and it sounded like heels. He was correct. Mary, he thought her name was, held out the papers for Jaskier then explained and walked away. Geralt looked down curiously at the forms, turning back to fully face Jaskier.

"Hm," he said in agreement. He and Jaskier needed to talk. Specifically, about what the man had done, that could easily get him in trouble on a day to day basis. For example, sleeping with a religious man's son when they had to see said man to accomplish something else. Perhaps Geralt's phrase, 'wannabe playboy-rockstar' wasn't as far off as he'd started to think.

Geralt gently detached himself from Jaskier. They were in a public setting. Jaskier was calmer now. They didn't need to be touching. He took half a step back and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier quickly glanced through the papers, making sure everything was in order as he looked at Geralt with a small smile, hearing that he had agreed and moved back from him. Jaskier understood why though, it made sense seeming they were in public and Jaksier's hands were no longer shaking. He zoned out for a minute staring at the papers before closing his eyes and letting a small sigh escape, there were at least 15 pages.

He opened them again quickly before looking up to Geralt and grinned "So. Have there or take out? Remember I have a live stream tonight so I probably won't eat too much. It's breaking my usual code as it is that I'm eating but I forgot to drink wat- you know what doesn't really matter. Let's just go get food." he said with a light chuckle as he relaxed slightly with his shoulders going down.

"I'll uh, explain-" he said, gesturing his gaze towards the police station, "- when we are in the car," he said with a sigh. Oh gods, time to tell Geralt he was the gayest gay that there was.

To be fair with the kisses and touching, it seemed like Geralt already swung both ways as it was. Maybe he wouldn't judge him as harshly. He says that because he'd rather be prepared for a hurtful reaction than an understanding one.

Jaskier moved towards the car and stood to wait for Geralt to unlock it. Piecing together the bits and pieces in his mind so he could get his confession over and done with.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt watched as Jaskier stared at the papers and sighed. He couldn't count them, but there were many. He had to wonder how soon Priscilla expected the call.

"Take-out," he answered. Geralt would prefer to avoid civilians when possible. After Djinn's reaction, and Jaskier's, perhaps it was safest to stick with the apartment. Geralt nodded at Jaskier's fumbling to get them moving towards the car. He began walking back towards it, going ahead of Jaskier but to the side, keeping himself between his client and the door to the station.

When they reached the car, Geralt unlocked it and tugged open his door. His mind was going as he climbed in, shutting it after him. What did Jaskier have to explain? His history with Djinn? That Geralt had pieced together. Something about Mary or Priscilla? Geralt doubted it, it had been Djinn who was the main event.

He fastened his seatbelt and got the engine going. Jaskier could explain while they drove. Geralt would rather not stay parked outside the building much longer. He pulled out of his parking space and turned the car, heading for the main road. There was a decent Chinese restaurant there that had take-out if Jaskier was still interested.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier opened the door, sitting in the car before he closed it and put on his seat belt so Geralt knew it was okay to talk and drive.

"They uh, they say he shows his grief that way. It's one of the reasons he hasn't been fired; they have pity for him. His son was my lover. It took time, but Djinn accepted it and actually welcomed me over time. His father, Djinn, walked in on us kissing. That's how he found out. Anyways, he - my lover, that is - decided to kill himself if the end. Said he didn't want to be gay but he was and he was sick of the cruel judgement here. Djinn had no one to turn to. His wife left, moved out of town. She couldn't bear to stay, for more than one reason. She didn't understand at all and hated my guts compared to Djinn. She told him every time I was there, when would I find a woman? The same to him. So it was messy and Djinn became an alcoholic and hates my guts. Happened many years ago though. My first friend when I first came here. Which is how I knew him." Jaskier explained relatively fast as he made a couple of hand gestures.

"It's a shame he passed, I was his boyfriend, yes but it wasn't raw love. It wasn't what some might say is true love. We were together but we weren't serious. We were serious friends though. Good friends." Jaskier explained as he smiled up at Geralt. It hurt that he was gone and it's probably one of the reasons he allows Djinn to be such an ass to him.

He pulled down the flap at the top of the cars and checked his face in the mirror, the redness had faded and Jaskier smiled, he smiled every time that he saw himself wearing Lipstick. It brightened his mood. Let him remind himself he was free. He pouted his lips a little at it in a kissy motion before folding it back up onto the roof.

"Hm and I'll have noodles. Whichever type I don't mind. Get something different to what you're having, that way I can steal some of your food with an actual reason other than wanting to-" he cut himself off and cleared his throat. "Just don't get the same."

_Geralt POV_

Geralt kept his eyes on the road as they drove, but he was listening. That explained Djinn's anger, and why Jaskier kept his mouth shut and took it. He wondered if that was the only situation like this Jaskier had gotten himself into. He doubted it, though now he was beginning to think there couldn't be many more. That had been a serious friendship, and those took years to grow. Jaskier was younger than Geralt, the bodyguard thought. A few lighter entanglements were still possible.

He didn't quite know what to say, so instead, he looked at Jaskier when the man smiled up at him. Geralt didn't smile in return, but he kept his face open and didn't frown.

As Geralt pulled into the restaurant's lot, he saw there was a drive-thru area. That could make this a lot simpler. Less interaction with people, and hopefully less chance of another incident, of any kind. He pulled into that lane. He'd get something different from Jaskier, though he suspected that even if he didn't, Jaskier would try to steal his food anyways.

Geralt pulled up to the speaker. Jaskier had said to just get something different, and noodles, for him. Geralt knew roughly two dishes with noodles, so he ordered those. He didn't have a plan in mind for who would eat which, he himself didn't particularly mind.

He drove up part of the way to the window, waiting as another car paid. Geralt used that time to take out his wallet and get the cash ready. When they reached the window, he paid and took his change and receipt. At the next, they waited a few minutes, then the glass slid open and the employee there passed down a plastic bag wrapped around two bowls with lids.

Geralt took it, feeling the heat radiating through the thin plastic. He set it in the space between him and Jaskier, careful not to hit or cover any controls for the car. He nodded his thanks to the woman working, mindlessly repeating her "have a good day!" He started driving again, one hand steadying their meal as he did so.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier waited for the order to come through the window and nearly laughed when he saw Geralt put it next to him and hold it. Obviously the man was used to driving alone or without supportive people in the car.

He lightly swatted Geralts hand and picked it up, holding it on his lap as he ignored the light stinging of the heat seeping through the bag and his trousers.

He chuckled lightly as he held it and looked out the window as he started to hum. This time it was odd for Jaksier, more of a swing kind of song, a sexy swing as well by the tone that Jaskier was giving into as he hummed away, getting so into it that he lightly swayed in his seat, a grin on his face as he couldn't help but let out a couple laughs and sung a couple of lines under his breath.

_"The wine it tingled at our lips_

_It burned on the cut of my inner lip_

_Yet you kissed me anyways_

_Let's blame it on the wine_

_Oh darling it's just fine_

_Let's blame it on the wine_

_Even if we only had a sip_

_Let's blame it on the wine."_

He sang under his breath, quiet trying to make sure no one around could hear him as he made up some lyrics to the tune and slightly laughed at himself.

He smiled to himself even though his cheeks were slightly tinted pink, he continues to amuse himself but making up a couple more lyrics, allowing the gentle roughness of his voice to come out, a voice he didn't use very often. He usually prefered the slow melodic type of music but those words or they could not be sung slowly to a lute picking song.

Jaskier raised his eyebrow as he turned to Geralt, continuing to hum quietly before laughing under his breath and shining his head. Oh he had no idea how good of a song Jaksier is going to make from this.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt let Jaskier swat away his hand, and returned it to his lap as he drove one-handed. The man was humming to himself and singing under his breath, but Geralt didn't quite catch the words. All he could catch was the tune. It was catchy, this one. Not that the one Jaskier had sung the previous night hadn't been, in its own way. But this one was more upbeat. Jaskier turning to him and laughing was a bit odd, but Geralt didn't know what was going on in the man's head. Perhaps it wasn't.

Geralt was nearly halfway back to the apartment complex by now. There were a few more clouds in the sky, but to Geralt's irrational disappointment it didn't look like there would be more rain.

Honestly. The weather wasn't in his control, he shouldn't be getting so emotional about it. It was just the weather. The only things it affected were his clients and how he drove. Geralt went about the speed limit in sunny weather, slower the worse the precipitation got. Nothing major, certainly not anything he should be over-thinking. Nearly rolling his eyes at himself, Geralt turned into the parking garage for Jaskier's apartment.

He parked the car and took back his keys, looking to Jaskier. Geralt could carry things if the man wanted. He didn't much mind. He got out, shutting the door behind him. His phone buzzed once against his leg, but he ignored it. Whoever it was, it could wait.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier picked up the bag of food as he licked his lips with a hum at the fact he forgot his lipstick tasted like plums. He walked to the door of the apartment with his key in hand as he licked his lips again and pondered. He was a vegetarian, he said he liked almost anything.

"What rating would you give a black dorris plum Geralt? Out of ten?" he asked randomly as he thought to himself about it.

He licked his lips again just to make sure it did taste like it and it did, only the sourness wasn't as intense as the fruit would be in real life.

Once they reached the door to the apartment he pulled out his key, unlocking the door with a light hum of the catchy tune and shook his head laughing. Gods, Geralt would kill him if he ever released that song but then again. It would be very much so worth it. He turned the knob and opened the door, pushing himself against it as he let Geralt walk in first. He allowed him to scan the area as he always did.

He waited patiently by the door with a soft hum as he realizes Geralt really didn't talk much in public. He doesn't know why but he only just realize that but honestly who does say a lot in public? But then again half of Geralt's vocabulary consisted of 'hm' in public. Which honestly was kind of cute.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt frowned curiously at Jaskier at the question. He didn't answer it. He wasn't sure what he answer would be anyways. A plum was a plum, to him. Jaskier was still humming, but Geralt paid it little mind. The man wrote songs. Of course he was humming. Geralt would be interested to hear this new one in full, but wouldn't push unless Jaskier offered.

He stepped into the room. The lights were off, but there was enough light coming in from the window. It was nearly noon, and cloudless, so of course there was. Geralt carefully scanned the room. Nothing out of place. No signs of anyone else entering.

The laundry bin was still by the door, and the rug was disturbed by their feet in the same way. Geralt prowled forwards, checking the studio then the hallway. Each room he checked proved to have nothing and no one to worry about or notice. He narrowed his eyes cautiously, but retreated back to Jaskier. The man was still standing there, humming to himself.

"Clear," the bodyguard said, stating inside the apartment. He locked it behind them once Jaskier was inside. He had left the bag with the box rolled up and tucked under where he had sat in Yennefer's car. It was out of sight but safe, and when they got a meeting with Priscilla it would be available. But more importantly right now, it was out of the apartment and wouldn't be tormenting Jaskier. Geralt leaned against the counter.

_Julian POV_

Once Jaskier saw that Geralt had the all-clear and was leaning up against the counter. He moved to the couch pulling the footrest closer to the couch area and placed the bag down on it. He looked at them before piping up to Geralt.

"Seeming they're a clutz, they forgot our chopsticks. I'm offended," he announced rather overdramatic and waved his hand up in the air at Geralt. "Darling, could you get two pairs of chopsticks out of the drawer, please? The one with the black and white pattern can be yours, I'll have the other please." It was a geometric pattern of white over the black Chopsticks, the other pair next to it was a soft baby blue with deep blue patterning, the same concept to it.

Jaskier took the two bowls of noodles out of the bag, sniffing it as he smelt the flavours of then and groaned lightly. Oh, gods, this was going to be delicious. Only then did he have the thought.

"Ah, Geralt? Did you want me to like, pay you back or just pay next time we are in town? I probably should've offered to pay for this seeming you use your petrol all the time driving us around." His cheeks reddened slightly from the realisation of how rude he had just been. If he were in London, he would've got a beating and a half for allowing that to happen.

There was no point in putting the food on the counter if they were going to move to the couch anyways. Jaskier left the food out on the footstool before groaning loudly, slightly pained.

He looked at his foot. Should he take his shoe off? He could feel that it wasn't right fully. If it didn't look right he didn't want to stop Geralt from eating and having a good time, especially with the embarrassment he just caused.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt stood up fully and moved to the drawer Jaskier had pointed out. He slid it open and took out the two pairs of chopsticks. Upon seeing them, he understood why Jaskier had told him to take the black and white. They seemed to match the two of them, him and Jaskier. Geralt took them out and went over to Jaskier.

He looked down to Jaskier's foot as the man did, thinking about what he had asked. Jaskier seemed embarrassed. Geralt didn't quite see why. He understood the initial reason for embarrassment, yes, but he was also taking into account the fact that Jaskier was paying him for his services as a bodyguard. Driving expenses were covered by the Corps, Geralt wasn't worried about those. Besides, it came with the job.

"You can cover it next time," he offered. It wasn't necessary, but if it made his client feel better, Geralt could do it. He sat down on the couch and bent over to reach the laces on his boots. Part of the way through untying them, he saw just how awkwardly Jaskier was standing.

"You're not doing the gash any favours. Take your shoe off." Letting the cut breathe would make the healing process easier, plus this was Jaskier's own home. He was allowed to take off his shoes. Geralt finished unlacing his own and slid them off, getting up to bring them to the door. He set them down on the opposite side of it than the laundry bin, then went to the kitchen sink.

He washed his hands quickly and thoroughly, taking the extra time to clean the worst of the grime out from under his fingernails. He kept them short, but dirt still got caught by and under the edges. That finished, Geralt turned off the water and shook his hands off, before drying them the rest of the way in a dishtowel hanging on the counter. He went back over to the living room part of the room and resumed his seat.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier bit his bottom lip and nodded, accepting the fact that he could pay next time. London had strange rules on what was rude or not, seemed half the things he'd do were rude but in America, some things would be rude that aren't over there. Was something he wasn't quite used to yet.

Sure, he left his past behind but occasionally, for example when he sings, if he sings gently he sounded British and if he sung loud or with passion he sounded American.

He bent down taking his shoes off of his good foot first, the bright pink sock on the foot revealed. He moved to his beat-up foot and unzipped the shoe instead of just sliding it off and he took it out, luckily there was bleeding but it was only on the bottom through his other neon coloured sock except this one was orange, well the bottom was now red. It wasn't heavily out like bleeding everywhere but it was definitely there. It could wait until after.

He stood up, hopping along to the door and placing his shoes next to Geralt's as he glanced at the suit and other clothing in the basket. He should really get onto ironing those at some point so they could put the dirty washing in the basket. Guess he just forgot about it as he wasn't used to it being in his routine.

He shook his head and walked over to the sink, giving a quick but thorough wash of his hands, he didn't want to have germs on them. He shuddered slightly as he remembered the germs that were in his apartment beforehand-no. He refused to think of that now.

He brushed it off the best he could before hopping to the couch, sitting a little ways from Geralt, mainly because when he ate he preferred the space in case he were to drop something and so forth.

He picked up one of the cases of noodles and smelt it, judging by the colour and look of it, it definitely was based on black bean. He grinned as he picked up his chopsticks and took a bit of the noodle and ate it. He let out a tiny sigh at the taste, damn it was actually really good.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt took the other bowl, cracking off the plastic cover. This one smelled less strongly than the other one. From what he could smell, it had a more earthy tone. Almost nutty. Upon opening it, he saw he was correct. Buried amongst the fried noodles, tofu, and other vegetables were cashews.

Geralt picked up his chopsticks, holding the bottom of the bowl with the other. He took a bite, looping the noodles around the chopsticks before bringing them to his mouth.

As he ate, he let his thoughts wander. Jaskier was doing his live tonight, and had told Geralt they were washing the bodyguard's hair. Geralt didn't know how late at night the man usually did lives, nor what he was singing. The one song Jaskier had sung the night before, the one about not knowing which direction you were going, would likely make an appearance. But the more Geralt thought on it, the more he grew curious.

How long were these lives? Did Jaskier plan to do only the one song? And if not, what else would he be singing? Geralt knew he would only have to wait for a short while silently to get the answers, but that didn't stop the wondering.

He looked out sideways to where Jaskier was sitting near him. He knew so little about the man, in some ways, and so much in others. It was an odd combination. A painfully familiar one, but a sad one all the same.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier ate away at his food bit by bit before glancing over and saw Geralt looking at him and let out a chuckle before scootching his butt closer to Geralt, surprisingly close for him due to the fact he hates eating next to people but, he was about to do something so.

"My live í will probably go on in... 4 hours," he said as he spared a glance at the clock before smiling at him. "If you want, you could come on. Or if not that's fine. You can chill in the room. If you wanna be mentioned if you are in the room or not or completely left out that is fine. Ah, also I'll put the veggie soup away, what was left of it into a bowl to go into the kitchen for you. And also I could iron your suit for you if you want, and with the bath feel free to use the oils. If you don't then I'll put some in when I come in. If I can't enjoy the luxury of salts at the moment then you might as well. So if we could do that before I go on it would be good. Baths, well up to you how long you wanna be in there but we have a hot water cylinder so we do run out of hot water at some point." he explained in between bites of his own food and waving his chopsticks as a gesture instead before he bit his lip.

Jaskier picked up some of his own noodles, twirling them so there were no awkward bits dangling and held it up to Geralt. " Here, try some. If you don't like it, I always have a plum to wash the flavour out." he gave a chuckle to himself. Geralt probably had no idea of his reasoning for plums lately, the scent of his lips wasn't very noticeable especially with all the food open around.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt let Jaskier shift closer to him, not moving any further away. There was still maybe two hand widths between them. Geralt had larger hands, so maybe one of each of their hands. He took another few bites as Jaskier talked. Four hours until the live. It was both later and earlier than what Geralt had expected. Made him wonder who and where Jaskier's main audience was.

"You don't have to iron anything." Geralt had been taking care of his own clothes this long, Jaskier really didn't need to. He seemed to prefer Geralt in more casual clothes, at least so far in the apartment, so the suits might be seeing less use than Geralt had intended. Not that he minded. The things were a pain. He was far more comfortable in body armour and what he was wearing now. He preferred to live on the simpler side of the spectrum.

Geralt knew he would be turning down Jaskier's offer to use the oils or bath salts. It wasn't him, and weren't his, no matter what Jaskier might be offering. That brought back the memory of the incident with the razors and Geralt's stomach curled in on itself out of shame. He felt himself lose his appetite. But he hadn't eaten since the night before and the food was good, so he kept eating, though now it was more out of reflex than hunger.

Then he caught onto the last bit of that statement. Jaskier intended for Geralt to bathe first, and soon. With Jaskier assisting, if not sharing. He assumed it was assisting, based on their earlier conversations about Geralt's hair.

He muttered a "hm" as Jaskier wrapped noodles around his chopsticks and held them up for Geralt. A lesser man might have blushed. Geralt leaned in enough to take them in his mouth. This could easily be platonic, two not-quite-friends sharing dinner.

Yennefer would kill him for it either way. And Jaskier's continued statements about plums, from wondering if Geralt liked them to tell him he had one now, remained confusing. Was the man waiting for Geralt to notice something? If that was the case, then clearly Geralt so far hadn't.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier grinned, quite proud of himself when he let Jaksier feed him some food. He didn't know why but he had a feeling Geralt wouldn't just let anyone feed him like that.

He wasn't expecting for Geralt to catch onto his lipstick tasting like plum, it was expensive and not a very common thing for lipsticks to have. He smiled happily as he reached his chopsticks down and took a little bit of Geralts food, popping it in his mouth with a smile. He chewed it, swallowed before laughing.

"I can't tell which one is better. I love overly strong flavours though so I like this one but that one had so many elements that melt together. Oh right! The veggies." the veggies in the noodles reminded him of the soup on the stovetop that still had its lid on. He set his noodles down onto the stool, there was barely any left but he often did this, starting something then forgot about it so he went from one thing to the other.

He stood and hobbled over to the kitchen, pulling out a couple of containers and couldn't help but properly sing what he was singing in the car, not at his full ability but it half-hearted and there was a smugness behind it.

_"The wine it tingled at our lips_

_It burned on the cut of my inner lip_

_Yet you kissed me anyways_

_Let's blame it on the wine"_

He started to sing away, managing to put the soup in the containers as he rinsed the label and put water in the pot with some bubbles.

_"Oh darling it's just fine_

_Let's blame it on the wine_

_Even if we only had a sip_

_Let's blame it on the wine"_

He gently swayed his hips as he sang along busy playing with different tones and notes as he did a little boogie as he grabbed the scrubber and started to clean the pot happily.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt retreated after he pulled the noodles off Jaskier's chopsticks with his mouth. There was the faintest, the absolute faintest, hint of plum from the chopsticks themselves hidden amongst the stronger flavours of the dish. It was faint enough he could and did brush it aside as imagined. He had been thinking about Jaskier's continual mentioning of plums, after all.

Geralt didn't protest as Jaskier promptly stole Geralt's food, not waiting for the bodyguard to offer. It was amusing, really, to see how all the thoughts ran through Jaskier's head and pierced themselves together out loud. Geralt kept his mouth shut more often than not. It was quite the comparison. He resumed his methodical eating as Jaskier thought of something, in this case, the leftover vegetable soup, and hopped up.

Geralt finished his own meal as the man began transferring the soup into a container and set the pot in the sink. Geralt watched him out of the corner of his eye, but paid little attention. Most of him was focused on checking the door every few minutes. It was an old habit, one he had yet to find the willpower and want to break. It made some clients think of him as paranoid. Perhaps he was.

It was only when Jaskier started singing, the SMUGLY, that bastard, that Geralt looked up and to him. The tune was familiar. If memory serves him correctly, it was the one from the car. He took in the lyrics, felt his chest contract with dread and the smallest bit of pride.

The man had written a song about when they had kissed. At least, that was how Geralt took it. But to sing it aloud, tonight of all nights? It almost seemed as if it was a rehearsal. Geralt flicked his eyes towards the door, then took the final bite of noodles and set his bowl beside Jaskier's.

"Interesting song," he remarked dryly. Interesting dance as well, especially considering the fact that Jaskier had a foot injury.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled as he looked up over his shoulder and towards Geralt with a smirk plastered right on his face. "Really? Hm, I thought so too," he said, not bothering to hide the laugh at the end of his sentence.

He shifted his weight back to both of his feet and gritted his teeth. Okay, Jask, dancing and having a dead foot is a not a good combination. He chuckled lightly as he walked to the fridge and opened it up, moving some stuff around and placing it into the fridge as he continued to sing away.

_"From the moment my eyes laid of you_

_I felt what was hidden there_

_The kindest gentleman I've ever known_

_Oh darling, take me home"_

He sang away as he closed the door and walked behind Geralt, lightly placing his hand on his shoulder before sliding it cheekily down to his chest, biting his bottom lip before using his other hand to gently slide down the side of Geralt's face to his jaw, running along it and once he swallowed, gently put some pressure on his chin for him to look up towards Jaskier.

Jaskier's eyes were popping out due to his eyeshadow, the raw pale blue enhanced as he looked down at Geralt, a small smirk still playing on his lips as he set his hand that travelled down Geralt's chest to lightly rest overtop of his heartbeat, palm pushing into it ever so lightly. He knew he was being cheeky. But he felt playful.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt watched for a moment as Jaskier moved things around, then looked back to his lap. He remembered the text notification he had gotten earlier. Perhaps he should check that. Might be one of his brothers. Might be Ciri. Might be Yennefer. It was not work, work didn't text. They usually e-mailed, or if it was dire, called. Such was the case with his sudden reassignment. It struck him that he has hardly thought of Renfri that day.

Another curl of guilt twisted through him. What was he doing here, sitting here with Jaskier, when Renfri was out there, still fighting for her life? He wanted to contact her, but she had, according to Yennefer, decided to cut him off. But why? Was it simply because now she was an ex-client of his? Or was there more?

His thoughts were abruptly slowed and then stopped as Jaksier approached him from behind. Geralt would have turned, except the man snakes a hand down his shoulder and over his chest. He felt the other slide down to his throat, then tip his head back. Geralt found himself in a rather vulnerable position, staring up at Jaskier, who stood behind him.

He gazed into brilliant blue eyes, eyed that were artfully illuminated by make-up. The melody of Jaskier's song was still resonating in Geralt's head as the man rested a hand over his heartbeat. His oddly slow heartbeat, caused by artificial mutations. Yet Jaskier seemed to like it, judging by how often he felt it. Or the man at least tolerated it.

Geralt slowly reached a hand up to grip the one Jaskier held over his heart. With his other hand, he reached up and rested it on the forearm of the arm gripping his chin.

"Jaskier," he murmured, mouth dry. There was no inflection, just a neutral tone.


	14. pill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: panic attack, injury, cheating
> 
> Sorry about the delay.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier smiled at Geralt as he felt his own pulse rushing faster than before. He grinned as he looked at Geralt, feeling how his large hand had wrapped around his.

He smiled, seeing how Geralt went from tense and thinking to nearly blank. It made him grin, triumphant. He slowly lowered his lips to Geralt's forehead, kissing over his face gently before hovering his lips over Geralt's, closing his eyes as his hand slipped to Geralt's now exposed neck, sliding his hand down it gently before placing his hand in a way that was like he would choke him but kept it barely touching him, running up and down his neck, gently over his Adam's apple as he let out a soft hum.

He bent his head further down and kissed Geralt, the taste of the plum stronger than the noodles but the noodles taste was there as well, just overpowered. He kept it still, only pressing his lips against the man's, his lips slightly parted as he groaned, he had lifted his sore foot off the ground, mainly leaning on Geralt so that he was comfortable, having a feeling they were going to stay like this for a little while.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt kept his eyes opened and fixed on Jaskier's, only to find himself shutting them most of the way as the man kissed down his face. He relaxed his grip on Jaskier's forearm as the man moved a hand to his throat. Geralt could feel how light the touches were, but he still let the fingers of his own hand stay over Jaskier's wrist.

It was a silent warning and a reminder. Chances were, Geralt could overpower his client if he felt significantly threatened. He didn't know all of Jaskier's tricks, that was true, but the man didn't know all of his, either. Geralt had no wish to fight his way out of this situation. But the touch on Jaskier's wrist was a reminder for them both.

Geralt had to hesitate as Jaskier hovered his lips above the bodyguard's. This was his client. This was a breach of conduct. But it had happened before and he had no doubt it would continue happening. If Geralt really wanted an out he could find or make one. So instead, he let Jaskier kiss him.

Plums. Plums, against the background of the noodles they had eaten. The bastard. Was that what he had been waiting for Geralt to notice? His lipstick? Yennefer was going to kill him, Geralt knew she was.

That didn't stop him from gently kissing Jaskier back and letting the man lean on him enough to keep his foot off the ground. Geralt broke the kiss and opened his eyes. Their faces were hardly apart, but he still glared at the man.

"There better not be a song about this," he growled. He wasn't actually all that mad, Jaskier's mood was infectious. It wasn't Geralt's place to tell off a client, but he was already stretching the rules and breaking them in other places. If he had concluded correctly that the 'blame it on the wine' song was about a kiss, then he didn't particularly want to know if Jaskier had written others like it.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier lightly chuckled at Geralt when he felt his lips be pushed against, the gentle kiss moving happily together until he felt Geralt slightly pull back so he lifted his head and looked down at Geralt with a raised eyebrow. As Geralt spoke, Jaskier couldn't help but let out a proper laugh at the man's accusation towards him. He grinned as he let a small reply escape him.

"I can make no promises, but I promise that that song, if it does come to light, will be kept as mine and my own," he said with a chuckle.

His lips moved back down to meet with Geralt's, his lips properly parted this time as he grinned at Geralt against his lips and moved his lips against his instead of just pressing into them, allowing the taste of plum to come into his own mouth as well as Geralt's. Jaskier melted slightly into Geralt with a hum escaping out of his throat. He couldn't help but allow himself to gently run his hand down Geralt's throat and to his abdomen with a light hum, fingertips trailing on his abdomens, following every muscle slowly.

Jaskier's breath fastened as he pressed his hand into Geralt's chest, He daringly slipped his tongue over Geralt's upper lip while moving his hand off of Geralt's chest, turning his hand and holding it firmly, intertwining their fingers as he let a small noise out, not quite a whine and not quite a moan, but somewhere in between.

Dammit Jaskier, this is your bodyguard, not a casual hook up. Although he never had had a one night stand or hook up or whatever the fuck people wanted to refer to it as. His mind flashed to the fact Geralt had talked about his girlfriend before.

But, it was just platonic, right? They were just, keeping each other company maybe? Keeping each other feeling loved? He didn't know, he couldn't tell. He knew he was lying to himself when he said that he didn't feel attraction towards the man, but that's because he lived with him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt relaxed slightly at Jaskier's promise that such a song would be kept private, letting his eyes slide closed again. He could work with as much. He couldn't stop Jaskier from composing, so a promise not to release any songs based off of this might be the best he could get.

Geralt let Jaskier kiss him again. This time he could taste the plum on the man's lips. Regardless of whether it had been due to his silent warning/reminder or due to Jaskier's curiosity and playfulness, Geralt was relieved when the man's fingers released their gentle grip on his throat.

Geralt let his own hand reach back to grip the back of the couch instead. It torqued his shoulder oddly, pushing him up onto the other one some instead, but he kept his hand there. He couldn't reach Jaskier without fully turning around, and he was more comfortable with his hand doing more than lying by his side.

When he felt Jaskier's tongue slide against his upper lip, something in Geralt's blood ran cold, both from dread and a twisted form of recognition. He kept their fingers entwined, but loosely. Using his other hand, the one gripping the couch, Geralt gently pressed two fingers to the man's forehead and pushed him away, the equivalent of pushing on his chest had they been positioned differently.

Geralt didn't let the quiet "I'm sorry" escape his lips, even as it begged to be released. Instead, he slowly shook his head, knowing there would be traces of his sadness in his eyes. It was too far. Just too far. Platonic, chaste kissing was one thing.

This was another, even though only just. It crossed too many lines. He had a girlfriend and a daughter and this was a client. He shouldn't even be doing this in the first place. He shouldn't even be here. Geralt was still needed elsewhere.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier hummed as he felt Geralt kiss him back, he felt his heart rate flutter slightly. As soon as he felt Geralt stop and push his head back lightly Jaskiers eyes snapped open and looked to him, his face reddening in embarrassment.

"Shit, sorry." He quickly muttered out to him, his hands instantly coming off of Geralt's body, trying everything he could to get off of him. He slipped his hand out of Geralt's before he could do anything. He pushed himself up, nearly falling back until he put his leg back to balance and stop him, yelping in pain as he felt the skin under his foot pull harshly. He couldn't tell if it was bleeding or not, but it was bound to soon. He stood, not wanting to move to hurt his foot any further. He averted his gaze from Geralt as he cleared his throat.

"That was my fault, my apologies." He managed to get out as a squeak, forcing his voice not to crack as he took a deep breath and forced himself to walk, hissing as he didn't notice the small blood pattern left under his foot and where it was. He quickly walked to his lute, limping quite heavily from the pain as he grabbed his lute from resting on the footrest. The instrument had been laid down after they moved the footrest earlier.

He picked up the lute and walked past Geralt, not looking at him as he pointed to the studio. "I'll uh, I'll be in there unless you still wanted help with your bath?" He questioned lightly, more in a statement and flatter voice, knowing that he probably wouldn't be Jaskier near him after what just happened.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt looked away and lowered his head back to its usual position. Dammit. He had been uncomfortable was all, he hadn't meant to make things awkward. He hears Jaskier stumbling and almost turned to try and catch him. But he knew it would be pointless and difficult if he could steady the man at all.

"Apology accepted," he said quietly as he watched Jaskier struggle back to his lute. There was blood left on the floor with every other step. Geralt felt himself drown at the sight. He still felt rather out of it.

When Jaskier offered to leave and let him wash alone, Geralt had to hesitate. It was what he had planned on doing anyway, letting Jaskier rehearse or livestream while he took care of himself. But Jaskier looked so torn and helpless and hurt that Geralt hesitated.

"You can help. If you want." He got to his feet, standing awkwardly before Jaskier.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier gaze shifted from the ground up to Geralt's eyes, there was a pain in them. Not because of Geralt, but because of the fact he allowed himself to make Geralt act so carelessly. It was his fault, he was doing it all to himself. A flash of relief came over his face slightly as he found a small smile coming onto his face.

"You really don't mind?" he asked quietly, keeping his gaze locked with Geralt's for as long as Geralt would look to him. Even if he looked away, his gaze would still be on him.

Jaskier went to walk to put the lute away into the other room but growled as soon as he felt the sticky substance and looked at the carpet with a sigh "Fuck, that's going to stain," was the first thing that came out of his mouth when he saw the blood before looking to his foot.

"Oh shit," he said as if he suddenly realized it was his blood and from his foot. "Um, Geralt? Could we perhaps fix my foot up, I don't know what to do to make it stop bleeding? And then we can give you a bath." he said with a smile, a bit hopeful and a little bit happy that Geralt didn't yell at him to fuck off, which honestly he was expecting which is why he tried to rush out of the room before he heard the words.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt gave Jaskier a tiny smile. "Why else would I offer?" He said, voice quiet but firm. He didn't want to pressure Jaskier into anything he didn't want to do. Geralt may have hesitated initially, but he didn't want to push Jaskier away. If the man needed space he could have it. Else Geralt didn't want to be the one to create that distance between them.

As Jaskier noticed the blood and how it was still coming from his foot, Geralt let himself change from a more reserved mode to a focused one. This he could deal with, and far better than emotions. He had hoped the gash wouldn't need stitches. That would be a pain, literally and physically. He would prefer it if bandages, compression, and pressure could do enough to let it heal, but he doubted he'd be that lucky.

"Sit down," he ordered, voice quiet and not sharp, but it didn't offer any argument. Geralt crouched in front of Jaskier, tugging the footrest the lute had been resting on over. He positioned Jaskier's on it and moved so that he was facing the man. Gently, Geralt seized the end of the wrapping and started unravelling it, starting Jaskier's foot with his other hand. He set the bloody bandages aside, examining the wound.

Jaskier nodded and smiled at him, sitting down on the couch and placing his foot up as he was instructed, a quiet hiss merging from him as he felt the bandages peel off of him.

The wound was puffy, red and aggravated, dripping and oozing blood out, it was ripped open and not closed or had tried to stitch together at all.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier gazed at Geralt with a hum as he smiled a little "It doesn't hurt too badly, I can- ouch!" he tried to move his foot a little in order to prove that he was fine and it didn't hurt at all. If anything it proved the opposite. "I uh, I would like to help, bathe you that is. Seeming as you offered." He spoke with a smile at him as he looked at Geralt with watery eyes, the pain getting to him finally.

Jaskier smiled slightly as his eyes flickered down to the ground before back up to Geralt. "So um, I know I shouldn't ask and you do not have to reply but, was it because I ya know?" He said trying to gesture to when he slipped his tongue over Geralt's lips.

His face reddened slightly as he looked to Geralt's eyes. "We uh, we can make boundaries or if it's because you now know that I'm gay then that's okay as well." He didn't know what was going on in Geralt's head but he wanted to make sure that he knew Jaskier was okay with discussing it, he just didn't know if Geralt wanted to.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt looked up from the gash. From the looks of it, compression might not be enough. The cut looked infected, alongside the rest of it all. He gripped Jaskier's ankle when the man tried to move his foot, stilling him. But he took his attention away from it long enough to pay attention to Jaskier.

Boundaries. Would have been smart to set those day one, before they'd arrived at the man's apartment, even. Might have saved them a lot of trouble. Geralt gave a small shrug. "If you want to properly set them."

He had his own personal ones, of course, but he could become stricter with them if Jaskier wanted.

"I don't mind that you're gay," he muttered. "I'm bisexual." He wasn't out to many people, not that Jaskier would know. Clients needed to know very little of his personal life, and his Geralt wasn't a particularly open person. Yennefer knew, as did Vesemir. He had told his dog, Roach, and he suspected Ciri had figured it out. She was a smart girl, of course, she had. Geralt returned his attention to the wound.

"You'll need another set of stitches," he said calmly. That might be difficult, especially since Jaskier needed to get around. Geralt could carry him, yes, but it would be a pain and inconvenient, plus impractical. Crutches would make the most sense.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nearly jumped when he felt Geralt's hand on his ankle. He was right though, he really shouldn't have moved his foot, or leg really, to begin with. He smiled at Geralt with a small smile and gave him a little glace of apology for moving his foot when Geralt was obviously trying to help him.

Jaskier's eyebrows raised as he heard Geralt tell him he was bisexual. Honestly, he had thought it could be the case but as soon as Geralt had mentioned a girlfriend, he ignored all thoughts of it. Now that those thoughts were back, he sighed lightly. He saw his phone that was still on the couch from before they even left.

"I uh, I honestly with you it's not that I want to. It's that I'm going to need to." He spoke almost under his breath as he looked at his foot, a little bit ashamed of himself.

His gaze shifted back to Geralt with wide eyes. "What- stitches?" He internally was grimacing at the fact that he needed them. He growled lightly under his voice, fucking stitches. God, he hated them. "I suppose we should just get it over and done with. Seeming you manged to do my head so well and it only aches occasionally, I'm sure you could do a good job. Unless we uh, needed to go to the hospital." His voice weakened towards the end of his sentence; he really really did not want to go to the fucking hospital. But in this case, he didn't want to bother Geralt with it as well.

Jaskier thought for a moment. He knew that they would ask, the doctor that is. He'd have to answer questions about medications that they think he is taking. And probably would be best if he were taking them but he's seen what it has done to people, Djinn's son was on anti-depressants and they fucked with his head so much. He relied on them and way too much. Jaskier didn't want to try and be helped mentally, he didn't want it even though he secretly knew he needed it.

Plus half the staff knew him from when he used to visit Djinn's son as well. The first time he tried to commit suicide, Jaskier dragged him there himself so they could pump his stomach and that's all that he could think of.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt's brow furrowed at Jaskier's words. He lifted his gaze again, looking to see if he would meet the other man's only to find him staring at his foot. Geralt sat back on his haunches, hands resting by his knees. If Jaskier felt they needed to figure out where they stood, then they could.

"We can do that," he agreed. Geralt didn't mind too strongly one way or the other, though he did find himself leaning more towards having fewer boundaries here. Almost as soon as he heard the thought other thoughts crowded it, reminding him of Yennefer and seeing her another curl of guilt through him. Enough. He could deal with that at a later time.

He gently stroked the side of Jaskier's ankle. Yes, stitches were looking like the right way to go. "You won't be walking," he said in warning. Jaskier wouldn't anyways, though. But especially not with the stitches in. If they caught on something or tore it could go badly. And they were in an awkward spot, which would make applying them difficult. Geralt tried again to catch Jaskier's eye. He rose slowly to his feet.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nodded with a hum in agreement to Geralt's agreement, they had a lot to sort out. Not many boundaries would be made but the few which were there, they had to make sure they stayed. Like kissing, how much can they do? How far could they go?

His mind quickly changed as soon as he heard that he wouldn't be walking and growled slightly at himself before looking at Geralt, meeting his gaze as he watched him stand up. "Does this mean we have to go to the hospital?" he almost whimpered to him. He would refuse, no matter what.

He would cling to the couch if he needed to, he would not be going. His breath hitched in his throat as he thought for a moment that he may be forced to go. He felt his heart rate accelerate and his stomach curling and he was almost sure that his face had paled. Not here. Not right now, he couldn't be having an attack right now. Fuck he hated this. His anxiety started to grow before he realized that he had started to hyperventilate, fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck.

He looked at Geralt with his eyes wide. This right before stitches really didn't fucking help. He could feel it, it was an anxiety attack, not a panic one. The hospital had triggered it. He had medications in the bathroom, instantaneous calmers.

He looked to Geralt as he started to wheeze and reached a hand out to him. He pointed to the bathroom. "Alprazolam," he tried to wheeze out, the name of a medication. He pointed at the bathroom as he coughed as started to shake violently. It was in the bathroom. He couldn't tell Geralt where they were, he couldn't think of that. They were hidden behind all of his perfumes and spare bottles he had under the cabinet sink in the bathroom, they were buried purposely.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt shook his head. He could do the stitches himself. It wasn't going to be pleasant, for either of them, but he could do it. "No hospital." As Jaskier started to hyperventilate, Geralt moved closer and gripped his shoulder. They weren't going anywhere, Jaskier wasn't in danger. He was aware of the man's hatred and fear of hospitals, but if that was what was causing this... well, things might end up getting difficult, at least for Geralt.

He squeezed Jaskier's shoulder, then let go, moving his arm back to his side. It was going to be a long month, but he would do what could. Jaskier had gasped something out. Some medication or other. The word was somewhat familiar.

Geralt made for the bathroom, jogging a few steps of the way despite it not being far. He opened the door to it and looked around. There was a cabinet. He didn't see anything obvious on the sink. Might as well start there.

Geralt opened the cabinet, searching for anything that might point him in the right direction. He found a bottle of ibuprofen and some cough relief, but nothing more. He shut the cabinet and whirled around. The sink was clear. The main cabinet was clear. He took a step closer and tugged on the handles of the cabinet under the sink's doors. They opened.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier tried to inhale and exhale to keep track of how much oxygen he was getting, he didn't need the poor man having him faint, vomit, wake up, hyperventilate and have stitches put in. Jesus Christ that was a list but it was a motive to help Jaksier to convince himself he needed to calm down. He knew if he walked on it, Geralt would probably get pissed.

He tried to keep his mind at bay, the flashes of sitting next to Leon flashed in his mind, sitting for hours holding his hand for the man to wake up.

How he'd vomited from the anxiety that was created and the way he could do absolutely nothing about it.

'But this isn't there, Jaskier, this isn't there' he repeated in his mind a couple of times. He started to force himself to think. Geralt is here, he'll do it. No hospitals, he said no hospital.

Honestly, nothing was helping his breathing much, but what did help was the fact he was reminding himself that he was there, he wasn't going anywhere. He didn't manage to calm his breathing, but at least he could control the hyperventilating to an extent.

He growled to himself, putting pressure on Geralt was not what he needed to do. If he wasn't meant to stick around for 24 hours he would've quite happily let Geralt go to his own place... Did his girlfriend live there? Maybe he should ask stuff like that, get to know the guy.

The pain in his lungs reminded him suddenly that in order to breathe it takes both inhaling and exhaling, not just one or the other. He didn't have tears coming down his cheeks, he only had a couple of flashes of images from Leon but other than that, it was pure anxiety. It was a side effect from his panic attacks, not a condition true to itself. He might have to explain to Geralt just how fucked up his head actually is, which would make for a lovely conversation.

He looked around the room. "Three things I can see, three things I can see," he muttered to himself, barely forming the words as he blinked a couple of times before closing his eyes, squeezing them with a light "dammit" following after.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt kept searching. He crouched down before the cabinet under the sink, looking in. There was a messy array of perfume bottles, empty and not, tucked away. Nothing quite jumped out as anxiety medication. But he kept looking. Jaskier had pointed towards this room, and it wasn't a large room. If the medication was here, he'd find it.

Leaving the doors to the sink's cabinet open, Geralt rose to his feet again, knees decidedly not popping as he straightened his legs. He looked around again, amber eyes searching for another hiding place, anything. He checked the shower on a whim, tugging the curtain aside, but his efforts were fruitless. They told him where it wasn't, not where it was.

It wasn't a big room, he reminded himself. He needed to recheck things. He had probably missed something. He checked the space between the toilet and the wall for good measure, then crossed the room back to the cabinet. He opened it again and went shelf by shelf, moving quickly but not sacrificing his thoroughness. That meant slowing down at parts, but it would save him time in the long run, Geralt knew.

When that proved not to be where Jaskier had stashed the medication, Geralt moved back to the cabinet under the sink. Knowing Jaskier would probably get mad if he disturbed anything too much, he had been careful with the main cabinet. This one, however, was a mess of bottles. Harder.

Gritting his teeth, Geralt checked around the rest of the cabinet first, running his hands along the sides, bottom and top to see what he could feel. Nothing but the cabinet itself. He gave himself half an exhale before he took hold of two of the bottles. Their necks were held between the fingers of one hand. Geralt carefully set them aside, then kept going.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier was clutching to his shirt he was wearing, for fuck's sake did this really have to happen now?

At the back of the cabinet where the pills were stashed, there would be 6 or 7 different bottles each with a different name. They were a small orange-brown container, the colour of typical gross medicine with a label printed out on it. "Julian. A. Pankratz" was printed out on the front of each of them. They were hidden well, tucked away but they were definitely there, even if you had to grab everything and throw it out on the floor, they would be in there somewhere. The bottles were not very large, each one skinny and well at hiding.

Jaskier meanwhile was in the living room still, cursing in his head as he was trying to remember the 54321 technique before rolling his eyes. It's five things you can see. He looked around the room. Blood. That was the first thing he saw on the carpet and he would've normally rolled his eyes and cracked a joke but blood being the first thing he saw really did not fucking help.

He swallowed, hard as he looked at his lute. Lute. That calmed him. He loved his lute. His breathing wasn't changing, keeping at a constant speed even if it was because he was hyperventilating, at least it was something. He felt his head start to feel dizzy before he pulled himself back into reality.

Couch. The couch was three, he was nearly there. He could totally see, he could focus. A wave of dizziness came over him again before he growled at himself. Fuck. He squeezed his eyes closed, breathing becoming slightly faster which made him panic slightly more, heart thudding stupidly in his chest.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt found himself starting to take the bottles out. He set them down on the floor beside them. It was as neat as he could get in his rush. If Jaskier had calmed down, he would have said something. Would have shouted or would be waiting. Geralt kept searching, under the hope that if it proved unneeded, he would be told.

His fingers brushed a different type of container. This one was small and thin, hidden by its brethren. His knuckles bumped against the back of the cabinet as he closed his fingers around it. Geralt withdrew his hand. This one looked more like the kind of bottle medication would be put in. It had a name on it, a name that wasn't Jaskier.

He frowned, suspicious until he remembered that on the original contract he had been given for his current client, the name listed hadn't been Jaskier. Jaskier was probably a stage name or a nickname, then. Geralt could ask. But the bottle he had grabbed wasn't the right one. He set it aside and kept looking.

On the fifth of the small, orange-brown bottles he found, he saw the label marking it as 'alprazolam.' That was what Jaskier had asked for. Geralt reached up and set it by the sink. He put the rest of the bottles away as best he could, caring less about getting them exactly as they were than getting back to Jaskier.

He shut the cabinet doors and stood, taking the bottle from the sink. He stepped back out into the hallway and crossed it to the room he was to sleep in. He dug the medical pouch out of his duffel bag and strode back to Jaskier. The man didn't look like he was doing so well, though Geralt couldn't say he knew what was going on in Jaskier's head.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier growled as he looked around. Anything, something. Two more things, how hard was it to decide. He didn't think his indecisiveness would kick him in the ass at this certain point of time.

He looked around the room before he saw Geralt emerge, thank the high heavens that was one more thing. He looked at Geralt for a moment. Do colours count? Fuck they do now. "Geralt. Gold," he said out loud as he stared up at Geralt. That probably confused the living fuck out of Geralt but Jaskier could not give any less of a shit then he did at this current point in time.

He reached out his hand towards Geralt, not even seeing the medication yet, he mainly just wanted to have Geralt there so he could feel the other man's pulse. Physical contact and feeling another's pulse was quite normal for those with frequent anxiety attacks. It was due to us as babies, we would sit and stop crying once we heard the heartbeat of our mother or father or siblings.

The calm gentleness of it would soothe him. That carries on with most of the people. For some, it does not but for Jaskier it did. He tried to breathe deeply, it actually working a little bit now that his chest didn't feel as tight while looking at Geralt, knowing that he was here with him.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt switched so that he was holding bottle and pouch in the same hand, and grasped Jaskier's with his other. He held onto the man's wrist, the bottoms of their palms touching. He didn't understand what Jaskier had said, but he decided to put that aside. It wasn't important right now. He carefully moved in so that he was standing in front of Jaskier, the front of his legs nearly touching the couch.

He set the pouch and bottle down next to the man. He clearly wasn't alright, but since Geralt had left he seemed to be doing better. Geralt would need him focused if he was to do the stitches, however. If he was lucid, he could give Geralt feedback and would be more in control of himself.

Geralt lifted his free hand to Jaskier's face, gently stroking the hair back from the side of it. "One to ten, how lucid are you? One is not at all." He kept his tone warm and open, hoping Jaskier had heard him and could process an answer.

Geralt kept stroking Jaskier's face, sinking into a lower position. He was no longer looming over Jaskier. Instead, the bodyguard was kneeling in front of him, one leg under him and the other with up with its knee bent. He kept his eyes on Jaskier's.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier felt relief flood over his body as soon as he could feel Geralt's body touching his in some way. He held Geralt's arm, wrist, hand, he couldn't process which one it was but he felt that their hands were palm on palm touching.

He saw Geralt's lips move and he frowned a little bit, not processing what they were saying. The only thing he really understood were the numbers one and ten. He stared at Geralt, confused for a moment before his brow stopped frowning and he processed he had said lucid.

"I- Four." he stuttered going to say something before realising he can't damn well of processed which way was up on his scale and which way was down but either way, four was close to five so it must be about right.

He dizzily looked at Geralt, realizing now that he was touching his face. He was stroking his face, he was looking after him. It was Geralt. He wanted his heart rate.

Jaskier's eyes looked to the bottle for a moment before growling and ignoring it, it would be too difficult for him to open in his state. He leaned forwards a tad, the best he could so he could hug Geralt before realizing in their positions there was no way in hell.

He looked to meet Geralt's gaze again as he reached out his hand towards Geralt's chest, failing quite miserably at finding his heart, thinking it was on the right side. "Pulse." he managed to say, slurring slightly and saying it slower than normal, mainly so he made sure that the words actually got out.

_Geralt POV_

Four. Alright then. He would prefer it to be higher, but four was a good enough start. He brushed the hair out of Jaskier's face, aware that he might be disturbing the man's usual hairstyle. At this point, Geralt didn't much care. They could fix that easily enough. Geralt kept stroking, processing Jaskier's growl.

When the man slurred out "pulse" and reached for his chest, Geralt gently caught his arm with one hand, the hand that had been stroking Jaskier's face. He pressed Jaskier's hand to his heart for a moment, letting him feel his heartbeat. Judging from the way Jaskier had lurched forwards, Geralt suspected more physical contact would be welcome, so long as it involves his pulse.

The easiest way to hug Jaskier from where the man was sitting now would be to straddle him, but Geralt was heavy and that position was both awkward and uncomfortable. Instead, he moved the pouch and bottle to the far side of Jaskier, then sat where they had been.

One leg was pulled up onto the couch, the other touching the floor. He was turned to face most of the way towards Jaskier. With his outside hand, he pressed Jaskier's palm to his heart again, gripping it with his inside hand. He moved the outside hand to the man's shoulder.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier's haze slightly calmed down, his mind stopped spinning as much a he felt the steady pace of Geralt's heartbeat under his hand. His breathing was slightly slower as he tried to take deeper breaths, his rubs were aching so bad at this point but compared to his foot they honestly didn't even hurt.

Jaskier felt Geralt move and nearly let out a whimper before noticing that he came up and sat next to him. The hand on his shoulder brung him more into reality as he blinked a couple of times, still dazed but nowhere near as bad.

Jaskier leaned forwards, an awkward position but he didn't care. One hand was on Geralt's leg that he had tucked up so he could face Jaskier and the other hand stayed in his heart. He let his forehead go forwards as he slowly let it land on Geralt shoulder as he took some deep breaths. They could either sit here for damn hours and calm him down like this or he could take his meds. His jaw clenched lightly.

"Pills," he said again, this time not having to slow down in order use his annunciation properly, a sign of improvement. Geralt could probably feel Jaskier's pulse by touching his shoulder, his whole body vibrated each forced pump of blood. It was fast, around 140beats per minute slowing down slightly to 120. It doesn't get as high as his panic attacks but it doesn't mean it feels any nicer. But the lack of pissing, shitting, and vomiting helped out in weighing which one was better.

He closed his eyes as he was on Geralt's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he started muttering, at least one "I'm sorry" every two or three breaths. This time he wasn't sorry for Geralt's shirt, he was sorry he had to take care of him because he hated medications.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt wrapped the arm the wasn't on Jaskier's shoulder around the man. It meant taking his hand off Jaskier's, but it pulled them closer together. He kept his presence light, trying to keep it something firm Jaskier could lean into but not something that would feel suffocating. He stroked the man's back as Jaskier pressed his forehead into Geralt's shoulder.

The pills. Right. What he had gone to get and then had come back to give. He reached his outside hand over Jaskier's lap to reach them. He brought the bottle back as he sat up some. Was Jaskier capable of opening it? The man was a good deal less shaky than before, but his pulse was still far too fast. Geralt brushed his hand against the pulse point in Jaskier's neck. He withdrew it, remembering what it was he was trying to accomplish.

"How many?" He said, tuning out Jaskier's apologies. It was fine. The man hadn't asked to be this way. He was trying to cope. Geralt could deal with that. So long as Jaskier was trying, Geralt was more than willing to help.

"To check," he said quietly, seeing the label on the bottle. "You are Julian?"

_Julian POV_

Jaskier nearly, nearly rolled his eyes but instead, he let out a groan. "Julian Alfred Pankratz, Viscount de Lettenhove, eldest son. Now pills." He slurred out his reply before he tapped Geralt's knee and held up two fingers at him.

If he were not in such a state he would probably be laughing and blushing at the fact Geralt had just said his first name. Jaskier held a hand over Geralt's heart rate, breathing in deeply in time with it the best that he could.

He inhaled deeply, exhaling just as deep, his dizziness was fading and he was starting to be able to think à little better but he knew, as soon as the pills were taken away for the thought of him having pulls, his heart rate would spike again. 90beats now, Jaskier was calming down pretty damn fast. Hell having an oddly slow heart rate around, he must ask later on why the hell Geralt's heart rate was so slow.

He turned his hand over that held up the two fingers lazily and waited for the pills to be placed in his hand. God Geralt would need one hell of a bath after this. He was going to get everything. Salts, oils and all and he can shut his mouth about it because its the best way Jaskier knew to say thank you.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt grunted his assent and shifted so that he could reach the poll bottle with both hands and didn't have to remove his arm from around Jaskier's shoulders. He got the cal open. He had always disliked this safety cap features, but he knew their use. There were times he was glad they were there. Most of the time, however, they were a nuisance. Geralt shook two of the pills out onto his hand, then tipped them into Jaskier's waiting one.

He capped the bottle and tossed it back down by his pouch, settling back so that his weight wasn't over Jaskier anymore. He kept breathing, letting his slow heart carry on its dull, thudding pace. There were days his slow heartbeat bothered him, but Jaskier seemed to like it.

Perhaps it was the story behind his heart that bothered Geralt so, and not the speed. He leaned more against the couch, his side pressed to it as the hand he had on Jaskier's back idly stroked the man. He wondered if he should offer to get him water.

It was oddly quiet in the apartment, aside from the sounds of their breathing. There was noise coming in from outside, but it sounded as if they were underwater. It was slow and distorted and sounded as if it was coming from without, which it was. Geralt watched Jaskier, amber eyes seeking blue, hoping for more clarity to be found in the latter this time.

_Julian POV_

Jaskier felt the pills in his hand and he lifted his forehead, leaving a thin layer of sweat pressed into his shirt. Jaskier would have to apologise for that later.

Jaskier grunted lightly as he brought the pills to his lips and took them in his mouth, forcing his head to loll all the way back before swallowing, a sigh coming from his lips as he sat with his eyes closed before mustering up the strength to hold his head normally.

His eyes opened slowly after he could get his head right, stopping it from being so dizzy. He shifted his gaze from looking at what was in front of him, Geralt's chest. He looked at his hand which was placed over his chest, feeling the study dull thump. It's amazing how it can be relaxed and slow even at a time like this. Then again, he's probably been through way worse.

His blue eyes locked onto the Amber one, relief and slight anxiety in his eyes which was expected due to events which had just happened. He gave a sheepish half-hearted lopsided poor excuse of a smile at Geralt and let an airy laugh come from within him.

"Hello," he said with a light chuckle, now that he felt as if he were back in the land of the godforsaken living. He looked into Geralt's eyes, the dizziness visibly removing itself from Jaksiers eyes as he took a couple more deep breaths, the pills working nearly instantly at the same time as the comfort from Geralt. His shitty smile turned into a slightly more gentle one, a truer one.

_Geralt POV_

"Hm," Geralt said in reply, but it was fond and welcoming. He slowly removed his arm from its position around Jaskier, no longer seeing a need to support the man now that he was back in his own mind. He repeated his question from earlier.

"One to ten, how lucid are you? One is not at all." He had the feeling Jaskier hadn't quite processed the question the first time he had asked it. He reached over Jaskier again to take hold of his pouch. Once the man was back, they could deal with his foot.

Geralt slid slowly off the couch, moving without haste both to not start and not jostle Jaskier. Once he was back on the floor, he manoeuvred so that he was crouching in front of Jaskier's foot. The thing didn't look much better. Geralt was certain it was infected and keeping it wrapped as long as they had hadn't done it any favours.

He checked that the bloody bandage was still where he had left it. Geralt reached over and neatened how it lay on the floor, containing it so it wasn't over so much floor space. He returned his attention to Jaskier's foot.

Jaskier chuckled as Geralt made a 'hm' back, damn typical broody ass. Though a nice ass. Jaskier looked at Geralt and raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you asked before, had no idea what you said apart from numbers and lucid." He couldn't help but let himself laugh lightly.

"Ah fuck, I'm not going to enjoy this. Around eight. And I don't care what the fuck you say, we are having a glass of wine when you have your damn bath because I need one and you sure as hell deserve one. And the wine will go off." He hadn't meant to be so direct and slightly demanding by the sounds of it. But he was still slightly out of it and his thoughts came out as pure thoughts.

He watched Geralt, seeing how he moved so gently and laughed a little bit to himself. Geralt probably didn't think that of himself in any way shape or form and yet, Jaskier started humming away. He had the last verse to make before he had finished his beautiful song of wine and Geralt. He'd have to sing it to him in the bath, gently massage his shoulders, might even rub some oil on his ass. A damn good muscle relaxant, one of his oils is.

_Geralt POV_

Geralt gave a light huff at Jaskier's words as he opened the pouch. Of course the man was going to insist, despite the risks. Geralt took out a pack of alcohol wipes and removed one from the pack. He steadied Jaskier's foot with one hand as he dabbed at the wound with the wipe he held in the other.

He cleaned the worst of the blood off with the first wipe, then took out a second. He cleaned around the edges, sterilizing it as best he could with what he had. He held the wipe over the gash while he took out the needle and thread for the stitches, as well as the ointment to numb it. The salve also acted to fight infection, which was going to be needed. Particularly if Jaskier intended to walk again soon.

Geralt set about tying the thread to the needle. He took off the wipe and made eye contact with Jaskier. The man looked lucid enough, and this would be over quickly. Geralt dabbed the ointment on around the gash and took the threaded needle in hand. Once he judged a few minutes had passed and the area had numbed, he pressed the needle against the skin.


End file.
